I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks.
I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this day, the words do not come from his mouth, only mine. This has been going on for years. I have been supporting him by not drinking at all at home to help. I purchase herbal Mitadone to help him while drying out, but he always starts to drink after 5 days of trying. Mainly, my patience is gone, I feel we have a shortened future. This motel plan is so I don't have to worry what kind of day it's going to be drinking AH or sober AH. My other reason is I am hoping he takes the time to accept that he needs to get on the ball and start a detox program. I have read many stories of relapses after detox, and I know it is his decision to start. I just don't know what else to do but have a couple weeks of my own peace of mind.
And to top it off, our 10th Wedding Anniversary is Nov 11th.
Thanks for listening, one day at a time!
Freetime said
Oct 24, 2016
Hi Naomi, I totally understand your reasoning for staying at a motel. It sounds like a great way to take care of yourself so you can be at your best when starting your new job. "A couple of weeks of peace of mind" is a very good thing.
I'm sorry that your 10th anniversary may not be what you would have wished... but so glad you are focusing on yourself. I hope this is the start of a happier new path for you.
hotrod said
Oct 25, 2016
((Naomi)) Remember to decide to turn off your cell phone after a certain time each night.
Positive thoughts for success in the new job on the way.
Suburban Denizen said
Oct 25, 2016
Hi Naomi - I have so much respect for your decision. Life changes - like new jobs - are never easy, I'm glad you're taking such good care of yourself. I love staying in hotel rooms...so much of the day-to-day pressure goes out the window. Can't do anything about the cooking, laundry, cleaning out the garage, running out with dry-cleaning - or deal with the butterflies the unpredictability and suspense the qualifier's behavior can engender.
All of the best on your new job - and congratulations!
Denizen
Jazzie18 said
Oct 25, 2016
Hi Naomi,
First congratulations on the new job. Good for you making this decision to start off on a positive note and get the rest and mental recharge needed in the first two weeks. I found it so peaceful when my AH wasn't at home....even the days that he was in the hospital detoxing. Funny how that sounds when you type that out. Stay positive and I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Taraxacum said
Oct 25, 2016
Congrats on the job, and the motel soulds like a good move, peace and calm for a fresh start at work sounds wonderful. I'll be thinkng about how I can give myself peace and some space away from my qualifiers too. Thank you for this reminder and best wishes for the new job
Iamhere said
Oct 25, 2016
I also send Congratulations for your new job!!! I can't think of a better way to start it - going to a hotel each evening, reviewing the day in peace, taking care of you! Marvelous self-care - sending prayers and positive thoughts for an awesome new start...(((Hugs)))
Worried Wife said
Oct 25, 2016
Thank you all for your kind words and understanding. It means so much to hear from others that are going through the same situations.
Tinyhouse said
Oct 29, 2016
I know this was a few days ago but airbnb or VRBO/homeaway may be cheaper and nicer options than a hotel. Good luck
andromeda said
Oct 29, 2016
I am starting a new job soon too, but I no longer live with active addiction. I would have never been able to do so if I was still living with XAH. Kudos to you for taking care of yourself!
Jerry F said
Oct 29, 2016
I'm thinking that if you had a sponsor that it would be nice to have that sponsor spend some time with you during the lull filling your time with ESH and no worry, fear and 2nd guessing yourself. Take care and keep checking in with MIP....(((((hugs))))
Hi all,
I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks.
I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this day, the words do not come from his mouth, only mine. This has been going on for years. I have been supporting him by not drinking at all at home to help. I purchase herbal Mitadone to help him while drying out, but he always starts to drink after 5 days of trying. Mainly, my patience is gone, I feel we have a shortened future. This motel plan is so I don't have to worry what kind of day it's going to be drinking AH or sober AH. My other reason is I am hoping he takes the time to accept that he needs to get on the ball and start a detox program. I have read many stories of relapses after detox, and I know it is his decision to start. I just don't know what else to do but have a couple weeks of my own peace of mind.
And to top it off, our 10th Wedding Anniversary is Nov 11th.
Thanks for listening, one day at a time!
Hi Naomi, I totally understand your reasoning for staying at a motel. It sounds like a great way to take care of yourself so you can be at your best when starting your new job. "A couple of weeks of peace of mind" is a very good thing.
I'm sorry that your 10th anniversary may not be what you would have wished... but so glad you are focusing on yourself. I hope this is the start of a happier new path for you.
((Naomi)) Remember to decide to turn off your cell phone after a certain time each night.
Positive thoughts for success in the new job on the way.
All of the best on your new job - and congratulations!
Denizen
First congratulations on the new job. Good for you making this decision to start off on a positive note and get the rest and mental recharge needed in the first two weeks. I found it so peaceful when my AH wasn't at home....even the days that he was in the hospital detoxing. Funny how that sounds when you type that out. Stay positive and I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
I'm thinking that if you had a sponsor that it would be nice to have that sponsor spend some time with you during the lull filling your time with ESH and no worry, fear and 2nd guessing yourself. Take care and keep checking in with MIP....(((((hugs))))