Hello, checking in. Partner has been sober since Christmas Eve.
jitsuka said
Jan 4, 2017
Hi everyone
The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years - I have no idea about her early life but has been using it as a crutch for social anxiety (she's also recently been clinically diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome). I know for sure that she's been drinking a lot (vodka) 'secretly' in the bedroom for years, at least 5-6. We've been together 11 years, have a 9 year old daughter.
If it wasn't for daughter I would have walked years ago.
I don't really have any feelings that I can think of, most days I just feel numb really. I've taken care of myself over the last couple of years, it's been a long time since I've been to a face-to-face meeting. Over this year I've been really concentrating on my physical health to improve that. Physically I'm in great shape now, but mentally I'm a bit all over the place.
She's been sober since Christmas Eve which is the longest she's not had a drink - previously the longest has been about 2 days. So that's a major achievement, however, I don't have any excitement, just waiting for the inevitable drinking to start again when we go back to work next week.
We've all been really ill over this holiday period - I've had a couple of cases of bad flu-like symptoms for most of December, partner was basically stuck in bed for 3 days over christmas. We'll see how things go.
I just feel tired of it all really.
Hope everyone is OK out there.
hotrod said
Jan 4, 2017
Thanks for the update Jitsuka. I am pleased that you have been taking care of yourself physically. I would like to suggest that you dig up your alanon meeting schedule and begin to attend once again . Your spiritual and emotional recovery is extremely important.
Keep coming back here as well.
jitsuka said
Jan 4, 2017
hotrod wrote:
Thanks for the update Jitsuka. I am pleased that you have been taking care of yourself physically. I would like to suggest that you dig up your alanon meeting schedule and begin to attend once again . Your spiritual and emotional recovery is extremely important.
Keep coming back here as well.
Hi hotrod
Most definitely, that's what I hope to do.
I do feel really quite emotionally and spiritually drained and dull inside, it's not good. :(
x
hotrod said
Jan 4, 2017
Great
jitsuka said
Jan 4, 2017
Also to add that I didn't really drink all that much over Christmas, what with recovering from the last bit of illness I really didn't feel like it.
I also sustained a rib-muscle injury (most likely from all the intense racking coughing I was doing - the sort of coughing were you are basically bent over double and just cough cough cough), so been waiting for that to heal before doing any physical stuff.
As well as my martial arts activities I've taken up doing a park-run on a Sunday morning, I've not done any sort of distance running since I was a kid - found this one totally by accident and it's all free, run by volunteers. Started doing a 5km run (my time is 26min 20s, not too shabby for a 44 year old!) and it feels really good. My partner started doing the run as well, she's put on quite a bit of weight and wants to shift it.
Good news is that I've decided to do 'dry January' where you don't drink for January. My last drink was on new years eve and I think it will be a really positive thing to do.
In the last few months I've noticed my own drinking has been increasing, and I've noticed that it's not having the same effect - I'm building up tolerance. Not good. This has mirrored the unhappiness I feel emotionally and spiritually, and alcohol certainly ain't gonna help that!
I feel really good for not drinking, sleeping better etc. I don't want to drink friday night - do a Jitsu class on a Saturday and feel 'urgh' from booze, then drink again Saturday night and then feel 'urgh' doing a park-run on a Sunday morning.
So here goes!
Iamhere said
Jan 4, 2017
Hey Jitsuka - thanks for stopping in with an update! Sending you positive thoughts and tons of prayers! I too was sick over the holiday and it was NOT FUN....I am still a bit drained but I can so relate to the coughing you speak of! I missed tons of sleep for that and it was so draining.
Keep coming back - one day at a time - always works so well for me!!! (((Hugs)))
el-cee said
Jan 6, 2017
Being tired ot it was the best place to start for me. We dont make changes until we get sick of being sick. I suggest making meetings your top priority.
jitsuka said
Jan 7, 2017
el-cee wrote:
Being tired ot it was the best place to start for me. We dont make changes until we get sick of being sick. I suggest making meetings your top priority.
Thanks
Anyway, as expected she started drinking again yesterday and has been drinking again tonight.
Hi everyone
The A in my life is my partner, she's been drinking for years - I have no idea about her early life but has been using it as a crutch for social anxiety (she's also recently been clinically diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome). I know for sure that she's been drinking a lot (vodka) 'secretly' in the bedroom for years, at least 5-6. We've been together 11 years, have a 9 year old daughter.
If it wasn't for daughter I would have walked years ago.
I don't really have any feelings that I can think of, most days I just feel numb really. I've taken care of myself over the last couple of years, it's been a long time since I've been to a face-to-face meeting. Over this year I've been really concentrating on my physical health to improve that. Physically I'm in great shape now, but mentally I'm a bit all over the place.
She's been sober since Christmas Eve which is the longest she's not had a drink - previously the longest has been about 2 days. So that's a major achievement, however, I don't have any excitement, just waiting for the inevitable drinking to start again when we go back to work next week.
We've all been really ill over this holiday period - I've had a couple of cases of bad flu-like symptoms for most of December, partner was basically stuck in bed for 3 days over christmas. We'll see how things go.
I just feel tired of it all really.
Hope everyone is OK out there.
Thanks for the update Jitsuka. I am pleased that you have been taking care of yourself physically. I would like to suggest that you dig up your alanon meeting schedule and begin to attend once again . Your spiritual and emotional recovery is extremely important.
Keep coming back here as well.
Hi hotrod
Most definitely, that's what I hope to do.
I do feel really quite emotionally and spiritually drained and dull inside, it's not good. :(
x
Great
I also sustained a rib-muscle injury (most likely from all the intense racking coughing I was doing - the sort of coughing were you are basically bent over double and just cough cough cough), so been waiting for that to heal before doing any physical stuff.
As well as my martial arts activities I've taken up doing a park-run on a Sunday morning, I've not done any sort of distance running since I was a kid - found this one totally by accident and it's all free, run by volunteers. Started doing a 5km run (my time is 26min 20s, not too shabby for a 44 year old!) and it feels really good. My partner started doing the run as well, she's put on quite a bit of weight and wants to shift it.
Good news is that I've decided to do 'dry January' where you don't drink for January. My last drink was on new years eve and I think it will be a really positive thing to do.
In the last few months I've noticed my own drinking has been increasing, and I've noticed that it's not having the same effect - I'm building up tolerance. Not good. This has mirrored the unhappiness I feel emotionally and spiritually, and alcohol certainly ain't gonna help that!
I feel really good for not drinking, sleeping better etc. I don't want to drink friday night - do a Jitsu class on a Saturday and feel 'urgh' from booze, then drink again Saturday night and then feel 'urgh' doing a park-run on a Sunday morning.
So here goes!
Keep coming back - one day at a time - always works so well for me!!! (((Hugs)))
Being tired ot it was the best place to start for me. We dont make changes until we get sick of being sick. I suggest making meetings your top priority.
Thanks
Anyway, as expected she started drinking again yesterday and has been drinking again tonight.
* sigh *