hey hey hey everybody so glad to be posting about something takes me a bit to get back in the rythum of it again.so I'm gone from having addicts all around me to having no addicts at all which is a great thing for me,but it's also left me all alone,lonely I keep thinking HALT everyday and it's getting worser I feed myself when I'm hungry and when lonely I visit ppl but still have to come home to a empty house,even my little yorkypoo is beginning to look down I try to cheer him up but it's not working poor lil feller I so relate to him I'm sure he is picking it up from me or just not use to it being just me and him here,when I'm tired I sleep although my sleep pattern is way off these days could be my sleep apnea acting up dunno,when angry I get busy I start doing my projects and finishing up on the ones I haven't finished about done although I've been working myself into a tizzy everyday for the last 3 weeks ,is when my sister moved out there was a lot of extreme trauma there with her and my a/xbf ,now my xbf hangs right over my fence at my neighbors house outside all day everyday,I go about my bus.as usual,and pay him no mind and keep a eye on my yorkypoo he goes wherever I go ,for xbf has let me know in several diff ways that he was gonna steal him from me,didn't know that man could and is that mean ,he is.transitioning isn't easy seems I muddle through each day,I work my steps and read my daily.and when can catch a mip meeting,.im about to finish up with step 4 going into step 5 soon in paths.lots of recovery there been loving it,much needed,.as for balance I feel like I'm walking a tightrope and can't balance myself with everyday life ,needing to get more balance in my life,and to start meditating ,any esh on any of these would be greatly appriciated.its been a month since everything went down here and I'm now slowly but surely coming to a close on all my projects,still downsizing though.in hopes of getting into a diff. Town one day.and it's really hot here we are still in the 90s humidity is high.end of summer fall comeing on......hugs...in recovery lu
lookingup said
Sep 8, 2016
Oh me,just rereading what I posted here,and thinking I'm rambling again and I should have made 2 threads or even 3 threads,of one transitioning,2,balancing life,and 3,meditation.and halt.made for a long post,sorry .do better next time.....hugs lu
Iamhere said
Sep 8, 2016
Hey LU - no right way to create a topic - it's great as it is. I am sorry you are feeling lonely. I remember how strange it was when my boys were gone - so quiet and so different without the chaos/noise from the disease. It took a bit for me to find comfort in it but in time I did.
I also would encourage you to go to as many meetings as you can - that so helped me .... both with my idle time and my idle mind.
Keep coming back here - you are doing just fine! There is always hope and help in recovery.
hotrod said
Sep 8, 2016
Hi LU I found meetings, joining the gym, taking Yoga classes, joining the library, volunteering at the ASPCA helped me to reconnect with the world in a positive manner.
You are sounding great
lookingup said
Sep 9, 2016
Wow,great esh,thanks IAH and Betty for your service,I do need to reconnect with the world for sure and that would be a great place to start meetings,meetings,meetings ftf meetings I need so bad,they are a distance from here and my car is old as I am,lol.so I'm gonna need a back up person in case of breakdown on hwy to meeting,but there's where I'm prolly gonna have to take a giant leap of faith and go for it ,and hopefully prayerfully there will be someone there from here around me that we can car pool ,my hopes anyway cause I know just how crucial those ftf meetings are,I GOTS TO GO,I'm looking at it as life or death for me ,I'm dieting at a slower rate without meetings cause what's keeping me alive and just alive is my steps and daily,not enough for me so I know what I got to do to benefit fully from my recovery work.......hugs lu
zoodvm said
Sep 11, 2016
Posting here since I'm new to Al Anon also, but not new to addiction. Married to my childhood sweetheart; good jobs, 2 kids - boy/girl; we thought we were set for life. But somewhere it all went wrong. Both our kids are addicts (Boy - Heroin/Girl-Alcohol). We've been fighting this for 15 years. Have spent thousands and thousands of dollars and now worried about if we can retire. Both kids in counseling; son is in residential rehab and we're paying out of pocket. Our lives have been reduced to living day to day going to work, coming home. We've given up everything to try to save our kids, now adults. We can't quit/we can't go on. We feel trapped by this disease. My father was an alcoholic and it destroyed our family. I was determined I would never be him. I succeeded, but his curse followed me and is expressed in both my kids. also,
I don't hate much but I HATE addiction. I HATE opiates. I HATE alcohol. I know that's not logical or right, but it's waht I feel. I don't hate the people who are affected by the disease of addction. I just hate the substances as they symbolize to me the pure evil of addiction. My wife and I used to like drinking socially but now the thought of it turns my stomach.
When My son finally left Mexico after living in Tijuana for 5 years and told me he was done I put him into residential rehab...again. As a result, my wife and I are sleeping better but we're still scared. We're scared of the people that our kids associated with; what they told them about us, will we be targeted in some way. We're scared of being unable to retire and finally enjoy what time we have left after working hard our whole lives. We're scared that our kids will just go back to self-destructive behavior and everything it brings and put us all back to square 1 when we have no energy left to fight this fight.
We hope to act on the counselors' recommendations and attend some meetings.
Thank you for providing a forum for people like us to just get things off our chest.
-- Edited by zoodvm on Sunday 11th of September 2016 09:00:48 PM
hotrod said
Sep 11, 2016
Welcome to Miracles in Progress Zoodym I can readily identify with your situation and know how painful it is to witness addiction in a child .
Please do search to al anon face to face meetings in your community and attend It is here I learned to keep the focus on myself, trust a Power greater than myself and developed new constructive tools to live by.
Most importantly, I found a place where I could be honest and receive the support I so desperately needed. There is hope so please do keep coming back
Iamhere said
Sep 12, 2016
I too welcome you to MIP Zoodym. I can also relate to your story and understand your pain. The Al-Anon program, steps, principles and all saved my sanity. My hope for you and your wife is you can get to some meetings, and find your hope and help.
Glad that you have joined our journey here - this is a great place to add to your arsenal of recovery tools. Please keep coming back - there is support and hope in recovery.
hey hey hey everybody so glad to be posting about something takes me a bit to get back in the rythum of it again.so I'm gone from having addicts all around me to having no addicts at all which is a great thing for me,but it's also left me all alone,lonely I keep thinking HALT everyday and it's getting worser I feed myself when I'm hungry and when lonely I visit ppl but still have to come home to a empty house,even my little yorkypoo is beginning to look down I try to cheer him up but it's not working poor lil feller I so relate to him I'm sure he is picking it up from me or just not use to it being just me and him here,when I'm tired I sleep although my sleep pattern is way off these days could be my sleep apnea acting up dunno,when angry I get busy I start doing my projects and finishing up on the ones I haven't finished about done although I've been working myself into a tizzy everyday for the last 3 weeks ,is when my sister moved out there was a lot of extreme trauma there with her and my a/xbf ,now my xbf hangs right over my fence at my neighbors house outside all day everyday,I go about my bus.as usual,and pay him no mind and keep a eye on my yorkypoo he goes wherever I go ,for xbf has let me know in several diff ways that he was gonna steal him from me,didn't know that man could and is that mean ,he is.transitioning isn't easy seems I muddle through each day,I work my steps and read my daily.and when can catch a mip meeting,.im about to finish up with step 4 going into step 5 soon in paths.lots of recovery there been loving it,much needed,.as for balance I feel like I'm walking a tightrope and can't balance myself with everyday life ,needing to get more balance in my life,and to start meditating ,any esh on any of these would be greatly appriciated.its been a month since everything went down here and I'm now slowly but surely coming to a close on all my projects,still downsizing though.in hopes of getting into a diff. Town one day.and it's really hot here we are still in the 90s humidity is high.end of summer fall comeing on......hugs...in recovery lu
I also would encourage you to go to as many meetings as you can - that so helped me .... both with my idle time and my idle mind.
Keep coming back here - you are doing just fine! There is always hope and help in recovery.
You are sounding great
Posting here since I'm new to Al Anon also, but not new to addiction. Married to my childhood sweetheart; good jobs, 2 kids - boy/girl; we thought we were set for life. But somewhere it all went wrong. Both our kids are addicts (Boy - Heroin/Girl-Alcohol). We've been fighting this for 15 years. Have spent thousands and thousands of dollars and now worried about if we can retire. Both kids in counseling; son is in residential rehab and we're paying out of pocket. Our lives have been reduced to living day to day going to work, coming home. We've given up everything to try to save our kids, now adults. We can't quit/we can't go on. We feel trapped by this disease. My father was an alcoholic and it destroyed our family. I was determined I would never be him. I succeeded, but his curse followed me and is expressed in both my kids. also,
I don't hate much but I HATE addiction. I HATE opiates. I HATE alcohol. I know that's not logical or right, but it's waht I feel. I don't hate the people who are affected by the disease of addction. I just hate the substances as they symbolize to me the pure evil of addiction. My wife and I used to like drinking socially but now the thought of it turns my stomach.
When My son finally left Mexico after living in Tijuana for 5 years and told me he was done I put him into residential rehab...again. As a result, my wife and I are sleeping better but we're still scared. We're scared of the people that our kids associated with; what they told them about us, will we be targeted in some way. We're scared of being unable to retire and finally enjoy what time we have left after working hard our whole lives. We're scared that our kids will just go back to self-destructive behavior and everything it brings and put us all back to square 1 when we have no energy left to fight this fight.
We hope to act on the counselors' recommendations and attend some meetings.
Thank you for providing a forum for people like us to just get things off our chest.
-- Edited by zoodvm on Sunday 11th of September 2016 09:00:48 PM
Please do search to al anon face to face meetings in your community and attend It is here I learned to keep the focus on myself, trust a Power greater than myself and developed new constructive tools to live by.
Most importantly, I found a place where I could be honest and receive the support I so desperately needed. There is hope so please do keep coming back
Glad that you have joined our journey here - this is a great place to add to your arsenal of recovery tools. Please keep coming back - there is support and hope in recovery.