Just looking for a little guidance from you all who know the program and the disease so much better than me. My AH had a slip up on NYE, he had promised me he wouldn't drink and he did, and he didn't get drunk and stopped after I said something to him, which I did in a nice non accusatory fashion on my part. I was so upset about it though and about how he had been a jerk that day in general, that I lost my serenity and the next day really had it out with him. Well, we didn't talk about it again after that and after a few days, things sort of got back to normal between us except that he since it happened, he won't kiss me good night anymore. He acts totally normally to me during the day, but just stopped kissing me good night. I don't know if he is still mad because I lost my cool, or he is still feeling shame about what happened, or both, but its starting to bother me. I know I should be focusing on me and what I want to do about it, and not wondering what his motivations are. It has just been bothering me.
Do I confront him? I know its just my decision but I don't know if I want to push it if its part of the shame or disease.
Fooled said
Jan 16, 2017
Just throwing it out there....my husband who normally kisses me when he comes home, stopped when he drank secretly because I would be able to smell it and taste it.
hotrod said
Jan 16, 2017
Hi MB After joining alanon i gave up mind reading and jumping to conclusions and learned how to ask for what I needed. Talking things over and reason tings out usually works best for me.
Just looking for a little guidance from you all who know the program and the disease so much better than me. My AH had a slip up on NYE, he had promised me he wouldn't drink and he did, and he didn't get drunk and stopped after I said something to him, which I did in a nice non accusatory fashion on my part. I was so upset about it though and about how he had been a jerk that day in general, that I lost my serenity and the next day really had it out with him. Well, we didn't talk about it again after that and after a few days, things sort of got back to normal between us except that he since it happened, he won't kiss me good night anymore. He acts totally normally to me during the day, but just stopped kissing me good night. I don't know if he is still mad because I lost my cool, or he is still feeling shame about what happened, or both, but its starting to bother me. I know I should be focusing on me and what I want to do about it, and not wondering what his motivations are. It has just been bothering me.
Do I confront him? I know its just my decision but I don't know if I want to push it if its part of the shame or disease.
Hi MB After joining alanon i gave up mind reading and jumping to conclusions and learned how to ask for what I needed. Talking things over and reason tings out usually works best for me.
Good Luck