Hi everyone. I was wondering if boundaries and codependency have to do with when they come in and are in a bad mood or when they are constantly negative. How does everyone have boundaries or handle that. I find I start getting depressed after awhile- the therapist just says ignore it and it's not about me but I just can't seem to. I have tried to tell him how it hurts me but he just can't help it. I find myself at a crossroads is this it? This is what I have waited for him to get sober for?
Detached said
Sep 8, 2016
For me, setting boundaries was about keeping ME safe, healthy, and sane. If someone is treating me in an unacceptable way, I have every right to walk away. If they follow I'll get in my car and go do something for me.
Iamhere said
Sep 8, 2016
Welcome to MIP Detached....glad you found us and glad you jumped right in. I agree - and have done exactly what you suggested. I also am reasonably confident mine won't come into the bathroom with the door closed and certainly not the laundry room. I also can choose to put in earbuds and take a walk, turn on the vacuum, go to the gym, grocery store, etc. It takes practice to QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally and to realize and accept it really is about them and not me...
Helpangel - if you use the search function up to the top in the red line, there is another thread from just a day/so ago where we talked a bit about boundaries. That might also help you a bit.
For me, setting boundaries was about keeping ME safe, healthy, and sane. If someone is treating me in an unacceptable way, I have every right to walk away. If they follow I'll get in my car and go do something for me.
Helpangel - if you use the search function up to the top in the red line, there is another thread from just a day/so ago where we talked a bit about boundaries. That might also help you a bit.
Both of you - keep coming back!