As most of you know I've had to make my a/sister move from my home,got my peace back in my home so I thought,my sister and xa/bf hook up and start hanging out at my neighbors next door ,also addicts,I lose my billfold the other day thought I'd just misplaced it only to find out later that I'd dropped it in my yard and xbf who a next door finds it and uses my debit card everywhere ,draining my checking account ,then burns my billfold .ive lost all my identity ,I kept everything in it,all gone.i filed police report and investigater got right on it,every where they had used it there was camras ,thank gosh for cameras ,there were 3 involved in the crime,my xa/bf being the main one,their sitting in jail at present under a stiff bond and being a felony each time they used my card,investigated said I may have to come to court he didn't know but would contact me if I should.also asked me if I wanted to press charges ,I said yes I did.xbf has been stalking me for a while,this has to stop,im gonna ask also for a restraining order against him.my a/ sister wasn't involved in it but she had left the day it was done,so not really having any facts if she had a hand in it to,and probably never know we will never speak again for she blames me for making her homeless ,lots of things I'd wish I'd done diff,i.e. Never invited her to come stay with me,a disaster that ended in a nightmare of kicking her out.and having a/ bf come and stay in my home at the same time,another huge mistake,2 addicts in my home = disaster nightmare,.never again.im all alone now and better off.still have guilty feelings of the way I acted and my part in it .ie,kicking them out and not thinking before I speak,should have put this in 2 diff,posts ,of my billfold being stole and having to literally kick my sister out,on my grounds of not really facts of things I accused her of,,i.e. Stealing from me,and just couldn't get along with her............my rant for the day........thanks for allowing me to rant,this is traumatizing to me ......hugs lu....... This all happened a week ago today,my world been spinning since,but everyday being a healing day.......
Calm Lady said
Aug 14, 2016
Sorry to hear this. I hope you find peace and that your world stops spinning soon.i relate to what you say.
If I may share that I have addict relative, I went No Contact. It allowed peace back into my life.
lookingup said
Aug 14, 2016
Thank you calm lady for sharing that,no contact is right and so true,this has been a very hard lesson learned,I've also journaled about it all that helps to,cause we sometimes forget about a lot of incidents.
hotrod said
Aug 14, 2016
((LU)) I am so sorry to read of this unfortunate happening. It is great that the police are involved and that you are pursing the case.
I do understand your reviewing the events of your sister's stay, seeing your part and owning it as that is what the 4th an 5 th Step is all about -- Now instead of beating yourself up-- you can forgive yourself, rest and become entirely ready to have HP lift your tendency to enable (6th Step) and then ask for this to be done (7 th Step)
You are doing great working the program -- Remember being gentle with yourself is a must Beating yourself up is not an alanon tool. :)
lookingup said
Aug 14, 2016
Thank you Betty,I don't know how all this is goo a unfold but I'm just doing the next right thing and that's pursuing the charges and leavening the rest up to hp trusting in the outcome of whatever it is that hp has in store.im glad I finally got around to posting this for I sat in fear with it for days ,fearing xbf would bond out and come after me to drop the charges,hopeifully not ,even with a restraining order in place doesn't guarantee my safety when it comes to dangerous sit with addicts that are and been known to be dangerous,I'm leaving all this in my hp hands ,trusting him for its his will not mine,I'm sure everything will be ok,for hp has got this and is very aware to my sit......lu
lookingup said
Aug 14, 2016
Feels good getting all this off my chest here.....hugs........what a relief.
Calm Lady said
Aug 14, 2016
Glad you feel better for getting it off your chest.
I am the same way, putting it into words and sharing them lightens the load.
Best wishes to you.
lookingup said
Aug 14, 2016
Jen61 said
Aug 14, 2016
So glad the police got on this as fast as they did. I hope all goes well.
Iamhere said
Aug 14, 2016
(((LU))) - good job taking care of you. Take it one day/one moment at a time and trust the process!
lookingup said
Aug 14, 2016
Thanks Jen,and it is great they got right on it indeed,iamhere ty to for the reminder one day or in my case it's been one min at a time,he is still locked up I can't help but wonder if he has somebody to pay his bond and how long he will sit in there,his bond is set at 4800 so it's 10% of that around 500 dollars .invstigater told me that they were gonna insist he paid restitution and paid me back the 267 dollars he stole from me,my bank had me do a dispute on each of the transactions he done off my debit card and said I'd get my money back,so I'm to call my bank 1st thing to tell them they got the thief in jail. This has been a total nightmare ,and I'm hopeing I don't have to go to court for I'm stressed enough without having go and deal with it anymore,and I have lots of places to be and calls to make to get all my identity back and insurance cards ,I can't even remember what all things I kept in that billfold,I know it was everything I needed and will have to replace,take me a while to get it all back,stressful,without even having to go to court over all this mess,someone said that the state may pick it up if I were not to show up for court,it's prolly best I show up for court . I really need any and all esh from my family alanoners here,on what or how and all the ifs ands and buts of this sit.im keeping headaches over this,slept a lot today just chilling today not feeling good.good news is my house is slowly but surely getting back the way i liked it ,taken over a week a little here and a little there I'm about to get it together,I even cooked me a good meal today,felt good,and had company over for a bit they prayed with me that felt good to.and been listening to good wholesome speakers.just laying around being lazy today that feels good to we all deserve our lazy days .lol...........y'all are my family here,best family I've ever had......hugs..lu
As most of you know I've had to make my a/sister move from my home,got my peace back in my home so I thought,my sister and xa/bf hook up and start hanging out at my neighbors next door ,also addicts,I lose my billfold the other day thought I'd just misplaced it only to find out later that I'd dropped it in my yard and xbf who a next door finds it and uses my debit card everywhere ,draining my checking account ,then burns my billfold .ive lost all my identity ,I kept everything in it,all gone.i filed police report and investigater got right on it,every where they had used it there was camras ,thank gosh for cameras ,there were 3 involved in the crime,my xa/bf being the main one,their sitting in jail at present under a stiff bond and being a felony each time they used my card,investigated said I may have to come to court he didn't know but would contact me if I should.also asked me if I wanted to press charges ,I said yes I did.xbf has been stalking me for a while,this has to stop,im gonna ask also for a restraining order against him.my a/ sister wasn't involved in it but she had left the day it was done,so not really having any facts if she had a hand in it to,and probably never know we will never speak again for she blames me for making her homeless ,lots of things I'd wish I'd done diff,i.e. Never invited her to come stay with me,a disaster that ended in a nightmare of kicking her out.and having a/ bf come and stay in my home at the same time,another huge mistake,2 addicts in my home = disaster nightmare,.never again.im all alone now and better off.still have guilty feelings of the way I acted and my part in it .ie,kicking them out and not thinking before I speak,should have put this in 2 diff,posts ,of my billfold being stole and having to literally kick my sister out,on my grounds of not really facts of things I accused her of,,i.e. Stealing from me,and just couldn't get along with her............my rant for the day........thanks for allowing me to rant,this is traumatizing to me ......hugs lu....... This all happened a week ago today,my world been spinning since,but everyday being a healing day.......
If I may share that I have addict relative, I went No Contact. It allowed peace back into my life.
((LU)) I am so sorry to read of this unfortunate happening. It is great that the police are involved and that you are pursing the case.
I do understand your reviewing the events of your sister's stay, seeing your part and owning it as that is what the 4th an 5 th Step is all about -- Now instead of beating yourself up-- you can forgive yourself, rest and become entirely ready to have HP lift your tendency to enable (6th Step) and then ask for this to be done (7 th Step)
You are doing great working the program -- Remember being gentle with yourself is a must Beating yourself up is not an alanon tool. :)
I am the same way, putting it into words and sharing them lightens the load.
Best wishes to you.