I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution...
A couple things came into mind for me,
Solution for alcoholism,
!. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me
2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking, venting, or behaviors of the alcoholic
3. Read al-anon messages to get clarity
4. Go to another room to get away from the alcoholic if becomes unbearable and if must leave the house (I did that last week, and spend the night elsewhere as the alcoholic was drinking and I knew from past experience, it would be a sleepless night, he would follow me around the house, harass, verbally abuse me, call me down, ect)
5. Stand up for self..and say it in a firm and nice way, (I do not agree with that statement, idea, belief, and that is what you think and change subject)
6. Do not be the alcoholic venting board...he can find someone that is safe to talk to..you are not the only one in the world to talk with
7. Keep busy doing what makes you happy...
8. Journal your feelings so it does not build up
9. Exercise, go the gym, cook, clean, do something physical...to release the anger
10. Come on line here and read or go to a Al-Anon or AA meeting to gain clarity
11. Focus on breathing...and know this will pass, despite how bad it appears
12. Every drink the alcoholic takes is one step closer to their bottom...let them gave the drink and suffer consequences of it...Have another drink, I do not care...
13. Have a positive attitude and be grateful, your not in the the alcoholics shoes...and be grateful for what is going good in your life today
14. Focus on the moment and let the future worry about itself
15. Its not your problem...focus on self and what can do..
16. Know I have choices...I can stay with the active alcoholic for the moment and leave the house if he becomes intolerable...I can leave, yes, I can leave for the night, day, hour...and then come back later If I want
17. Have a mind set that what you do is your business, and what i do is my business... you are not my boss, my god. You are my friend and if you can not be a friend, well then maybe you should not be in my life
18. The alcoholic is a shell of what they were and could be. They are incapable of giving to anyone, including themselves...so do not expect anything from them. Do it yourself and get your own love, respect compassion elsewhere
If others can add to this list it would be great!
KT2015 said
Dec 12, 2016
Hand the alcoholic over to my HP and move on with my day (repeat as often as needed).
hotrod said
Dec 12, 2016
Great program reminders--Thanks Joker
Maresie25 said
Dec 12, 2016
I know for me when I refuse to step in it is gratifying. Sometimes that was very difficult because it was around bills like the electric, the phone. At certain points I have to step back rather than step in.
I know at certain points that was liberating
For me another point is to be aware of my needs. What are my needs. They are every bit as important as everyone else's needs no matter what.
Maresie25
Iamhere said
Dec 12, 2016
My go to slogans or mantras when trying to stay focused are, "Bless Them, Change Me" and "Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done"...
Great list Joker!! I have to keep it simple....it does not take too much for my brain to start over-thinking anything!!!
I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution...
A couple things came into mind for me,
Solution for alcoholism,
!. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me
2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking, venting, or behaviors of the alcoholic
3. Read al-anon messages to get clarity
4. Go to another room to get away from the alcoholic if becomes unbearable and if must leave the house (I did that last week, and spend the night elsewhere as the alcoholic was drinking and I knew from past experience, it would be a sleepless night, he would follow me around the house, harass, verbally abuse me, call me down, ect)
5. Stand up for self..and say it in a firm and nice way, (I do not agree with that statement, idea, belief, and that is what you think and change subject)
6. Do not be the alcoholic venting board...he can find someone that is safe to talk to..you are not the only one in the world to talk with
7. Keep busy doing what makes you happy...
8. Journal your feelings so it does not build up
9. Exercise, go the gym, cook, clean, do something physical...to release the anger
10. Come on line here and read or go to a Al-Anon or AA meeting to gain clarity
11. Focus on breathing...and know this will pass, despite how bad it appears
12. Every drink the alcoholic takes is one step closer to their bottom...let them gave the drink and suffer consequences of it...Have another drink, I do not care...
13. Have a positive attitude and be grateful, your not in the the alcoholics shoes...and be grateful for what is going good in your life today
14. Focus on the moment and let the future worry about itself
15. Its not your problem...focus on self and what can do..
16. Know I have choices...I can stay with the active alcoholic for the moment and leave the house if he becomes intolerable...I can leave, yes, I can leave for the night, day, hour...and then come back later If I want
17. Have a mind set that what you do is your business, and what i do is my business... you are not my boss, my god. You are my friend and if you can not be a friend, well then maybe you should not be in my life
18. The alcoholic is a shell of what they were and could be. They are incapable of giving to anyone, including themselves...so do not expect anything from them. Do it yourself and get your own love, respect compassion elsewhere
If others can add to this list it would be great!
Great program reminders--Thanks Joker
Great list Joker!! I have to keep it simple....it does not take too much for my brain to start over-thinking anything!!!