Anyone else's A threaten to drink when you say something they don't like? Can't help but feel like I should just sit down and shut up.
Fooled said
Nov 20, 2016
Oh the blame game? Justification to drink...... Mine used to say "You are the reason I drink" after an argument. I would reply "You drink because you are an alcoholic, you find a reason to drink because I no longer support your drinking" and walk away.
Iamhere said
Nov 20, 2016
(((madowl))) - I've been on the receiving end of threats to drink/use.....it's not always been limited to when I say something they don't like. This has happened for a variety of situations and reasons. I tend to just stay quiet as anything I say at this point would most likely cause more drama/chaos.
Al-Anon taught me that I'm not responsible for their actions/words/emotions. I'm only responsible for my own and even if baited, I can choose no response as an option. The program and a sponsor has helped me establish good boundaries and detach from the disease. Keep coming back - I do relate!
Desperateinnyc said
Nov 20, 2016
Omg do not buy into that crap..no my abf has never out and out blamed me for his drinking, but he has somewhat blamed me for not going to his meetings, his IOP etc..which is a freaking joke..I don't even respond..neither should u
madowl86 said
Nov 21, 2016
Thank you. The hard part is I'm not even baiting him. He's always being loud to purposely bother my cat and dogs or makes my beagle bark at him or jokingly act like he's going to smack her. She's been abused so I have repeatedly asked him not to do that but he always says "am I hurting her? No." So last night I was like "look, I'm tired of you torturing my animals" to which he replied that I really need to watch how I word things because it's not torture. "If you want I can go get a 12 pack and things can really pop off."
I can't even have a serious, calm tone in my voice or he thinks I'm attacking him.
Calm Lady said
Nov 22, 2016
Alcoholics drink because they are alcoholics. Its what they do.
Sorry you have this going on. Please take care of yourself.
Suburban Denizen said
Nov 22, 2016
Mine plays a variation of the same game. He says if I don't shape up he will move out or drink. He says he will never take a drink, therefore he will be forced out by my inadequacIRS. He's been sober two years, threatened this for the past 18 months. He's still here.
The whole thing is my fault. I am incredibly self-centered and selfish, and I haven't gotten the program as he expects me to and I'm dragging him down.
Now considering options.
-- Edited by Suburban Denizen on Tuesday 22nd of November 2016 09:33:40 AM
Calm Lady said
Nov 22, 2016
They tend to threaten to leave a lot, in my experience but only actually do so if they already have a new partner lined up.
Dry drunks seem to be far nastier than active drunks, also based on my experience.
Al-Anon taught me that I'm not responsible for their actions/words/emotions. I'm only responsible for my own and even if baited, I can choose no response as an option. The program and a sponsor has helped me establish good boundaries and detach from the disease. Keep coming back - I do relate!
Sorry you have this going on. Please take care of yourself.
Mine plays a variation of the same game. He says if I don't shape up he will move out or drink. He says he will never take a drink, therefore he will be forced out by my inadequacIRS. He's been sober two years, threatened this for the past 18 months. He's still here.
The whole thing is my fault. I am incredibly self-centered and selfish, and I haven't gotten the program as he expects me to and I'm dragging him down.
Now considering options.
-- Edited by Suburban Denizen on Tuesday 22nd of November 2016 09:33:40 AM
Dry drunks seem to be far nastier than active drunks, also based on my experience.