Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's going to meet some friends for a couple beers, and I just know it's going to be another sleepless night. He usually doesn't come home till 5-6-7, or as late as 10 am. He doesn't answer his phone or texts. He loses chunks of time, comes home with unexplained physical injuries, and/or loses things (keys, wallet, phone, jacket). Then we fight throughout the weekend and by Sunday he agrees that what he's doing is inappropriate, and we go on with the week - happy. Then the weekend comes again. There are times when the cycle skips a weekend or two and I get excited that we are making progress, but sure enough, the cycle repeats itself. I am not willing to leave him, but I am realizing that I cannot help him. Is it possible for him to become a moderate drinker, or is that just wishful thinking??

Welcome to MIP Kristy66 - glad you found us and glad that you shared. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and truly can manifest differently in each person. There's no right/wrong answer as far as moderation - I've seen some able, but most not.

You mention a meeting - I think that would be very helpful for you....it is at Al-Anon that I became aware that I was not alone. I could go to meetings, and find others who also were affected by the drinking of another....they were open, honest and never judging me! It was refreshing and gave me a platform to begin to determine what I could control in my life and what I could not.

I encourage you to find a few and attend to see if it's for you. We in Al-Anon can practice recovery whether the drinker in our lives is/is not in recovery. I feel restored to a saner place for choosing to recover in my world and I hope the same for you.

You are in the right place - there is hope and help in recover! Keep coming back!

Yep.. that was my life. I could almost guess the days it would happen. It took four years but he finally went to AA. I have definitely learned that nothingggg will get them to go expect themselves. I learned alot in this program. and I didn't make any hasty decisions to leave, but I did have an exit plan in case time went on and he really had no plans to stop. I knew I couldn't live with the binging forever. Its so unpredictable

Hugs and welcome,

Drinking doesn't just go away and there are usually other issues attached, meetings will help you decide what is and is not ok for you and help you untangle from the craziness that is addiction related.

Hugs S :)