On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his crap (which I'd already set outside in plastic bags in case of rain that was't forecasted for days but whatever). I rolled my eyes and deleted the Tinder account, realizing it wasn't worth the trouble, I'm better than this, worth more than this, most look douchey and are pictured with vast quantities of alcohol anyway, etc.... I turn back to my physics homework and Project Runway (because I heart Tim Gunn so much!) Then get a text saying "wanna have break-up passionate stuff." I contemplate some great come-back or enumerating all the reasons that's a stupid idea. Then I decide he's not worth it and respond simply with "nope." I get back, "just the way you like it." Which makes the bile rise in my throat. Then I realize there's a better way to handle this. I take a screen shot and send it to my friend who has been privy to all of this drama that I don't want because she's really good at handling other people's situations with humor. Her response, "I guess he didn't get laid on any of those dates!" Then I felt better.

I sent the screen grab to my mom the next morning (she's making me tell her how I am every morning because she's extra worried about me) and she tells me all the things a mother would say like "you're better than Tinder" and "I know that it's hard and can be lonely when you're single" and all the mom things a good mom says. Then she comes up with the BEST come-back (background, he liked to masturbate and then wipe himself with paper towels and shove them in, under, and behind my sofa) "You should have asked, 'Did you run out of paper towels?'" I cracked up and thought this would be the end of it.

Of course not. He had to then text to make sure that his crap was in fact on the back porch as promised. "Yep." Then I get, "I just wanted you to know that I'm off my meds now because I was literally taking them to survive you. The disease that is you." Then a little later. "That wasn't meant to be mean. I know it sounded like it. But we just became different people who don't belong together anymore." Bile rises again until... Delete, block, send to mother, family deletes and blocks, sends on to friends who then also delete and block (also call him stupid). Then mom says, he's definitely trying to be mean and control your emotions. I said, "yep, and that's why I just blocked him. Because he has his crap now. No more reason for him to contact me."

Needless to say I had plenty to share in meeting the next morning. So then my friend that made me start going to meetings drags me to a show out of town. Which allowed me reprieve enough to let it drift off into the wind. Of course, I'm still obsessing about it because it was so offensive. But I'm working on giving up the insults to my HP because I recognize that I am powerless over the things he can say or think about me. But I do have the power to change whether or not I have to see and hear those insults.