I am the father of an alcoholic adult daughter. I am a new attendee to an Al-non family group. My A adult daughter's mom also attending same Al-anon meetings.
i am uncomfortable with this. Am I being a jerk? Is this common? Is there a position/policy of Al-anon regarding this.
My discomfort stems from feeling inhibited in some things I consider sharing. I have not shared our relation with the group members; and do not believe her mom as either.
Her mon was not at my first meeting but has been present for the last three meetings;I was much more comfortable at the first meeting. Should I seek another group?
Thank you
Peace
ed
geems said
Sep 27, 2016
Both in alanon, both embracing recovery, you don't want to admit to what?? in front of her?
el-cee said
Sep 27, 2016
I can understand . My daughter came to my meeting and it was suggested we don't attend the same meeting as it could effect both our recovery. We want to feel free to say what we need to. Glad your in the fellowship.
DavidG said
Sep 27, 2016
Short answer- yes.
[To the question- should i find another group.]
Are you being a jerk- not at all!
I don't know of any Alanon policy in this one. Guidelines... not sure...???
It would be hard for me to open up in this situation. This happened to me right at the beginning- nobody's fault.
In our small town there were no other meetings...
But why not go to the same meeting together, from time to time...? Things will change as time goes on...
That was my ESH.
-- Edited by DavidG on Tuesday 27th of September 2016 02:31:33 PM
Iamhere said
Sep 27, 2016
Welcome to MIP Ed - glad you found us and glad you jumped right in. I would certainly encourage you to seek another meeting if you are uncomfortable. Recovery is a personal journey and anything that inhibits your ability to be open and honest will affect your recovery.
My hope is you are in a large enough metro area to find other meetings! Best to you, your daughter and her mother - the disease is powerful and for me, I found recovery, understanding, fellowship and much more in Al-Anon.
I agree with David - comfort levels may change over time - do what you need to do for you - just for today and let more be revealed as it will be!
Keep coming back!
ed said
Sep 27, 2016
To all other posters Thank You. Note, it is daughter's mom attending not daughter. Daughter is in AA.
In reviewing my original post I forgot to share that my daughter's mom and I have been divorced since 1987.
There is only one AFG in our city. Two other in nearby towns.
el-cee said
Sep 27, 2016
Yeah, horrid little people. Ive deleted them I think. Maybe someone else could check ive done it properly. Thanks
DavidG said
Sep 27, 2016
M8... you could consider using this group!!! It is a great place meet up.
You are more than welcome to make personal contact with me! ...
M8, or mate, is an Ozzie word, used in this part of the world.
ed said
Sep 27, 2016
Yes you succeeded; I deleted my post to rid their post.
I am the father of an alcoholic adult daughter. I am a new attendee to an Al-non family group. My A adult daughter's mom also attending same Al-anon meetings.
i am uncomfortable with this. Am I being a jerk? Is this common? Is there a position/policy of Al-anon regarding this.
My discomfort stems from feeling inhibited in some things I consider sharing. I have not shared our relation with the group members; and do not believe her mom as either.
Her mon was not at my first meeting but has been present for the last three meetings;I was much more comfortable at the first meeting. Should I seek another group?
Thank you
Peace
ed
Short answer- yes.
[To the question- should i find another group.]
Are you being a jerk- not at all!
I don't know of any Alanon policy in this one. Guidelines... not sure...???
It would be hard for me to open up in this situation. This happened to me right at the beginning- nobody's fault.
In our small town there were no other meetings...
But why not go to the same meeting together, from time to time...? Things will change as time goes on...
That was my ESH.
-- Edited by DavidG on Tuesday 27th of September 2016 02:31:33 PM
My hope is you are in a large enough metro area to find other meetings! Best to you, your daughter and her mother - the disease is powerful and for me, I found recovery, understanding, fellowship and much more in Al-Anon.
I agree with David - comfort levels may change over time - do what you need to do for you - just for today and let more be revealed as it will be!
Keep coming back!
In reviewing my original post I forgot to share that my daughter's mom and I have been divorced since 1987.
There is only one AFG in our city. Two other in nearby towns.
M8... you could consider using this group!!! It is a great place meet up.
You are more than welcome to make personal contact with me!
...
M8, or mate, is an Ozzie word, used in this part of the world.
Yes you succeeded; I deleted my post to rid their post.