Today HP is throwing me some curveballs to test my patience.

I posted earlier about my Amoms cancer diagnosis. She had me believing that it was aggressive, and that there was no hope. We needed to prepare for the end. 

I found out shortly after that it is a small patch of skin cancer cells. Not to minimize that, but there is a large difference between say - stage 4 inoperable cancer and a small group of easily removable dermal cells. I let that go, I know she needed the attention for whatever reason. I am grateful that I have learned not to involve my children in any of this. I never told them about their grandma's cancer diagnosis. Knowing better, I wanted to hear the prognosis from a Dr before I told my kids anything. 

Today I have been getting emails, phone calls and other various messages from well meaning friends and family members. She has been telling everyone that she is virtually palliative.

Bless them, change me.

I have not said anything other than "thank you" to the well meaning folk, but no doubt my patience is getting tested today. 

I can't tell mom to stop, it is pointless. I can't tell the well wishers the truth, its not mine to tell.

Letting it go. 

That appears to be a working detachment Sara G...full time working and then that is what it takes time to time.  Stay the HP tool that you are and keep coming back.   Mahalo for the lesson.   (((hugs)))

Jerry F wrote:

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That appears to be a working detachment Sara G...full time working and then that is what it takes time to time.  Stay the HP tool that you are and keep coming back.   Mahalo for the lesson.   (((hugs)))

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 Is that what that is?

I have a better understanding now. Thank you for your reply Jerry.

Jill wrote:

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I love that. Bless them, change me. I'm going to borrow that frequently.
You're doing it right.

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 I borrowed it from someone else. We can all share 

Thank you for your response!

Yes I am SO grateful for my program right now! Even though I am at the very beginning of it, I have leaned on so much of what I have learned here in Al Anon to guide me through the most recent events.

I'm finally learning to release all of this to my HP. Before I would have stressed, obsessed over WHY, grown angry and surely lost sleep over it. Lack of sleep would exacerbate all of those negative feelings & it would trickle down into every other area of life.

There are daily "events" with -and even between- my qualifiers, as with every Al Anon member. I still need to ask for member guidance (program cues) through them, but I am finally not destroyed by them.

Tonight, instead of falling apart and spinning out of control..

I am going to get myself a burrito and binge watch Friends on Netflix 

-- Edited by sarahGee on Wednesday 19th of October 2016 04:37:03 PM

just wanted to say hi and i feel you and i appreciate your thoughts and your writing. i'm also new here.

my mother told me when i got married that i was hastening her cancer and that i was gonna kill her (her words).  she did have serious cancer but at that point she was ok.  

i'm sure she was happy she lived long enough to see me get divorced.  she was still fairly healthy at that point a few years later as well.

you sound clear minded and more power to you on the boundary setting.  never an easy thing.

one day at at time... living and learning.

all the best!