I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing.
AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while that may be true, I am also aware that I don't know everything. I can't read his mind. Maybe he wants to hunt, too. It's his life, he gets to chose without me 2nd guessing every move. Shift...
AH asked me to find a business card for him. That was 3 weeks ago and it is still sitting on the table next to him. I have no idea if he ever called the person or not. It's not my business. In the past I would check with him every couple of days if he called the guy. After all, I got the card for him. Again, doesn't concern me. Shift....
AH needed to call his mom and didn't. I could have reminded him 5 times that day, but I never said a word. Wasn't my issue. Shift...
AH never puts in his hearing aids. Instead of repeating and getting aggravated, now I find myself saying, " never mind." Or just not answering, without being judgmental. I just go about my business.
A relative whom I usually find annoying called today. I cut the conversation short and after hanging up, I actually thought, "Bless her. Change me." It was a sincere thought about her and it popped right into my head! Believe me, I would have rehashed that conversation for hours in my head not too long ago. I was able to let go of it.
I still have a very long way to go and I frequently take a step back. However, I think I am really absorbing some of the tools.
Thanks for reading.
Detached said
Dec 2, 2016
What a great share and wonderful progress! I often find myself struggling with my reactions to situations but I'm fairly new in the program. It's shares like these that give me hope! Thanks!
hotrod said
Dec 2, 2016
Thanks for sharing your growth and fantastic awarensss. i can identify and have found myself responding differently often Thanks to HP and this fantastic program
LinSC said
Dec 2, 2016
Pat yourself on the back, this new way of responding is not easy and there is a lot to remember and all your old tools are so ingrained that they don't drop easily. It works when you work it! linsc
serenity47 said
Dec 3, 2016
Great share. Little subtle changes that add up over time. Keep it up.
Mcat54 said
Dec 3, 2016
Hi El, small shifts add up to big movement over time, right? Thanks for sharing the shifts, as you helped me to recognize a few of my own (along with the ones I'm not seeing in my qualifier ). Of course I have many more to make. Cathy
Ps: Drinking and hunting reminds me of a former boyfriend -- that's how we do things here in Texas. LOL.
-- Edited by Mcat54 on Saturday 3rd of December 2016 07:05:15 AM
Iamhere said
Dec 3, 2016
(((El))) - thanks for the great share - love, love, love to hear about progress in recovery....it's these kinds of posts that make me smile deeply and keep coming back. Keep working it girl - it looks great on you!!
YARNCRAZY said
Dec 3, 2016
good job. the more you do it, the easier it gets.
maryjane said
Dec 3, 2016
Thanks for the great share. I noticed the same thing in myself. Small things that were "shifting". I was thinking differently.
e_i_m said
Dec 3, 2016
These seem like big, concrete, meaningful changes, El. This is the program in practice. I was watching a Harry Potter movie the other day and Dumbledore says to Harry something to the effect of "it isn't our abilities that show us who we truly are, it is our choices." Sounds like you're making dignified and loving choices with the help of this wonderful al-anon program.
El said
Dec 4, 2016
Thank you to everyone for your responses! It is worth noting the improvements to see how the program does work. What does Jerry and others say? Practice, practice, practice!
pinkchip said
Dec 4, 2016
Good works!
tiredtonite said
Dec 4, 2016
Thanks for sharing your recovery (((El))) Such great examples of how to earn greater serenity from doing the program. Glad your here with us. Keep coming back. TT
I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing.
AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while that may be true, I am also aware that I don't know everything. I can't read his mind. Maybe he wants to hunt, too. It's his life, he gets to chose without me 2nd guessing every move. Shift...
AH asked me to find a business card for him. That was 3 weeks ago and it is still sitting on the table next to him. I have no idea if he ever called the person or not. It's not my business. In the past I would check with him every couple of days if he called the guy. After all, I got the card for him. Again, doesn't concern me. Shift....
AH needed to call his mom and didn't. I could have reminded him 5 times that day, but I never said a word. Wasn't my issue. Shift...
AH never puts in his hearing aids. Instead of repeating and getting aggravated, now I find myself saying, " never mind." Or just not answering, without being judgmental. I just go about my business.
A relative whom I usually find annoying called today. I cut the conversation short and after hanging up, I actually thought, "Bless her. Change me." It was a sincere thought about her and it popped right into my head! Believe me, I would have rehashed that conversation for hours in my head not too long ago. I was able to let go of it.
I still have a very long way to go and I frequently take a step back. However, I think I am really absorbing some of the tools.
Thanks for reading.
What a great share and wonderful progress! I often find myself struggling with my reactions to situations but I'm fairly new in the program. It's shares like these that give me hope! Thanks!
Pat yourself on the back, this new way of responding is not easy and there is a lot to remember and all your old tools are so ingrained that they don't drop easily. It works when you work it! linsc
Hi El, small shifts add up to big movement over time, right? Thanks for sharing the shifts, as you helped me to recognize a few of my own (along with the ones I'm not seeing in my qualifier
). Of course I have many more to make. Cathy
Ps: Drinking and hunting reminds me of a former boyfriend -- that's how we do things here in Texas. LOL.
-- Edited by Mcat54 on Saturday 3rd of December 2016 07:05:15 AM
Thank you to everyone for your responses! It is worth noting the improvements to see how the program does work. What does Jerry and others say? Practice, practice, practice!
Thanks for sharing your recovery (((El))) Such great examples of how to earn greater serenity from doing the program. Glad your here with us. Keep coming back. TT