The reading in Courage to Change discusses that even if/when there is abuse or violence in a relationship, we have choices. We have a duty to protect ourselves and make choices that ensure our safety.
Today's Reminder -- I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence, I must be the one who changes. I'll start by being honest about what is going on.
Today's Quote is from In All Our Affairs -- "There is hope, there is help, and I have an inalienable right to human dignity."
No one has the right to ever physically abuse another no matter the situation of circumstance. Even when we feel stuck in an abusive situation, we have choices. Al-Anon suggests we never offer advice as we don't know what is good for another in recovery. We must all take care that if/when there is abuse, we still discard projection, advice and you should.....beyond seeking professional protection and support.
I know for me, any abuse is a red light. Because of past experiences, my tolerance is zero. I also know that because of my experience, these are scenarios where I must be cautious as I can easily project what happened to me on another. There is shame often within the abused that makes it difficult to share. When the courage allows one to share, more often they are full of fear, valid and real. As a member of recovery, it is my job to help them see choices that exist but not magnify their situation by explaining my past, my pain or how it can also escalate.
For me, personal recovery and self-care empower me to make choices to keep me safe or get me to a safe place in volatile situations. I encourage anyone who is in an abusive relationship to seek support and help from any/all resources available - counseling, police, safe-homes, etc. We all have the right to live in peace, serenity and joy - choose to follow that path.
hotrod said
Sep 29, 2016
Hi IAH Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important subject. Calling 911 or a domestic abuse hot line is a great idea as is having a safe place to go and money put aside. This is indeed an important topic and i am pleased alanon takes a position on this issue .
I do hope you feel better. Rest , and drink liquids
Thanks for your service.
Enigmatic said
Sep 29, 2016
Thank you for your service, IAH, and both for your shares. Very important topic for those in an abusive relationship and those who are not, as we all benefit by remembering our choices and responsibilities. Great reminder for me today that I have choices on any situation that is causing me pain or discomfort, and that those choices begin with me.
Sorry to hear you are not 100%, strength and recovery to you
Iamhere said
Sep 29, 2016
Working on self-care......I am not a pleasant/good patient! But am eating/drinking chicken broth to hydrate. You know you don't feel well when your special blend of coffee that you love every morning, especially cooler fall mornings doesn't taste good!
Thanks for the great shares all and the well wishes! I'll be close by trying to chill!
hotrod said
Sep 29, 2016
((Hugs)) Positive thoughts on the way
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:04:19 AM
geems said
Sep 29, 2016
Sounds like somethings "caught" you...Sending you some virtual chicken soup (((IAH))). Thanks for the reading and the share (s). Does this apply to verbal/emotional abuse or do those fall within "taking things personally" "Being thin skinned"? both of which I get a chance to work on work daily. Sometimes I want to explode from not saying something back. Not there yet? Keep coming back? OK thanks..lol love yas
hotrod said
Sep 29, 2016
Geems The reading also suggests that we examine our own behavior to see if we are not triggering a drunk person by arguing or engaging in an unhealthy fashion.
I believe there are degrees of emotional abuse and that detachment, and responding in a healthy fashion and not reacting work well with this .
In other words not engaging in the insanity is important. Walking away, reciting the serenity prayer or a slogan works.
El said
Sep 29, 2016
Thank you for today's reading with your thoughts. Feel better!!! Seasonal changes usually come with new bugs....take good care of you.
Ellen
geems said
Sep 29, 2016
Yes! Recognizing when I've picked up one of my HP's jobs... the things I cannot change. My approach to all addicts in my life has to change. Today, I will take ten seconds before I open my mouth about anything. This is truly my HP working hard with me on controlling my mouth. Also controlling my thoughts. Respond don't react. Thanks Betty. I'm going to a f2f meeting at 1:30. I know I need to go because I'm resisting. "You MUST do the thing you think you cannot do" Elenor Roosevelt.
lookingup said
Sep 30, 2016
Thanks for the daily and for your service IAH ,wishing you a speedy recovery ,hope you get feeling better soon.....hugs lu
The reading in Courage to Change discusses that even if/when there is abuse or violence in a relationship, we have choices. We have a duty to protect ourselves and make choices that ensure our safety.
Today's Reminder -- I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence, I must be the one who changes. I'll start by being honest about what is going on.
Today's Quote is from In All Our Affairs -- "There is hope, there is help, and I have an inalienable right to human dignity."
No one has the right to ever physically abuse another no matter the situation of circumstance. Even when we feel stuck in an abusive situation, we have choices. Al-Anon suggests we never offer advice as we don't know what is good for another in recovery. We must all take care that if/when there is abuse, we still discard projection, advice and you should.....beyond seeking professional protection and support.
I know for me, any abuse is a red light. Because of past experiences, my tolerance is zero. I also know that because of my experience, these are scenarios where I must be cautious as I can easily project what happened to me on another. There is shame often within the abused that makes it difficult to share. When the courage allows one to share, more often they are full of fear, valid and real. As a member of recovery, it is my job to help them see choices that exist but not magnify their situation by explaining my past, my pain or how it can also escalate.
For me, personal recovery and self-care empower me to make choices to keep me safe or get me to a safe place in volatile situations. I encourage anyone who is in an abusive relationship to seek support and help from any/all resources available - counseling, police, safe-homes, etc. We all have the right to live in peace, serenity and joy - choose to follow that path.
I do hope you feel better. Rest , and drink liquids
Thanks for your service.
Sorry to hear you are not 100%, strength and recovery to you
Thanks for the great shares all and the well wishes! I'll be close by trying to chill!
((Hugs)) Positive thoughts on the way
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 11:04:19 AM
I believe there are degrees of emotional abuse and that detachment, and responding in a healthy fashion and not reacting work well with this .
In other words not engaging in the insanity is important. Walking away, reciting the serenity prayer or a slogan works.
Thank you for today's reading with your thoughts. Feel better!!! Seasonal changes usually come with new bugs....take good care of you.
Ellen