My relationship with a guy that i thought was the love of my life ended 4 months ago, but i still can't seem to let go of it. I still want him back, the background story is very long and it hurts my heart to talk about it, but long story short i want to get back with this man but everyone is telling me to let go of him. I have been trying so hard to not contact him, but i finally sent him an email this past Monday, and he never replied to me. I felt so s***y about it afterwards, i felt like i let myself down, but at the same time I do not want to let go of him. I honestly felt so s***ty that i made myself feel sick, called into work and told them I was sick, left work early Wednesday and called in today again. I just feel like I don't even know, I am mad at myself for writing to him and mad at him bc he did not react the way i wanted him too, which was answer my email. I was doing just fine but the freaking holidays made me miss him so much more.
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 29th of December 2016 11:42:39 PM
Jerry F said
Dec 29, 2016
Aloha Maggie and welcome to the board. Depression is a wide subject and was for me more than now. I went to work on it hard and long and with the help of my VA counselor learned one description of it was "Anger turned inward" so after searching long and hard and working the subject with other professionals I learned how to diminish its power over me and change the stories it was try to get me to buy. So much of depression for me is about fear which isn't about facts mostly fantasy that my head uses for a "poor me" condition. I don't like the poor me condition because I tend to bring down others with it also and it sucks. I use to let it control me to the point where I would turn a worry into a war of the worlds...no more. I use detachment and surrender to help me out of the condition as soon as I recognize it is here. Let go and Let God and keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
hotrod said
Dec 29, 2016
Hi Maggie Welcome -- You are not alone Please search out alanon face to face meetings that are held in most communities and attend. The hotline number is in the white pages. There is hope and help
SerenityRUS said
Dec 30, 2016
Hi and welcome .. I'm going to challenge you to really think about what you are getting out of chasing a man who is sending a clear message he's not into you. I apologize if that sounds harsh not where I'm coming from .. Seriously though why do you think so little of yourself that you want someone who will only bring crumbs of emotional wants to the table while you are starving. Then stepping back looking at yourself in the mirror .. Why do you think you deserve less than the full banquet?? What really is your depression about? Loneliness? Lack of self esteem? The past crashing into the future? I hope u will attend some Alanon meetings and find out about you while leaving the thoughts of the hims I do mean any hims aside. I learned to fill my own cup before seeking relationships with others. It has been a long process and I'm still learning. Keep coming back. Hugs S ;)
Iamhere said
Dec 30, 2016
I too send warm welcomes to you - glad you found us here at MIP and glad that you joined in and shared. I can't pretend to understand the workings of depression and am sorry that you are where you are. I'm sending you positive thoughts and prayers - we all deserve to be happy, joyous and free - one day at a time.
Keep coming back - you are not alone.
Maggie91 said
Jan 2, 2017
Thank you all for the advices and for taking the time to write back, I am having a hard time with lots of things at the moment and him not being here makes it worse for me. But hopefully I will get out this funk soon. I used to attend in person meetings but my car broke soo I have been stuck at home, I know things will be better when i let go and let God.
Maggie91 said
Jan 2, 2017
Thank you soo much, sometimes being harsh is the best way to get someone to understand things.
Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.
Night Meetings
Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time
Sunday 7PM eastern time
MomInMo said
Jan 2, 2017
Seriously, I'm going through the same thing kind of. I think I just need more meetings, more reading, more understanding. I deserve full live from someone, not crumbs. Some reading I've done lately says it's about fear of being alone and looking for happiness in others. I agree, but I don't know yet how to fix that. Plus, celebacy really, really stinks. Really. But, it is what it is. I'm too old for one night stands, lol.
My relationship with a guy that i thought was the love of my life ended 4 months ago, but i still can't seem to let go of it. I still want him back, the background story is very long and it hurts my heart to talk about it, but long story short i want to get back with this man but everyone is telling me to let go of him. I have been trying so hard to not contact him, but i finally sent him an email this past Monday, and he never replied to me. I felt so s***y about it afterwards, i felt like i let myself down, but at the same time I do not want to let go of him. I honestly felt so s***ty that i made myself feel sick, called into work and told them I was sick, left work early Wednesday and called in today again. I just feel like I don't even know, I am mad at myself for writing to him and mad at him bc he did not react the way i wanted him too, which was answer my email. I was doing just fine but the freaking holidays made me miss him so much more.
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 29th of December 2016 11:42:39 PM
Aloha Maggie and welcome to the board. Depression is a wide subject and was for me more than now. I went to work on it hard and long and with the help of my VA counselor learned one description of it was "Anger turned inward" so after searching long and hard and working the subject with other professionals I learned how to diminish its power over me and change the stories it was try to get me to buy. So much of depression for me is about fear which isn't about facts mostly fantasy that my head uses for a "poor me" condition. I don't like the poor me condition because I tend to bring down others with it also and it sucks. I use to let it control me to the point where I would turn a worry into a war of the worlds...no more. I use detachment and surrender to help me out of the condition as soon as I recognize it is here. Let go and Let God and keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Keep coming back - you are not alone.
Thank you soo much, sometimes being harsh is the best way to get someone to understand things.
We have on line meetings here - Here is the link and schedule
www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html
Morning Meetings
Mon. - Fri. at 9am EST
Sat. - Sun at 10am EST
Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.
Night Meetings
Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time
Sunday 7PM eastern time