The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL.
That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to do with no ramifications to anyone else except his children .. UGH .. it is what it is.
I'm having to make a really tough call that could totally backfire on me and I will post more at a later date as in Tuesday based upon the outcome on Monday.
2 weeks ago at my insistence there was a court date that I was told it was a status hearing basically his attorney told my attorney that there would be an agreement in the mail within the two weeks. I let her know I was pissed is putting it mildly. All of a sudden the things that were discussed in July have now changed to two minor changes .. F that! So I called her this Thursday since I haven't heard anything and was told there has been no communication .. so there is court on Monday. I let her know set a court date on Monday I'm done screwing with these people. ALL of them .. I did not speak to my attorney I spoke to the receptionist my attorney doesn't want to speak to me .. LOL! I wasn't told that however that was the message. So .. LOL .. Friday I get a note that states well I messed up on the timeline R is meeting with XAH on Monday at 430PM. Hmm .. the problem with this is that is AFTER court!
So I'm like ok .. whatever .. I'm done.
I'm asking for prayers of clarity of mind, (because I do not look good in prison orange), clarity of thought, clarity of resolve, and clarity of justice. What is my will and what is God's. I truly wish to stay in God's will however I can't tell if it's my will overriding God's or not. Only time is going to tell that one.
What I'm intending to do that I'm praying about could throw a bomb on the proceedings and it could seriously rock everything going forward. So we will see what happens.
I am just going to sit quietly in my own truth and think at the moment.
Anyways, thank you for being here as I struggle through this last part of the journey. I truly love and value each one of you .. I have learned so much from Alanon and the gift of fellowship is not an easy road for me. After all I am caught in the I can do it myself mode and that's what Im trying to make sure that I am not continuing to do.
Hugs S :)
hotrod said
Dec 10, 2016
((Serenity)) positive thoughts and prayers on the way
Iamhere said
Dec 10, 2016
(((Serenity))) - I too am sending you positive thoughts and tons of prayers. In spite of me getting in the way at times, my HP still carries me through the muckity yuckity that this disease brings. Huge (((hugs))) too girl.
andromeda said
Dec 10, 2016
I swear it never ends for you, my friend! SO sorry, but sending positive prayers and lots of hugs your way!
And, I have to say that you definitely wouldn't look good in prison orange!
Jerry F said
Dec 10, 2016
That sounded truly insane and I know what insane is for me. Divorce is a contention event processed with others who are not being divorced and making the decisions...judges and lawyers. When my alcoholic/addict and I divorced my lawyer asked me "what do you want" and for me it was simple..."a divorce" with nothing hanging on into the future and it didn't work out that way. I told him up front "we are dealing with the disease of alcoholism and that includes insanity. At one point the cost of the divorce was brought up and the judge says "I always award the cost to the person who calls the action...there for Mr. F (me) will pay". I objected sternly as my A/A was the one who call the action and my lawyer told me to be quiet or I would be held in contempt. My lawyer had already asked me relating to some insanity that was happening in the hearing "is this what you were talking about alcoholism"? I replied "yes" and then we continue with the insanity. The moral issue is...DON'T MARRY A CHEMICALLY ADDICTED PERSON.... got it? good!! ((((hugs))))
Green Eyes said
Dec 13, 2016
Yes, but Jerry, what if you marry them not knowing that 25 years later they would start binge drinking and slowing drinking themselves to death? Just sayin'....
SerenityRUS said
Dec 13, 2016
I agree there is no way to know with certainty since addiction is insanity .. It knows no demographics, race, sexual orientation, or religion. I would not want to choose this direction again .. Then again I wouldn't be blessed with my kids had it not been for my Xah so go figure. Lol.
Jerry F said
Dec 13, 2016
That's in large part my story Green eyes...being in the disease and living with it and marrying alcoholics and addicts and drinking with them also was natural to me...I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know about the disease of alcoholism...I went to college including Al-Anon and AA to come to an understanding. My Higher Power worked the miracle that I am today and it was truly astounding!! That was my HP's will and staying in and working our program of recovery is my life extending will today.
My morning prayers to my HP is "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". There isn't much ceremony to my praying today cause my HP has told me to Keep it short and Keep it simple. HP is with us right now...I don't gotta make believe or yell.
If your will is HP's will what you are doing is love. ((((hugs))))
When I first felt Powerlessness in my gut and knew what it was I also knew that HP felt it also what happens, happens you do the best you can with love for as long as you're able and then with self love you/I turn them over you lift the alcoholic high above your head to your Higher Power and when you bring your hands back down they are empty. When I do that and the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual burden is no longer I chant "Free at last, Free at last....Thank GOD I'm free at last".
SerenityRUS said
Dec 13, 2016
I decided to do a crazy road trip for a status hearing which is basically nothing except two attorneys going before the judge to say no progress or progress made. I wish you could have seen the look on my attorneys face and that of XAH's attorney. Lol .. Priceless speaks volumes. Judge set a date at my request to my attorney. I found more money another 8k which will be tacked on to my XAH's total that he owes me. Good thing he's got a job. If it's not resolved before the court date I will be present to be sure out happens. Ironically this will end 2 years almost to the day that I signed the divorce decree in question. I seriously ruffled feathers in a very big way. My attorney is pissed .. His attorney is pooping his pants and my XAH has decided that him delaying further will cost him more and more money. Actually at the advice of his attorney I assume he has been told to stop pissing me off and to sign before that number doubles. They do not want me showing up further. Not a wasted trip.
el-cee said
Dec 13, 2016
Hope you don't mind serenity but I wanted to reply to Jerry's reply to you. I think the way you explain gods will and how you keep it simple is just what I needed to read. God's will is all about love simple as that and anything else is our own will and for me I have a life time of evidence that my will takes me far away from serenity or peace. The idea of holding up and giving to God the alcohol in my life is powerful and I'm going to do that and I'm going to feel the freedom in that too. Thanks for the topic and thanks for sharing your awesome wisdom Jerry. So glad your here x
Iamhere said
Dec 13, 2016
Serenity - positive thoughts and prayers continue for you and all....crazy road trips at times make sense!!
MeTwo2 said
Dec 16, 2016
If your will is HP's will what you are doing is love. ((((hugs))))
The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL.
That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to do with no ramifications to anyone else except his children .. UGH .. it is what it is.
I'm having to make a really tough call that could totally backfire on me and I will post more at a later date as in Tuesday based upon the outcome on Monday.
2 weeks ago at my insistence there was a court date that I was told it was a status hearing basically his attorney told my attorney that there would be an agreement in the mail within the two weeks. I let her know I was pissed is putting it mildly. All of a sudden the things that were discussed in July have now changed to two minor changes .. F that! So I called her this Thursday since I haven't heard anything and was told there has been no communication .. so there is court on Monday. I let her know set a court date on Monday I'm done screwing with these people. ALL of them .. I did not speak to my attorney I spoke to the receptionist my attorney doesn't want to speak to me .. LOL! I wasn't told that however that was the message. So .. LOL .. Friday I get a note that states well I messed up on the timeline R is meeting with XAH on Monday at 430PM. Hmm .. the problem with this is that is AFTER court!
So I'm like ok .. whatever .. I'm done.
I'm asking for prayers of clarity of mind, (because I do not look good in prison orange), clarity of thought, clarity of resolve, and clarity of justice. What is my will and what is God's. I truly wish to stay in God's will however I can't tell if it's my will overriding God's or not. Only time is going to tell that one.
What I'm intending to do that I'm praying about could throw a bomb on the proceedings and it could seriously rock everything going forward. So we will see what happens.
I am just going to sit quietly in my own truth and think at the moment.
Anyways, thank you for being here as I struggle through this last part of the journey. I truly love and value each one of you .. I have learned so much from Alanon and the gift of fellowship is not an easy road for me. After all I am caught in the I can do it myself mode and that's what Im trying to make sure that I am not continuing to do.
Hugs S :)
And, I have to say that you definitely wouldn't look good in prison orange!
That sounded truly insane and I know what insane is for me. Divorce is a contention event processed with others who are not being divorced and making the decisions...judges and lawyers. When my alcoholic/addict and I divorced my lawyer asked me "what do you want" and for me it was simple..."a divorce" with nothing hanging on into the future and it didn't work out that way. I told him up front "we are dealing with the disease of alcoholism and that includes insanity. At one point the cost of the divorce was brought up and the judge says "I always award the cost to the person who calls the action...there for Mr. F (me) will pay". I objected sternly as my A/A was the one who call the action and my lawyer told me to be quiet or I would be held in contempt. My lawyer had already asked me relating to some insanity that was happening in the hearing "is this what you were talking about alcoholism"? I replied "yes" and then we continue with the insanity. The moral issue is...DON'T MARRY A CHEMICALLY ADDICTED PERSON.... got it? good!! ((((hugs))))
That's in large part my story Green eyes...being in the disease and living with it and marrying alcoholics and addicts and drinking with them also was natural to me...I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know about the disease of alcoholism...I went to college including Al-Anon and AA to come to an understanding. My Higher Power worked the miracle that I am today and it was truly astounding!! That was my HP's will and staying in and working our program of recovery is my life extending will today.
My morning prayers to my HP is "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". There isn't much ceremony to my praying today cause my HP has told me to Keep it short and Keep it simple. HP is with us right now...I don't gotta make believe or yell.
If your will is HP's will what you are doing is love. ((((hugs))))
When I first felt Powerlessness in my gut and knew what it was I also knew that HP felt it also what happens, happens you do the best you can with love for as long as you're able and then with self love you/I turn them over you lift the alcoholic high above your head to your Higher Power and when you bring your hands back down they are empty. When I do that and the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual burden is no longer I chant "Free at last, Free at last....Thank GOD I'm free at last".
Jerry Ty .. ! priceless ..