(((geems))) - I am one who believes everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, they happen for us to learn or grow. Sometimes, for us to observe and listen. If you have a pet, you're not alone! Have a meeting with your 'loved fur babies' - I do that often. Of course, I also believe that HP is with us always so we're really not alone. Any processing which results in contact with others in recovery is a good thing! Whatever you are considering, thinking, processing, etc. today - it brought you here for your share. That's how we grow - we see/hear, we process, we share and we learn. You are doing great!!

I'm sorry Geems ~ that had to be difficult and lonely. Hopefully it doesn't happen again.

I did learn something by showing up for planned events that I've committed to. I learned that recovery is that important to me. My exasperation @ no other attendees only reflects my wanting to control what others do. If it had been something like a dinner and nobody else showed up that would be different..or maybe not. I still had a meeting with HP and myself at the scheduled times...why wouldn't I just go ahead and eat with HP if it was time to eat? Hmmmmm, am I getting somewhere with this lol? Thanks for the feedback team. Love yas.

This mornings meeting was very interesting. A great deal of tears about things not going my way (nobody else showed) control issues I get that...but I was aware of something else that I'd never been able to give a name to. I was feeling lonely. I'd never isolated that emotion and gave it a name. It put me back to the place where I was when I was with my A bf around holiday time. No matter how much I gave to that relationship, I always felt lonely. That I was in it by myself. Of course I was..he wasn't well enough to have a mutually supportive loving relationship. As I sat there staring at the MIB mind melding them to reply I realized that's one of my defects. Conditions. If I'm putting my heart out there yours better be out there too. Not necessarily it seems. Still feeling quite wounded at discovering yet another defect of character. Maybe just take it easy today geems. OK thanks I will.

Lonliness sucks. good for you for still going to the meetings even though nobody else has shown up the past couple time!

Thanks for the reply jojo. It's been a bit of a struggle to get on the computer given it's not mine. I have to plead with my AH to let me have it during the meeting times so it's a bit of a drag when it's something I look so forward to just to be disappointed BUT, being disappointed was the choice I made. It's clearly a lesson for me in not having expectations of others...just myself. That said, I'm so new and a total doofus to this... it's the presence of others who already know the route that I need in those meetings. I hate to admit I depend on somebody else for anything. Especially when it comes to my spiritual journey. That's up to HP and me. Yet, the only way to recover is with the support of others, who aren't there when needed. Maybe I've got this whole thing wrong...probably lol.

They are the on-line meetings. I go to the f2f meetings but these guys became my peeps. I haven't connected with the group f2f the way I have here. However, maybe HP has that in mind for me...maybe I have to go outside my comfort zone now? But, these guys feel like my family now. I've know the f2f groups (3 I go to) for 38 days and these guys for 40 days today! Thanks for the reply Betty..I'm sure it just part of the journey for me. Sigh.. if there's a way to make it tough..I'll find it. Keeping it Simple for the rest of today hahaha. Much Love Bernie

Geemz,are you down under? Could daylight savings time changes have something to do with it, ie getting the time wrong? Its happened to me.

No I'm up over... in Canada eh :)

I agree with you Geems - the only way to get through these times is with the support of others. At least you have this board to get inspiration from when you are the only one that shows up for the meetings. Hang in there.