I am new to Al Anon and I am new to this forum. The A in my life is my adult sister (who I live with). She is not sober but she is trying (I am thankful for this). When she drinks, she becomes very emotional and very angry/irate specifically towards me. I know that it is the disease talking and my mother (who also lives in the house) tells me not to take it personally. When she is not drinking, my sister is my best friend. When she is drinking, she is hurtful and spiteful. I try to walk away and close my door. She does not respect those boundaries. My only option is to physically leave my house and I don't want to live my life like that - being chased out of my home by my sisters verbal abuse. When I do leave, she calls and texts and when I don't answer, she accuses me of not caring and turning my back on her and holds that grudge against me. I can tell myself it is the disease but I don't know if I am strong enough to handle the verbal abuse and not take it personally. I am at a loss on how to handle it anymore. It would break my heart to cut her (and my niece and nephew) out of my life.
-- Edited by Bee22 on Thursday 25th of August 2016 02:43:43 PM
-- Edited by Bee22 on Thursday 25th of August 2016 03:19:15 PM
hotrod said
Aug 25, 2016
Welcome Bee Alcoholism is a chronic progressive disease over which we are powerless. We who live with the disease need a program of recovery due to insanity that we need to cope with
.Alanon is that progrm. You are not alone and face to face metings areheld in most communities Please check out he white pages of the hotline number and call . There is hope
Bee22 said
Aug 25, 2016
Thank you Betty! I attended my first meeting the other night and it was extremely helping. The topic was "Let Go and Let God" and I thought to myself "Did they know I was coming?!" I will attend again.
Iamhere said
Aug 25, 2016
Hey there Bee22 - welcome to MIP - so glad you found us and joined in to share! I had difficulty in not taking personal verbal assaults personally in the beginning. What I found out in my home was it was a pattern that we all participated in. So, when I did things differently, and stopped responded, it became less 'fun' for them and they found something else to do with their time. I understand not wanting to leave each time - I ended up putting a lock on my door to my bedroom. They would still pound, knock - stand outside and say my name 100 times - I would put in ear buds and just pray - Bless Them, Change Me...
The meetings and the program helped me understand more about the disease and the diseased as well as gave me new ways to be, act, react and heal. There is help and hope in recovery for us, no matter what they are/are not doing.
I am new to Al Anon and I am new to this forum. The A in my life is my adult sister (who I live with). She is not sober but she is trying (I am thankful for this). When she drinks, she becomes very emotional and very angry/irate specifically towards me. I know that it is the disease talking and my mother (who also lives in the house) tells me not to take it personally. When she is not drinking, my sister is my best friend. When she is drinking, she is hurtful and spiteful. I try to walk away and close my door. She does not respect those boundaries. My only option is to physically leave my house and I don't want to live my life like that - being chased out of my home by my sisters verbal abuse. When I do leave, she calls and texts and when I don't answer, she accuses me of not caring and turning my back on her and holds that grudge against me. I can tell myself it is the disease but I don't know if I am strong enough to handle the verbal abuse and not take it personally. I am at a loss on how to handle it anymore. It would break my heart to cut her (and my niece and nephew) out of my life.
-- Edited by Bee22 on Thursday 25th of August 2016 02:43:43 PM
-- Edited by Bee22 on Thursday 25th of August 2016 03:19:15 PM
.Alanon is that progrm. You are not alone and face to face metings areheld in most communities Please check out he white pages of the hotline number and call . There is hope
The meetings and the program helped me understand more about the disease and the diseased as well as gave me new ways to be, act, react and heal. There is help and hope in recovery for us, no matter what they are/are not doing.
Keep coming back!