Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice.
My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary.
I just don't know where to go from here, we live about 3000kms apart and this has come very out of the blue. He has only just returned home after spending 3ish weeks with us over Christmas.
What can i do from this far away? I have a new baby and jumping on a plane just isn't really practical right now.
I will also add that he has health issues caused by life long alcoholism and starting again is putting his life at risk.
luv123 said
Jan 21, 2017
I am sorry you are going through this stress. I can relate from my experience with alc. parents--it can be very frustrating anc scary not to have any control over their drinking. But it is something I had to accept. In al-anon we try not to give advice just suggestions based on our experience working the program. (reading the Alanon literature, talking with members, attending meetings, applying slogans to our lives and trying new behaviors) We find out here that it is a program for us and not for the alcoholic. The alcoholic can choose AA & or treatment or not, that must be there choice---I gave my relapsing mom info about AA and told her her drinking was really hurting me and our relationship. That was the most I could do and then I worked Al-anon principles to deal with my feelings (anxiety) about not having control---there is so much hope for our serenity in these alanon rooms, message boards etc. My mom got very very sick before she was ready again to stop, but I got better at dealing with it, because I stuck with the program. She eventually stopped again and found AA when she was ready thank God, but there are just no gaurantees and I only have to live with the uncertainty one day at a time---with this support I can do that. Keep coming back and learning more about how to focus on your recovery from the AFFECTS of alcoholism on your life---u and your new baby deserve this self care!!
Consider the phone meetings too and face to face ones may even have babysitting at some: click on find a meeting on the Al-anon.org website.
hotrod said
Jan 21, 2017
Welocme KT as you know alcoholism is a chronic disease over which we are powerless. It is a disease that can be arrested but not cured. In order for family members to learn new and positive tools to live by, Alanon was founded. Breaking the isolation caused by interacting with the disease,is extremely important. Face to face meetings help to do this. Living one day at a time, focused on ourselves helps to rebuild our lives and restores hope. Keep coming back here as well.
Iamhere said
Jan 22, 2017
I too send warm welcomes to you KT. I am also sorry for the worry you are experiencing over the disease. Sending you prayers and positive thoughts - I was only able to find my peace through my own personal recovery - focusing on my qualifiers just made my life worse.
Please keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery!
Hi All,
Im new to the forum and am in need of a little advice.
My father is/was a recovering Alcoholic. He has been sober for 12 years. I now have reason to believe that he has started drinking again. After a few phone calls where his speech has been slurred and he has been acting very out of the ordinary.
I just don't know where to go from here, we live about 3000kms apart and this has come very out of the blue. He has only just returned home after spending 3ish weeks with us over Christmas.
What can i do from this far away? I have a new baby and jumping on a plane just isn't really practical right now.
I will also add that he has health issues caused by life long alcoholism and starting again is putting his life at risk.
I am sorry you are going through this stress. I can relate from my experience with alc. parents--it can be very frustrating anc scary not to have any control over their drinking. But it is something I had to accept. In al-anon we try not to give advice just suggestions based on our experience working the program. (reading the Alanon literature, talking with members, attending meetings, applying slogans to our lives and trying new behaviors) We find out here that it is a program for us and not for the alcoholic. The alcoholic can choose AA & or treatment or not, that must be there choice---I gave my relapsing mom info about AA and told her her drinking was really hurting me and our relationship. That was the most I could do and then I worked Al-anon principles to deal with my feelings (anxiety) about not having control---there is so much hope for our serenity in these alanon rooms, message boards etc. My mom got very very sick before she was ready again to stop, but I got better at dealing with it, because I stuck with the program. She eventually stopped again and found AA when she was ready thank God, but there are just no gaurantees and I only have to live with the uncertainty one day at a time---with this support I can do that. Keep coming back and learning more about how to focus on your recovery from the AFFECTS of alcoholism on your life---u and your new baby deserve this self care!!
Consider the phone meetings too and face to face ones may even have babysitting at some: click on find a meeting on the Al-anon.org website.
Please keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery!