Normally I can just ignore it, but I have an aunt that I love very much that is entrenched in this political carp right now. It is so hard not to send her a message to ask her to stop sending me this hateful garbage she finds on facebook and elsewhere. I know if I say anything she will probably stop talking to me for awhile and that hurts, too. She takes things too personally, always has. So far I have just ignored it and scrolled on, but now she has started sending them by private message. Ugh! Can't it just stop already!?!?!?!?!?!?! All this hate just hurts my heart.
KennyFenderjazz said
Jan 11, 2017
HI Jen,
I like the way you mistyped "crap" into "carp". Reminds me of the adage about company and fish (and now politics) getting old after 3 days. A Freudian mistype?
I'm having the same types of travails on my FB feed, it just keeps getting more insane on both sides. I thought it would end after the election! I swore I wouldn't block people, but I am very close to blocking a few, I am about to unfollow a couple anyway.
To me, if I say what I mean, mean what I say, and don't say it mean, it then becomes the other's responsibility on how to react to that. If someone is sensitive, then that is their choice, as long as I didn't get mean about it, I at least let them know how I feel. I think that is reasonable after hearing how that person feels for post after post, one post telling them how I feel shouldn't be a problem, and if it is, it was their choice to take it offensively, just as it's my choice to block their posts after a while.
Kenny
Jen said
Jan 11, 2017
Hi Kenny!
That is funny. I sometimes mistype that on purpose, but never thought about the fish analogy. LOL
You are right, of course. It is their responsibility to react or not to my stated view. As long as I state it in a respectful way, it is not really my problem. And I know that when my aunt takes things personally it may even be a manipulative way for her to impose her opinions on others, too. Listen to me, or I won't talk to you. LOL I don't mind it so much in my news feed. It is much more annoying in private messages. I may need to just leave it alone for a bit. Today I don't seem to be able to say it nicely without elaborating in a way that I know she will not receive well. Maybe later I can be more to the point. Then again.. Oh man. Maybe I should just put the keyboard down and back away. Ha ha ha ha
Jazzie18 said
Jan 11, 2017
I have unfollowed people in the past and I believe that don't know that you can't see them in your daily feed. The private messages are tough though. If all else fails, I think you can delete the private message app on your iphone.
Iamhere said
Jan 11, 2017
I have been able to scroll past all the political carp (ha.ha.ha.ha.) the entire season....I was just raised to not discuss politics and religion and a few others 'in public'...
So - I just scroll. I too hoped it would end when the election was over and some has. I think about the serenity prayer - what I can change is the frequency that I visit FB - I'm down to about once a week or so...
I won't unfollow folks as I'm selective about who I friend in the first place. The political climate has created extreme passion on all sides and while I SMH often at what others are willing to post publicly, I've just decided it's not my place to judge/comment/like/hate/other.
I just keep scrolling and go out of my way to avoid the heated discussions!!
I know where you are - it makes me sad at a deep level as it adds to the divide I feel in our nation. I will not contribute for any reason at any time.
Maresie25 said
Jan 11, 2017
I went through something like this with a friend of mine. Limits are limits. Very very difficult. I lost the friendship. I reinforced my boundaries.
hotrod said
Jan 11, 2017
((Jen)) you are not alone-
Jen said
Jan 11, 2017
Thanks everybody. I love your ESH. I know I can't control my aunt, so scroll on is just the way it will be until I feel the need to put up a boundary, then she will just have to deal with it. LOL Sometimes taking care of ourselves just isn't the easiest thing. And it's not always the alcoholic who challenges us. One day at a time!
KennyFenderjazz said
Jan 12, 2017
I did end up blocking someone on FB this morning. It wasn't because I disagreed with them, it was simply because at his high rate of posting, my feed was completely full of his posts! I couldn't get to my goofy dog videos anymore lol.
Kenny
Jerry F said
Jan 12, 2017
Great post as I am sure more of us have been drawn to this carp...lol. Sick sick people showing more need for recovery. (((hugs)))
Iamhere said
Jan 12, 2017
KennyFenderjazz wrote:
I did end up blocking someone on FB this morning. It wasn't because I disagreed with them, it was simply because at his high rate of posting, my feed was completely full of his posts! I couldn't get to my goofy dog videos anymore lol.
Kenny
OMG....this made me chuckle out loud....it is the animal and kid pictures and videos that I enjoy the most!!!
2HP said
Jan 14, 2017
Such a great post reminding me of one of the biggest reasons I came to Al-anon... people don't act the way I want them to act, lol
Alcoholic or otherwise, there are ALWAYS going to be elephants in the room.... and my values will always be challenged. I'm no longer on Facebook (as an amends to myself) but it's impossible to escape this political climate, particularly at work.
I feel grateful for the daily discipline of Al-anon... of watching myself... at ME being triggered... my attitudes and reactions... even the discomfort in the practice of patience.
But your post especially reminds me of step three... at how I can make the decision to turn my will and my life over to God's care... I can make the decision to let God be the director of the show... I can become willing to change. Yet how often I can say, "Your Will be done, but not THIS!!!"
Not sure of your exact experience, just noticing the title of your post includes the word "hate." For me, Higher Power is never in support of hate. The 12th step to me, is about serving God alone. so do I simply detach to keep myself cozy? or is my experience more about responsibility (ability to respond.)
One of the greatest challenges in my recovery has been how to use my God-given voice... do I speak up? or say less? They always told me if I have trouble on a step, to back up and work on the previous step. I do know this from personal experience, courage is the opposite of "cozy."
I am grateful for your thought-provoking post as I can totally relate to these spiritual challenges. More convinced than ever that nothing in God's world happens by mistake.
-- Edited by 2HP on Saturday 14th of January 2017 06:18:21 PM
-- Edited by 2HP on Sunday 15th of January 2017 03:56:40 PM
Normally I can just ignore it, but I have an aunt that I love very much that is entrenched in this political carp right now. It is so hard not to send her a message to ask her to stop sending me this hateful garbage she finds on facebook and elsewhere. I know if I say anything she will probably stop talking to me for awhile and that hurts, too. She takes things too personally, always has. So far I have just ignored it and scrolled on, but now she has started sending them by private message. Ugh! Can't it just stop already!?!?!?!?!?!?! All this hate just hurts my heart.
I like the way you mistyped "crap" into "carp". Reminds me of the adage about company and fish (and now politics) getting old after 3 days. A Freudian mistype?
I'm having the same types of travails on my FB feed, it just keeps getting more insane on both sides. I thought it would end after the election! I swore I wouldn't block people, but I am very close to blocking a few, I am about to unfollow a couple anyway.
To me, if I say what I mean, mean what I say, and don't say it mean, it then becomes the other's responsibility on how to react to that. If someone is sensitive, then that is their choice, as long as I didn't get mean about it, I at least let them know how I feel. I think that is reasonable after hearing how that person feels for post after post, one post telling them how I feel shouldn't be a problem, and if it is, it was their choice to take it offensively, just as it's my choice to block their posts after a while.
Kenny
That is funny. I sometimes mistype that on purpose, but never thought about the fish analogy. LOL
You are right, of course. It is their responsibility to react or not to my stated view. As long as I state it in a respectful way, it is not really my problem. And I know that when my aunt takes things personally it may even be a manipulative way for her to impose her opinions on others, too. Listen to me, or I won't talk to you. LOL I don't mind it so much in my news feed. It is much more annoying in private messages. I may need to just leave it alone for a bit. Today I don't seem to be able to say it nicely without elaborating in a way that I know she will not receive well. Maybe later I can be more to the point. Then again.. Oh man. Maybe I should just put the keyboard down and back away. Ha ha ha ha
So - I just scroll. I too hoped it would end when the election was over and some has. I think about the serenity prayer - what I can change is the frequency that I visit FB - I'm down to about once a week or so...
I won't unfollow folks as I'm selective about who I friend in the first place. The political climate has created extreme passion on all sides and while I SMH often at what others are willing to post publicly, I've just decided it's not my place to judge/comment/like/hate/other.
I just keep scrolling and go out of my way to avoid the heated discussions!!
I know where you are - it makes me sad at a deep level as it adds to the divide I feel in our nation. I will not contribute for any reason at any time.
I went through something like this with a friend of mine. Limits are limits. Very very difficult. I lost the friendship. I reinforced my boundaries.
((Jen)) you are not alone-
Kenny
Great post as I am sure more of us have been drawn to this carp...lol. Sick sick people showing more need for recovery. (((hugs)))
OMG....this made me chuckle out loud....it is the animal and kid pictures and videos that I enjoy the most!!!
Such a great post reminding me of one of the biggest reasons I came to Al-anon... people don't act the way I want them to act, lol
Alcoholic or otherwise, there are ALWAYS going to be elephants in the room.... and my values will always be challenged. I'm no longer on Facebook (as an amends to myself) but it's impossible to escape this political climate, particularly at work.
I feel grateful for the daily discipline of Al-anon... of watching myself... at ME being triggered... my attitudes and reactions... even the discomfort in the practice of patience.
But your post especially reminds me of step three... at how I can make the decision to turn my will and my life over to God's care... I can make the decision to let God be the director of the show... I can become willing to change. Yet how often I can say, "Your Will be done, but not THIS!!!"
Not sure of your exact experience, just noticing the title of your post includes the word "hate." For me, Higher Power is never in support of hate. The 12th step to me, is about serving God alone. so do I simply detach to keep myself cozy? or is my experience more about responsibility (ability to respond.)
One of the greatest challenges in my recovery has been how to use my God-given voice... do I speak up? or say less? They always told me if I have trouble on a step, to back up and work on the previous step. I do know this from personal experience, courage is the opposite of "cozy."
I am grateful for your thought-provoking post as I can totally relate to these spiritual challenges. More convinced than ever that nothing in God's world happens by mistake.
-- Edited by 2HP on Saturday 14th of January 2017 06:18:21 PM
-- Edited by 2HP on Sunday 15th of January 2017 03:56:40 PM