Today's reading discusses all those times when the actions of the alcoholic are so very irritating. It points that even the alcoholic can not pour the cereal correctly! While our recovery program shows us how to protect ourselves from unacceptable behavior, that's not always what is going on around us...
When we catch ourselves watching and criticizing every little detail of their behavior, we can use this as a sign that something is going on with us that has been missed or discounted. Could it be caused by work? Did something at a meeting trigger unresolved anger from the past? Am I acting this way because of an old resentment I have not discussed? Using the phone to contact a sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help talk/sort any of these out.
Today's reminder --- It can be almost as hard for ME to give up criticizing as it is for the alcoholic to give up drinking --- sometimes, it seems so necessary! But though criticism and negative thinking can serve as a steam valve for my pain, they never solve my problems, only distract me from them. In the end, I only avoid getting to know myself.
Today's quote --- "A man can detect a speck in another's hair, but can't see the flies on his own nose." ~~ Mendele Mocher Seiorim
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This rings so true for me - there are times when I am caught off guard and processing negatively. In my journey, this is a recipe for loosing focus on my recovery and my path. I can become critical of those around me, and begin to fall back into the same thinking and processing that brought me here in the first place. The only answer I've found that right-sizes me and brings me back to center is this program, the tools and other's who love me enough to listen and share their own ESH.
I am grateful that I can get off that crazy-train at any point I decide to pick up tools and use them. I am grateful that today I can better prepare for situations and events that used to trigger me into negative patterns and negative thinking. Changing me as best I can one day at a time helps me be of service to myself and others. So, so grateful for our fellowship and the journey we are all on.
I dropped my parents off at the airport this morning and they are headed home. This is always a bittersweet time for me - grateful to have my life/routine back yet sad as I wonder when I will see them again. I am hopeful today will be a peaceful productive day for me and for all of you too!
(((Hugs)))
hotrod said
Dec 29, 2016
Iamhere wrote:"But though criticism and negative thinking can serve as a steam valve for my pain, they never solve my problems, only distract me from them. In the end, I only avoid getting to know myself."
The above is oh so true. I would distract myself from my own worry and fear by focusing on others and judging them . I agree it never did solve my problems but it helped me to live in denial of my reality.
Finding alanon and learning new tools to live by, helped me to let go of judgment and criticism. I finally understood that by keeping the focus on myself and learning to trust a Higher Power ,I could accept life on life's terms knowing that no matter what happened I could face it with courage, serenity and wisdom and I did. Fear was lifted and I could be a supportive and compassionate friend and family member. Thank you alanon
Thanks for your service IAH Have a lovely day
Calm Lady said
Jan 1, 2017
Oh my, a big yes to this. Insane focus on fault picking others to distract me from sorting out my own stuff.
I became aware I used me being with an A spouse to excuse myself from being rubbish myself. To avoid me having to raise my own standards of behaviour.
While I am busy judging others, I am not doing what I need to do. Focus on myself.
Today's reading discusses all those times when the actions of the alcoholic are so very irritating. It points that even the alcoholic can not pour the cereal correctly! While our recovery program shows us how to protect ourselves from unacceptable behavior, that's not always what is going on around us...
When we catch ourselves watching and criticizing every little detail of their behavior, we can use this as a sign that something is going on with us that has been missed or discounted. Could it be caused by work? Did something at a meeting trigger unresolved anger from the past? Am I acting this way because of an old resentment I have not discussed? Using the phone to contact a sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help talk/sort any of these out.
Today's reminder --- It can be almost as hard for ME to give up criticizing as it is for the alcoholic to give up drinking --- sometimes, it seems so necessary! But though criticism and negative thinking can serve as a steam valve for my pain, they never solve my problems, only distract me from them. In the end, I only avoid getting to know myself.
Today's quote --- "A man can detect a speck in another's hair, but can't see the flies on his own nose." ~~ Mendele Mocher Seiorim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This rings so true for me - there are times when I am caught off guard and processing negatively. In my journey, this is a recipe for loosing focus on my recovery and my path. I can become critical of those around me, and begin to fall back into the same thinking and processing that brought me here in the first place. The only answer I've found that right-sizes me and brings me back to center is this program, the tools and other's who love me enough to listen and share their own ESH.
I am grateful that I can get off that crazy-train at any point I decide to pick up tools and use them. I am grateful that today I can better prepare for situations and events that used to trigger me into negative patterns and negative thinking. Changing me as best I can one day at a time helps me be of service to myself and others. So, so grateful for our fellowship and the journey we are all on.
I dropped my parents off at the airport this morning and they are headed home. This is always a bittersweet time for me - grateful to have my life/routine back yet sad as I wonder when I will see them again. I am hopeful today will be a peaceful productive day for me and for all of you too!
(((Hugs)))
I became aware I used me being with an A spouse to excuse myself from being rubbish myself. To avoid me having to raise my own standards of behaviour.
While I am busy judging others, I am not doing what I need to do. Focus on myself.