It's a new month!  Today's reading talks about coming to the program in the hopes of fixing our qualifier.  We came often to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that our lives would then return to normal once they were 'fixed'.  In the Al-Anon program, we come to understand that we did not cause the disease, we can't control the disease and we can't cure the disease.  Our loved Three C's!  

We can though apply the Twelve Steps to our own lives, so that we can find sanity and contentment whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.  We learn in Al-Anon to keep the focus on us - not beyond us.

Many of us discover that we had problems of our own that need attention.  Many of us had changed in unhealthy ways as we tried to cope with the disease of alcoholism.  These changes often occurred so slowly that we hadn't even been aware of them.  We share openly about these changes in meetings, and become willing to let go of attitudes that no longer seem appropriate.  With the help of a higher power, we begin to shed self-destructive habits.  In time, we feel we are on the path of regaining our true selves.  We begin to grow again.

Today's reminder ---- I do not respond well when someone tries to impose their will on me; why have I tried to impose my will on those around me?  There is only one person I am responsible for, and that is me.  There is only one person who can make my life as full as possible - that, too is me.

Today's quote from ... In All Our Affairs ---- "Today I will keep hands off and keep my focus where it belongs, on me."

I am guilty of arriving at Al-Anon expecting answers on how to make those around me get well.  I already knew and understood the disease concept, but I did not fully appreciate how very powerless I really was.  After all, in my scenario, two of my qualifiers were my children - why on Earth could I not control/fix/change them?

I quickly learned that the disease does not discriminate and God does not have grand-children.  For me, when I heard the Three C's and practiced listening, I felt I could breathe deep - deeper than I had in a long time.  I felt and believed that I was at fault and that I was failing because I could not control or cure my qualifiers.

I had a 'sick kit' that I had stuffed full while battling the disease.  It included self-pity, over-reacting, over-analyzing, blame, shame, sadness, resentments, ego, yelling and so, so much more!  I truly felt I was healthy and they were the sick ones.  It was pointed out to me that our views, attitudes, outlooks, mannerisms and reactions are often distorted by battling the disease and this stopped me in my tracks.  I was not a happy camper in the beginning when I was told I had to work on me and change if I wanted a different life, but slowly I came to believe the truth as those who worked this program were tons more happy and peaceful that I was.

So, I dug in and kept an open mind and followed suggestions in this program.  I am renewed in spirit, attitude and faith.  The program is simple, the effort is not.  The struggle to let go of old ways and thoughts was real, but I'm making progress each day.  Come join us in recovery - for me, it's been well worth the effort and journey!

Make it a great Monday MIP family!  Grateful for all of you!

Hi IAH  Thanks for your service.  I too came to alanon to learn how to fix everyone else--after all I thought  I was  perfect..  Not so  

Simplyby  attending meetings, reading the literature, it soon became evident that I had some issues of my own to reflect on.  I finally saw how my attittudes and unrealistic expectations were hurting me. I then decided to work the Steps and slogans to "fix" myself.  How wonderful was that!!

 Thank you alanon I no longer self destruct and if I do, I see it and have tools to respond differently.

Have a great day.