I am struggling to deal with my husband's drinking especially since my Mother has recently placed in a convalescent care facility. I am needing support to get through this ordeal, however instead of that I have a belligerent drunk man to cope with when I get home from visiting her. Both his parent's were alcoholics and have passed in the last 5 years. I don't even want to come home anymore because of the yelling and throwing of things - this is quite simply beyond me. Any coping skills or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Natrow said
Jan 8, 2017
Sorry you're going through this Louise. Sounds like you have a lot going on right now.
Al Anon is really helping me. Also some gentle reading around codependency and how to look after myself amongst all the confusion and hurt.
If you can find a local Al Anon meeting to go to they can be a real eye-opener. It takes time but every baby step helps.
I think we are all so different in what we need in order to feel a little better, but Al Anon is helping me work out how to identify these things or at least skills in how to keep bringing my attention back to myself so I can face difficult situations involving others with a little bit more strength and perspective! That ends up benefiting everyone!
Hope that makes sense. Best of luck.
I'm learning a little more each day.
Iamhere said
Jan 8, 2017
Welcome to MIP Louise - glad you found us and glad that you shared. I'm so sorry for the stress and craziness you are experiencing....also for your mother.
Al-Anon is a recovery program for friends and family of those who drink too much. Most communities have local meetings - I recommend you try to attend a few to get a feel for it. Truly in Al-Anon is where I found others who really understood how challenging it is to live with or love an alcoholic.
Please keep coming back here too - there is hope and help in recovery!
Freetime said
Jan 8, 2017
Hi Louise. Natrow and Iamhere have already shared wonderful information. I just wanted to add one thing, since you mentioned belligerence and throwing things.
The first order of business is to make sure you are safe. If you don't feel safe, even if you have a suspicion you could be hurt, call a domestic violence hotline for advice. Or just get to a safe place and figure out the rest later. I found it helpful to have a "go bag" packed in my car, even though I never needed it on an emergency basis.
I understand the fear and feelings of being overwhelmed and hating to be in my own home. Your health, safety, and serenity come first. You are not alone.
-- Edited by Freetime on Sunday 8th of January 2017 08:04:41 PM
I am struggling to deal with my husband's drinking especially since my Mother has recently placed in a convalescent care facility. I am needing support to get through this ordeal, however instead of that I have a belligerent drunk man to cope with when I get home from visiting her. Both his parent's were alcoholics and have passed in the last 5 years. I don't even want to come home anymore because of the yelling and throwing of things - this is quite simply beyond me. Any coping skills or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Al Anon is really helping me. Also some gentle reading around codependency and how to look after myself amongst all the confusion and hurt.
If you can find a local Al Anon meeting to go to they can be a real eye-opener. It takes time but every baby step helps.
I think we are all so different in what we need in order to feel a little better, but Al Anon is helping me work out how to identify these things or at least skills in how to keep bringing my attention back to myself so I can face difficult situations involving others with a little bit more strength and perspective! That ends up benefiting everyone!
Hope that makes sense. Best of luck.
I'm learning a little more each day.
Al-Anon is a recovery program for friends and family of those who drink too much. Most communities have local meetings - I recommend you try to attend a few to get a feel for it. Truly in Al-Anon is where I found others who really understood how challenging it is to live with or love an alcoholic.
Please keep coming back here too - there is hope and help in recovery!
Hi Louise. Natrow and Iamhere have already shared wonderful information. I just wanted to add one thing, since you mentioned belligerence and throwing things.
The first order of business is to make sure you are safe. If you don't feel safe, even if you have a suspicion you could be hurt, call a domestic violence hotline for advice. Or just get to a safe place and figure out the rest later. I found it helpful to have a "go bag" packed in my car, even though I never needed it on an emergency basis.
I understand the fear and feelings of being overwhelmed and hating to be in my own home. Your health, safety, and serenity come first. You are not alone.
-- Edited by Freetime on Sunday 8th of January 2017 08:04:41 PM