Depression- I feel like it's a cycle and that I just run out of energy..
Helpangel said
Jan 9, 2017
hi everyone.
I have been trying to follow the steps and take care of me but sometimes I feel like my energy is completly taken from me. I can barely get motivated to do anything. I'll get up to do what I have to do but the rest of the time I just want to watch tv. It's weird but I have noticed that it is pattern with me. I'll go and go and go and then just crash and when I mean crash. I was thinking was I not keeping the focus on me- no am I upset with what my 90 day recovering ah acts and says? No more than normal so why am I feeling like this?? Trying to find my motivation again and man is it hard sometimes. I think the disappointments add up and even though I'm just doing my thing in spite of what my ah does I think I get to a point where I can't help but be affected. Not sure if this makes sense.. We have been going to counseling for so long and I have been trying to ignore so much and just worry about my side of the street but sometimes his sleeping all the time, moodiness, laziness, and moody stuff does bug me. I keep wondering should if I leave him would I be able to rid this depression once and for all? if he wasn't in my life? Would my daughter be ok with it? Meetings are hard to get to bc of daycare and I don't trust him with my daughter. Sometimes he nice sometimes so moody... He wakes up and starts yelling at the animals or my daughter sometimes over a fish, getting mad because she wants some chocolate he has. Then I wonder if I'm over sensitive about it. Then other times he is super sweet to her. Any advice on how to handle the depression would be great. I keep saying go workout go... Get off the coach and it feels like lead is just in me and won't ease up. I don't think I want this anymore but I don't know how to break it all apart. I don't like the sober him, I kept thinking if he got sober everything would be ok but I don't like him...I realize that I am just as alone as when he was drinking.
hotrod said
Jan 9, 2017
Hi Helpangel I found that it was extremely important to break the isolations caused by living with the disease Meetings did that for me. I know it is hard for you to attend face to face meetingshowever We do have online meetings that are terrific and here is the schedule
Meetings 9 AM EST Mon-Fri 9 PM EST Mon-Sat 10 AM EST Sat & Sun 7 PM EST Sunday
el-cee said
Jan 9, 2017
I can so relate to all you share here. I was sorry exactly the same. The whole confusion lethargy depression. This is alcoholism. You are effected by alcoholism. The only solution I found was at meetings and working this program but I was ready. I had completely surrendered. I got sick enough of being sick. I was spending my life lying down just like you. The living dead that was me. I got to the point where I had no more ideas or solutions. I ran out of justifications and reasons and excuses. I hope you get to that point. My life depended on it.
Iamhere said
Jan 9, 2017
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers helpangel....I cycle at times but it's gotten better for me by having a daily routine. It's not super complicated but I was in desperate need of 'new habits' and 'new patterns' and I try to create a healthy routine and be consistent as possible.
I'm with Betty - I have meetings I attend 3 days each week and then other things I do other days - I have planned program activities each day. I have planned exercise things I do each day. I have planned chores I do each week. I'm one who just does so much better with structure. I also plan my fun time/activities as idle hands/mind for me is not always great...
HTH - (((Hugs)))...
a4l said
Jan 9, 2017
Sending happy thoughts love, i could have written that myself several times in my life. Hang in there.
hi everyone.
I have been trying to follow the steps and take care of me but sometimes I feel like my energy is completly taken from me. I can barely get motivated to do anything. I'll get up to do what I have to do but the rest of the time I just want to watch tv. It's weird but I have noticed that it is pattern with me. I'll go and go and go and then just crash and when I mean crash. I was thinking was I not keeping the focus on me- no am I upset with what my 90 day recovering ah acts and says? No more than normal so why am I feeling like this?? Trying to find my motivation again and man is it hard sometimes. I think the disappointments add up and even though I'm just doing my thing in spite of what my ah does I think I get to a point where I can't help but be affected. Not sure if this makes sense.. We have been going to counseling for so long and I have been trying to ignore so much and just worry about my side of the street but sometimes his sleeping all the time, moodiness, laziness, and moody stuff does bug me. I keep wondering should if I leave him would I be able to rid this depression once and for all? if he wasn't in my life? Would my daughter be ok with it? Meetings are hard to get to bc of daycare and I don't trust him with my daughter. Sometimes he nice sometimes so moody... He wakes up and starts yelling at the animals or my daughter sometimes over a fish, getting mad because she wants some chocolate he has. Then I wonder if I'm over sensitive about it. Then other times he is super sweet to her. Any advice on how to handle the depression would be great. I keep saying go workout go... Get off the coach and it feels like lead is just in me and won't ease up. I don't think I want this anymore but I don't know how to break it all apart. I don't like the sober him, I kept thinking if he got sober everything would be ok but I don't like him...I realize that I am just as alone as when he was drinking.
Hi Helpangel I found that it was extremely important to break the isolations caused by living with the disease Meetings did that for me. I know it is hard for you to attend face to face meetingshowever We do have online meetings that are terrific and here is the schedule
http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html
Al-Anon Family Group
Meeting/Chat Room
Meetings
9 AM EST Mon-Fri
9 PM EST Mon-Sat
10 AM EST Sat & Sun
7 PM EST Sunday
I'm with Betty - I have meetings I attend 3 days each week and then other things I do other days - I have planned program activities each day. I have planned exercise things I do each day. I have planned chores I do each week. I'm one who just does so much better with structure. I also plan my fun time/activities as idle hands/mind for me is not always great...
HTH - (((Hugs)))...