I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He came out different...saying the right things, acknowledging things he hadn't before, being open in a way he hadn't. I learned my part in Alanon and it was finally going to be better. He had relapses, but I learned this was part of recovery and it mattered what he was going to do about it but really more that I was going to stay out of it. I was feeling strong and uneffected as though I had finally learned to be free of it. I was especially glad because I knew I would be an even better mom to my little one with my new understanding of the disease of alcoholism and my part in an alcoholic's life. Fast forward 5 months. He is right back where he was. I am so grateful because I am not. I have kept my boundaries in tact. If he drinks he is not permitted to be here; to be married to me and living with our family he must be sober. I had a tough moment last night when the reality hit me that he could decide to stay away and hurt my daughter and I financially. Worse, I don't have any idea how his being gone will effect my daughter who loves him so much. In the past I would've rushed to try to get my husband to "see" the harm he was causing and change the outcome (participate in the crazy). Instead I began reading all of the stories here. Like a magic wand, the worry melts away. You all remind me how powerful the experience of others is. I will use it as a reminder to be aware of my own courage and resourcefulness. You remind me to continue turning it over to my HP. You remind me, I can walk away from the crazy and have the right to want happiness, respect, and peace for myself and my daughter. You all remind me there is a very smart, loving and healthy woman under the 19 years of participating willingly in a world of crazy. You all remind me I can change me. I'm still learning and will keep coming back. Please know how important every share is, wether it is Hotrod's calm unshakable strength and wisdom or a brand new person's plea for help that causes me to reflect and grow. I'm so lucky to have found you all...you are remarkable. Thank you. Hugs to all. Have a wonderful week.

Beautiful.

sunmustshine - thank you for that wonderful share. It is powerful to be able to come here and just read the various stories and be reminded that we are not alone in this and that we have more support and understanding then we might have imagined :) <3

I agree, sunsmustshine -- it's all so helpful!

sunmustshine - good to see you again......great, great share - to me, your post is exactly what MIP is all about - being a miracle in progress. Keep doing you and trust the process! Sending positive thoughts to you, husband and daughter!!

Great, powerful share. You sound like you are really doing well in your own recovery. Good for you. Keep it up.

Thanks so much all. I am focusing on being in the moment and grateful one day at a time. Iamhere, it's good to be back. I was away for so long feeling like "I got this" until I realized I was feeling more like, it's about to get me...again. Thank heavens for all of you.