Hi~So I am in the process of buying a townhouse and when I retire in the spring, I will be living half time away from my A. I am so excited and I can't believe I am taking this step. Of course it is only through alanon that I gained the strength to do this. But occasionally I have this thought of what if I get squashed on the thruway right before or after I move in? I know it's a waste of energy to worry about the future and ODAT is the way to go. I do believe I deserve good things and my A has been rejecting me for years. Perhaps I have this thought because my A is now really upset. She never thought I would actually do this move but I've been talking about it for 5 years. So is it my guilt? I know it is HP's will, not mine. I just don't want to keep having this thought. Any ESH would be appreciated, Lyne
Jill said
Aug 17, 2016
Oh that is huge in doing this for yourself. I am inspired.
I am waiting for the moving van to deliver my furniture where I'm moving. I think one day at a time is too long sometimes. Shorter times are fine, too. I've had in the back of my mind how I would love living here for roughly FIFTY YEARS. Now I'm here!
I imagine myself stepping off a cliff. Then I remember the fabulous sense of flying to a beautiful destination. I am grateful to be the risk taker (relative to the frozen in place terrified mouse I was before) I am today. Lynn, I remind myself I did the homework. I checked out the neighborhood, the finances, the meetings, etc. before I leaped with my al-anon toolkit in hand.
Hooray for us all. What a gift.
Jerry F said
Aug 17, 2016
Lyne try this recovery thought...for "what iffing"...in order to stay in balance you also have to "what if notting"...see ((((hugs))))
LinSC said
Aug 17, 2016
"Fear of good things" how interesting. That feeling happens to me, but I have worked with the Alanon tools and now I realize and have come to the awareness that I deserve the "good things". You do too! Forgive yourself for the past, and move on to a better life Lyne.... linsc
Iamhere said
Aug 18, 2016
I missed this yesterday but what a great topic.....so often, my life goes better than expected and I still tend to wonder 'what if'. I remain hopeful that one day, I can be grateful and at peace in all scenarios via auto-pilot vs. conscious thinking. In the meantime, I remind myself it is not about good and bad - today often it is good and good. Or even good and better.
I agree that there are many days where I must live in smaller increments - the moment if you will. I too am inspired by your courage to make this change. Take HP with you all through-out your journey and I believe all will be exactly as it should be!
(((Hugs))) - you got this!
savingmyself said
Aug 18, 2016
Lyne, I can unfortunately relate to your plight of 'what iffing'... I do it all day everyday and am only slowly finding a few moments a day where I can challenge the thoughts. I suppose it's a start. I'm so glad you are finally carrying out one of your dreams to retire without your A in a townhouse. All 'what iffing' aside I think it will be great. Good luck to you.
Freetime said
Aug 18, 2016
Congratulations, Lyne and Jill, on your plans. I also am an expert at worrying. A line that helps me, which I heard from an Alanon friend, is "If you're going to make s*** up, why not make up good s***?" This helps me get off the worry train.
Hi~So I am in the process of buying a townhouse and when I retire in the spring, I will be living half time away from my A. I am so excited and I can't believe I am taking this step. Of course it is only through alanon that I gained the strength to do this. But occasionally I have this thought of what if I get squashed on the thruway right before or after I move in? I know it's a waste of energy to worry about the future and ODAT is the way to go. I do believe I deserve good things and my A has been rejecting me for years. Perhaps I have this thought because my A is now really upset. She never thought I would actually do this move but I've been talking about it for 5 years. So is it my guilt? I know it is HP's will, not mine. I just don't want to keep having this thought. Any ESH would be appreciated, Lyne
I am waiting for the moving van to deliver my furniture where I'm moving. I think one day at a time is too long sometimes. Shorter times are fine, too. I've had in the back of my mind how I would love living here for roughly FIFTY YEARS. Now I'm here!
I imagine myself stepping off a cliff. Then I remember the fabulous sense of flying to a beautiful destination. I am grateful to be the risk taker (relative to the frozen in place terrified mouse I was before) I am today. Lynn, I remind myself I did the homework. I checked out the neighborhood, the finances, the meetings, etc. before I leaped with my al-anon toolkit in hand.
Hooray for us all. What a gift.
Lyne try this recovery thought...for "what iffing"...in order to stay in balance you also have to "what if notting"...see ((((hugs))))
"Fear of good things" how interesting. That feeling happens to me, but I have worked with the Alanon tools and now I realize and have come to the awareness that I deserve the "good things". You do too! Forgive yourself for the past, and move on to a better life Lyne.... linsc
I agree that there are many days where I must live in smaller increments - the moment if you will. I too am inspired by your courage to make this change. Take HP with you all through-out your journey and I believe all will be exactly as it should be!
(((Hugs))) - you got this!