I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mess,I'm all alone 1st time in my history I've been or lived by myself though I have my fur baby,he can't talk.i been staying as busy as a bee ever since I got rid of my qualifiers ,stripping,sanding,polyurethaneing tables,table and more tables as home projects,needed to be done,still have this lonesomeness feeling everyday seems to be getting worser at times it's been going on 3 mths I've been alone,not many freinds I can call,maybe 2,ftf alanon meetings are just a very few that come which are married,so not much relation there.im got a Freind that lives next door so I thought,she is a addict,and stole my anxiety medicine from out of my purse,so not much of a Freind,I haven't confronted her about it yet on account her and her hubby were just in a wreck and tore their car up.so I'm putting it off till everything settles over there,then I'll confront her ,not expecting much if the truth.i do have appts building up on me again it seems,specialist I have to go to.i have sleep apnea ,which I almost know that it's gotten worse stemming from way back dealing with my qualifiers stress ful sit.im sleeping in blocks,like 4 hrs here and there,and staying sluggish in the day time,next week I go to my sleep apnea dr,looking forward to that appt,hopeing I can get better .and eye dr appt today.im slacking on my house work,just have not much interest in anything,I'm making myself finish my projects that I've started.i guess I could say that I'm feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired ,with myself now,no qualifiers to have to deal with......thanks for letting me vent,had to get that out this early ,early morning.2:15 am,ha.gonna be another loooong day.....in recovery ....hugs lu
hotrod said
Oct 6, 2016
Hi LU I am up late an saw your posting I tried joining a yoga class and a gym that helped me to form new connections and iI was able to get great exercise. :)
I hear you talk about your fur baby so maybe volunteering at the animal shelter might help as well.
You have come a long way and trust HP life will get much better
lookingup said
Oct 6, 2016
Thank you Betty,I'm sure it will get better,just in a rut ,lol,I'm almost afraid to help at animal shelter of what all I'll be trying to bring home ,lol.i get to attached to these fur babies.i live in town so I'm lucky to be able to have one.milo is 10 yrs old so when his time comes,I'm not wanting anymore,most apts won't allow pets,thanks for the suggestion,exercise and walking is on my list,I and Milo had started walking ,done great for 3 days then I got side tracked and busy ,just didn't go back to it,maybe laziness has got a hold of me?,I dunno,......its 3:am here.......hugs lu
jojo8466 said
Oct 6, 2016
Your post made me giggle because when you said "I've been keeping busy...stripping" my first thought was you got a part-time job at a strip club! Thank goodness the rest of the sentence made me realize you were talking about stripping floors! LOL. Thanks for the laugh!
I'm sorry you are struggling - loneliness is the pits BUT it's better than being burden with alcoholism and all the drama and emotions that go with that! Please keep that in mind! I'm praying for you!
Iamhere said
Oct 6, 2016
Hey LU - so sorry you are feeling a bit lonely! I'm with Betty - joined a yoga group or fitness club helped me as well as music when I am at home alone. I don't do well with quiet time so most days I am either listening to music or the TV is on in the background. If Al-Anon meetings are few/far between, you are certainly welcome to go to open AA meetings. It would not surprise me if other Alanoner's do this in your area and other areas where Al-Anon support is limited.
Keep working it - you'll find your people! Since you're into the wood-working, have you considered any clubs for such in your area? I have a friend who loves refinishing/repurposing furniture, and began by joining a club. He now has made a business out of this and travels almost each weekend to a new event where he sells/peddles his creations. Keep an open mind - you just never know what next experience waits around the bend!
lookingup said
Oct 6, 2016
Thanks Betty,jojo and IAH for your esh,lol jojo,I didn't see that but now I do,lol,stripping ,that is funny.guess I'm more HALT,than ever,must just be settling in with me,I do eat,having problems with the angry part may need to work on that,I can get out and go for the lonely part,just when everything really starts getting quiet and I start getting ansy being alone everything starts happening,lol back to being busy again,maintenance workers been here doing repairs for the last couple days,I'm tired most days but it's more than likely sleep apnea do I'll be going to have that seen about next week.so for now I've just got to be patient,never know what all awaits us just around the corner.........
LinSC said
Oct 6, 2016
Hi LU, would it help to count your blessings? Just for today, you have running water, a full fridge, shelter from the weather, a good running vehicle. Maybe a gratitude list just for today. I hope you can find some positive things to think about just for today. linsc
lookingup said
Oct 6, 2016
Thank you linsc for your esh,and yes that's so true I'm not done my g&a list for today yet,usually I do them early morning,it sure helps to.....and I have been well blessed with more than I deserve,I am very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that does love me so unconditionally.....
maryjane said
Oct 6, 2016
I started volunteering at the zoo. No question I can't take any of those animals home and they are happy to have me there as much or as little as I want. Or the humane society has lots of kittens who need to be socialized, or dogs who need their daily walks and socialization. There are lots of places to volunteer. The local hospital would love to have you as a visitor director (to direct them to the correct patient rooms). You would definitely meet a lot of people there. Or your local public school would love to have you help the 1st, 2nd and 3rd graders learn to read and write. And kids are so welcoming at that age.
Sorry to hear you are so lonely but now that you have awareness you can get acceptance and action.
I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mess,I'm all alone 1st time in my history I've been or lived by myself though I have my fur baby,he can't talk.i been staying as busy as a bee ever since I got rid of my qualifiers ,stripping,sanding,polyurethaneing tables,table and more tables as home projects,needed to be done,still have this lonesomeness feeling everyday seems to be getting worser at times it's been going on 3 mths I've been alone,not many freinds I can call,maybe 2,ftf alanon meetings are just a very few that come which are married,so not much relation there.im got a Freind that lives next door so I thought,she is a addict,and stole my anxiety medicine from out of my purse,so not much of a Freind,I haven't confronted her about it yet on account her and her hubby were just in a wreck and tore their car up.so I'm putting it off till everything settles over there,then I'll confront her ,not expecting much if the truth.i do have appts building up on me again it seems,specialist I have to go to.i have sleep apnea ,which I almost know that it's gotten worse stemming from way back dealing with my qualifiers stress ful sit.im sleeping in blocks,like 4 hrs here and there,and staying sluggish in the day time,next week I go to my sleep apnea dr,looking forward to that appt,hopeing I can get better .and eye dr appt today.im slacking on my house work,just have not much interest in anything,I'm making myself finish my projects that I've started.i guess I could say that I'm feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired ,with myself now,no qualifiers to have to deal with......thanks for letting me vent,had to get that out this early ,early morning.2:15 am,ha.gonna be another loooong day.....in recovery ....hugs lu
I hear you talk about your fur baby so maybe volunteering at the animal shelter might help as well.
You have come a long way and trust HP life will get much better
I'm sorry you are struggling - loneliness is the pits BUT it's better than being burden with alcoholism and all the drama and emotions that go with that! Please keep that in mind! I'm praying for you!
Keep working it - you'll find your people! Since you're into the wood-working, have you considered any clubs for such in your area? I have a friend who loves refinishing/repurposing furniture, and began by joining a club. He now has made a business out of this and travels almost each weekend to a new event where he sells/peddles his creations. Keep an open mind - you just never know what next experience waits around the bend!
Hi LU, would it help to count your blessings? Just for today, you have running water, a full fridge, shelter from the weather, a good running vehicle. Maybe a gratitude list just for today. I hope you can find some positive things to think about just for today. linsc
Thank you linsc for your esh,and yes that's so true I'm not done my g&a list for today yet,usually I do them early morning,it sure helps to.....and I have been well blessed with more than I deserve,I am very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that does love me so unconditionally.....
Sorry to hear you are so lonely but now that you have awareness you can get acceptance and action.
Keep on taking care of yourself.