I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuff, but I recently totally let go of it, and there he was calling once I stopped caring). He emailed me mid-day telling me he'd be hanging out at my house til a certain time bc his job got extended. I normally go to an al-anon meeting on Weds afternoons, but in the past, I would skip the meeting (or change any other plans I had) in order to spend time with him. Let's be clear, not because he asked me, because I wanted to -- I wanted him to be the sun and the moon and I would lose my self and abandon whatever I was doing to rush to be with him. I didn't even really think of it this time -- the thought popped into my mind that I could make it home before he left for work, but I was like "absolutely not; what I want to do is go to my meeting." So I went to my meeting (had a great meeting on Step 11) and came home and ate dinner. I didn't expect to see him at all, but he had a break in the job and came up to my house. We had a really good talk and a cup of coffee. He was exactly the same. I had changed in my expectations and my behaviors. I was present in the moment, I was actually engaged in our conversation, not having a whole second imaginary conversation in my head. It was peaceful, and I had serenity, and it was really, really nice. It works when I work it. So grateful for al-anon tools and principles.
hotrod said
Nov 10, 2016
(E.I.M.)) Great share another true Miracle in Progress. :)
el-cee said
Nov 10, 2016
Thanks for sharing this. I believe this is the very essence of our program, everything you share here. The ability to be in the moment, mind body and spirit and just be. To be engaged with another human being within that moment instead of remembering each and every bad thing they ever did or said, or worrying about tomorrow etc. Just to be in the moment and take the person for who they are right then and there. For me this is Gods will, this is how its supposed to be and how much happier are we for it?
Iamhere said
Nov 10, 2016
Love, love, love this share. Agree that you are a miracle in progress! Love that you recognize what's changed is you and that makes all the difference! I can so relate to how all things around me are different/improved when I keep the focus on me and my recovery.
Keep working it - it looks so good on you! My experience is that we are gifted freedom from the bondage of self and past when we are spiritually fit. I agree with el-cee - God's will for me is unconditional love for myself and all in my life.
(((Hugs))) - great share and so very powerful in how it really works!
I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuff, but I recently totally let go of it, and there he was calling once I stopped caring). He emailed me mid-day telling me he'd be hanging out at my house til a certain time bc his job got extended. I normally go to an al-anon meeting on Weds afternoons, but in the past, I would skip the meeting (or change any other plans I had) in order to spend time with him. Let's be clear, not because he asked me, because I wanted to -- I wanted him to be the sun and the moon and I would lose my self and abandon whatever I was doing to rush to be with him. I didn't even really think of it this time -- the thought popped into my mind that I could make it home before he left for work, but I was like "absolutely not; what I want to do is go to my meeting." So I went to my meeting (had a great meeting on Step 11) and came home and ate dinner. I didn't expect to see him at all, but he had a break in the job and came up to my house. We had a really good talk and a cup of coffee. He was exactly the same. I had changed in my expectations and my behaviors. I was present in the moment, I was actually engaged in our conversation, not having a whole second imaginary conversation in my head. It was peaceful, and I had serenity, and it was really, really nice. It works when I work it. So grateful for al-anon tools and principles.
Thanks for sharing this. I believe this is the very essence of our program, everything you share here. The ability to be in the moment, mind body and spirit and just be. To be engaged with another human being within that moment instead of remembering each and every bad thing they ever did or said, or worrying about tomorrow etc. Just to be in the moment and take the person for who they are right then and there. For me this is Gods will, this is how its supposed to be and how much happier are we for it?
Keep working it - it looks so good on you! My experience is that we are gifted freedom from the bondage of self and past when we are spiritually fit. I agree with el-cee - God's will for me is unconditional love for myself and all in my life.
(((Hugs))) - great share and so very powerful in how it really works!