my exH was a much easier detachment than what I'm living with now. My son 11 yr old. Is driving me as crazy as I use to be. (Starting my steps again.) Detaching from an 11 year old is hard. I find myself depressing again. I'm staying so busy when he's not here I'm so muscle sore I can hardly sleep. But when he keeps on and on and school phone calls and grades - with many learning disorders homework is a chore for us both. We started a new counseling team as we did move across the state line a month ago. After last nights rage over a minor issue. I am looking at residential care. I feel QuiltY. I know he has abandonment issues (mom OD'd at 20 months of his age) his dad in rehab and prisons. For last 3 years.. I know I've tried doctors and counselors and I'm not able to help him. I want to do everything in my power to help him. He begs me to let him prove he can change and not go to doctors but it never happens. Socially and educational things are so bad. He has no friends and it breaks my heart.
Any ideas or comments welcome.
Jerry F said
Oct 20, 2016
Is Alateen available for him...call the Al-Anon hotline and see. (((hugs)))
sarahGee said
Oct 20, 2016
I agree with Alateen.
My parents tried every form of therapy with me, right down to institution. I was a wild child with a lot of hurts in my heart as well.
There is nothing that has healed that hurt and caused change for better like the lessons I am learning here in Al Anon.
I am sorry that he is hurting and that you are as well.
SerenityRUS said
Oct 20, 2016
I work at a non profit who specializes in children foster care and adoption. If you would like to private message me please feel free. I could at least get you in touch with people in your area who might be able to help give a different perspective. I can't imagine how hard this is for you both. I can't check my messages until tomorrow night. I also agree alateen could help as well. Hugs s ;)
hotrod said
Oct 20, 2016
((Sweetr)) Positive thoughts and prayers on the way This is indeed a difficult situation and support and undertanding for you and the chid are so important.
el-cee said
Oct 20, 2016
I so feel for you but please try not to feel guilty. i think jt takes courage to seek out a different solution instead of going round and over again and getting nowhere. this may be bigger than you and its not your fault. youve tried your hardest. your son may need more specialised structured help tighter boundaries and whatever you decide in his best interest is a gift. i spent too long believing things would change with my own son when in fact if i could have admitted it was too big for me i may have saved him lots of heartache and pain. i would take serenity up on her brilliant offer. prayers for you and your beloved son x
pinkchip said
Oct 20, 2016
Was there a qualifier for your son or was he adopted after and without memory of it? Sounds like you need respite services for parents of special needs kids....at the very least. I also used to work with that population of kids. Feel free to pm.
my exH was a much easier detachment than what I'm living with now. My son 11 yr old. Is driving me as crazy as I use to be. (Starting my steps again.) Detaching from an 11 year old is hard. I find myself depressing again. I'm staying so busy when he's not here I'm so muscle sore I can hardly sleep. But when he keeps on and on and school phone calls and grades - with many learning disorders homework is a chore for us both. We started a new counseling team as we did move across the state line a month ago. After last nights rage over a minor issue. I am looking at residential care. I feel QuiltY. I know he has abandonment issues (mom OD'd at 20 months of his age) his dad in rehab and prisons. For last 3 years.. I know I've tried doctors and counselors and I'm not able to help him. I want to do everything in my power to help him. He begs me to let him prove he can change and not go to doctors but it never happens. Socially and educational things are so bad. He has no friends and it breaks my heart.
Any ideas or comments welcome.
Is Alateen available for him...call the Al-Anon hotline and see. (((hugs)))
My parents tried every form of therapy with me, right down to institution. I was a wild child with a lot of hurts in my heart as well.
There is nothing that has healed that hurt and caused change for better like the lessons I am learning here in Al Anon.
I am sorry that he is hurting and that you are as well.
I so feel for you but please try not to feel guilty. i think jt takes courage to seek out a different solution instead of going round and over again and getting nowhere. this may be bigger than you and its not your fault. youve tried your hardest. your son may need more specialised structured help tighter boundaries and whatever you decide in his best interest is a gift. i spent too long believing things would change with my own son when in fact if i could have admitted it was too big for me i may have saved him lots of heartache and pain. i would take serenity up on her brilliant offer. prayers for you and your beloved son x