I read a quote or a saying today that said "AA promises sobriety to the alcoholic - Al-Anon promises serenity to the person that loves the alcoholic".  I LOVE THAT SAYING.  It makes me feel like there is hope for me to have a peaceful and stable life again.   And the ex ABF can have his sobriety - good for him - but I will have PEACE, HAPPINESS and SERENITY!!!  It doesn't get much better than that!