Finding the inner strength to identify if what I'm feeling in my gut is instinctual or over thinking that now has turned into unnecessary worry. Why do we overthink? Assume the worst vs hope for the best? Is it engrained in us based on our history with the alcoholics in our life OR is it something we are born with and we got the additional perk of practicing it with our qualifiers. Also I think of my life in 3 parts: personal, professional and financial. I realized today that I'm never content with all three...and when two of them are going well, usually the third one is spiraling out of control. Is this just me or is this a result of years of living in chaos with my Ex RA BF. I wonder am I subconsciously creating chaos in one area of my life because that's what's 'normal' or am I that much of a hot mess that I really can't get it all together. Contstantly feeling like Im being tested, nothing major or traumatic-but little things that are making me think about where I really am in my journey in this life.

There's a page in one of the daily readers that says something to the effect of al-anon isn't going to cause you to have a life free of strife, but is going to teach you the tools to deal with the ups and downs of life with calmness and faith. Another piece of literature ("Did you grow up with alcoholism?" -- one of the brochures) asks something like "Do you feel uncomfortable if there is no chaos in your life?" One of my own personal favorites is that there's nothing to be gained in asking "why" about anything (it's my personal fave bc it's really hard for me not to ask "why?????"). And then there's the Shakespeare quote found in C2C, "There's nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so."

Life is what it is. We can take it as spiraling out of control or just happening. And we can then respond or not respond accordingly. This idea of acceptance is *so radical*. When I can do it/choose to do it, I'm in immense spiritual peace and serenity. When I can't (or don't) practice the fine art of acceptance, I'm churning inside and not at peace. And the world outside my head just keeps doing what it does.

(((Crau))) - I was an overly inquisitive person from the womb - I believe. For as long as I can remember, I asked Why. In recovery, I've really worked hard to stop asking why and to instead consider that whatever is happening, good or bad, is exactly what is supposed to be happening. Once I work on accepting the situation, I can then determine what my part is, what can I do within my control and lastly what can I learn.

I still get baffled, puzzled, frustrated, etc. about events in my life but the program tools have helped me realize it's not happening to me, it's happening in spite of me. I have learned to stop personalizing most things and instead just accept, deal and heal.

Keep it Simple pops into my mind often during times of trouble. Keep working on you and as we say, more will be revealed!!