This has got to be a tough one , responsibilities, what are my resonsibilities and what belongs to them? And in what ways am I accountible for my recovery program? What is mine and what is not my responsibility? Lots of ?s here that are hard to answer I've always taken on all and everybody else's responsibility till I couldn't do it no more and then I'd try again,lol,to no avail just end in bad way cause they be upset or angry that I couldn't ,wouldn't do it for them.........hugs lu
Calm Lady said
Aug 18, 2016
My experience with this was that as I worked my program, made my changes and built my self esteem, it gradually got clearer and clearer what was my responsibly and what was not.
My body started to tell me by its reactions. Gut reactions I had been trained as a child to ignore them. I started honouring them. Which in turn built more self esteem.
I reexamined my thinking process. Questioned it. Amended it.
It feels very natural now. I instinctively know what I need do and not do.
I am not perfect of course and slip sometimes.
lookingup said
Aug 18, 2016
Thank you calm lady for replying with such great esh,responsibilities has stumped me somehow,even though I may know it I'm just so caught up in the moment of having to make so many difficult dicisions toward dealing with who and what is responsible for......hugs lu
Calm Lady said
Aug 18, 2016
You are welcome, Looking up. What I now realise I forgot to say was at the start I learnt not react to anything. To keep my mouth firmly closed. This helped enormously. My knee jerk reaction to a situation, especially some one manipulating me lead to disaster!
hotrod said
Aug 18, 2016
Hi Lu I define my responsibilities by asking what did I commit myself to financially, emotionally or physically. I know I must be responsible for my food, shelter, health and entertainment I can review these comittments from time to time and change them. Other people's responsibilities are theirs- their health, food , shelter and entertainment If I like I can negotiate with them as to shared responsibilities and make sure each person knows the boundary.
Progress not perfection is the key.
lookingup said
Aug 18, 2016
Thank you Betty ,I failed to say that this is from working my 4 th step it's in the blueprintforprogress,all about responsibilities ,and your do right it is simple enough,I've just become overwhelmed with it,and thought I would and should share it......lu
hotrod said
Aug 18, 2016
Keep on answering a few questions each day It will become easier and clear
This has got to be a tough one , responsibilities, what are my resonsibilities and what belongs to them? And in what ways am I accountible for my recovery program? What is mine and what is not my responsibility? Lots of ?s here that are hard to answer I've always taken on all and everybody else's responsibility till I couldn't do it no more and then I'd try again,lol,to no avail just end in bad way cause they be upset or angry that I couldn't ,wouldn't do it for them.........hugs lu
My body started to tell me by its reactions. Gut reactions I had been trained as a child to ignore them. I started honouring them. Which in turn built more self esteem.
I reexamined my thinking process. Questioned it. Amended it.
It feels very natural now. I instinctively know what I need do and not do.
I am not perfect of course and slip sometimes.
Hi Lu I define my responsibilities by asking what did I commit myself to financially, emotionally or physically. I know I must be responsible for my food, shelter, health and entertainment I can review these comittments from time to time and change them. Other people's responsibilities are theirs- their health, food , shelter and entertainment If I like I can negotiate with them as to shared responsibilities and make sure each person knows the boundary.
Progress not perfection is the key.