Just a quick vent.....I have been trying to write something for over 30 minutes now and after being interrupted a few too many times for really important things like "where is an inkpen?, Who is on the phone?, What are you doing?, What is ESH?, I thought you were going out?, Why can't I read what your writing?, and on and on and on.....") well, I have lost my train of thought. So my topic was changed from "acceptance of ourselves" to "AGGRAVATED" because that is now what I am feeling. I am so easily distracted by what is going on around me. Since starting this post I have been interrupted a few more times......my A is in need of attention
What I am feeling right now reminds me that I am new to recovery and am still very affected/distracted by what is going on around me.....do I really understand detachment?????? With family, work, and a busy household how do we carve out private uninterrupted time to do what we need to do to grow and take care of ourselves? What are some of the ways you all have found to do this?
Your friend in recovery,
Michelle
flintfeet said
Jan 20, 2006
i understand about the whole attention thing (but mine is with my kids). everytime i want to do something private, everyone NEEDS me. even for stupid little things. i have been trying some new things that might help you:
if i don't want to be bugged at all-i go to the gym alone. it is good and healthy for me, i can read, listen to music, go into the sauna with a pen & paper and write about my feelings b/c there are no distractions in there and get my frustrations out (if you don't go to the gym-take a long walk/run). also, it sounds kind of corney, but i put a sign up on my door. when i need alone time (& my hubbie can watch our little ones), i put a "do ont disturb" sign on the door. sometimes all you need is a few minutes of quiet. this works for me, hope it works for you.
flintfeet
hudsond said
Jan 20, 2006
Michelle--loved your post!! That is so my life!! Barely do I ever get 2 minutes of uninterrupted time! My a does a wonderful phone thing--when I'm on the phone, he picks up another extension in the house and just says whatever comes to mind or what ever he feels like talking about to whoever I'm talking to. (My sister's husband always has to be incuded in her phone conversations as well and he isn't even an a).
Unfortunately the only time I have to myself is first thing in the morning getting ready for work before I have to wake up everyone else--I don't even like mornings!!--But it's the only quiet time I get and to get time that I would really enjoy I would need to get up even earlier, and so far I'm just not willing to do that!
Good luck!
Dawn
Cilla said
Jan 20, 2006
Yup, can understand that! A few years back there was myself, my husband (pretending to be in recovery), four children (1 mine and 3 ours), another student that was living with us in order to graduate from school and lastly, my mother in law (whom I still sponsor in the program today). I believe that made 8 of us. Add that to a dog, a few cats, birds, fish, etc... mice?
I learned that in order to have privacy, it was my responsibility to communicate that first and foremost I need x amount of time to myself in order to do whatever it was that I needed to to at that moment, and that unless there was an absolute true emergency I wouldn't be available. Then, if any of the above required something from me, I would gently (after much practice) remind them that I would be with them at a designated time. That was one boundry that I became good at and do respect others when it is necessary for them as well. I'm glad that I learned that as today part of my job allows me to work at my office at home, so it is already accepted that mom has to concentrate. (Especially when my fibro is in a flare). So... yes, it is easy to become exasperated, a bit more difficult to begin to set the boundaries necessary for us to function a bit better, however, not impossible!
Best of Luck to you!
Luv
Cilla
afglin said
Jan 21, 2006
My A used to come in to watch what I was typing and reading. He'd walk behind me and look over my shoulder. He is not very knowledgeable abotu computers so I figured a great way to get him off my back. I'd open a very casual site such as recipes. I'd minimize it to the botom. Then if he walked in the room I'd click it up and it replaced the recovery site I was reading.
I can understand your vent. I totally relate to how paranoid and nosey they can be.
Just a quick vent.....I have been trying to write something for over 30 minutes now and after being interrupted a few too many times for really important things like "where is an inkpen?, Who is on the phone?, What are you doing?, What is ESH?, I thought you were going out?, Why can't I read what your writing?, and on and on and on.....") well, I have lost my train of thought. So my topic was changed from "acceptance of ourselves" to "AGGRAVATED" because that is now what I am feeling. I am so easily distracted by what is going on around me. Since starting this post I have been interrupted a few more times......my A is in need of attention
What I am feeling right now reminds me that I am new to recovery and am still very affected/distracted by what is going on around me.....do I really understand detachment?????? With family, work, and a busy household how do we carve out private uninterrupted time to do what we need to do to grow and take care of ourselves? What are some of the ways you all have found to do this?
Your friend in recovery,
Michelle
i understand about the whole attention thing (but mine is with my kids). everytime i want to do something private, everyone NEEDS me. even for stupid little things. i have been trying some new things that might help you:
if i don't want to be bugged at all-i go to the gym alone. it is good and healthy for me, i can read, listen to music, go into the sauna with a pen & paper and write about my feelings b/c there are no distractions in there and get my frustrations out (if you don't go to the gym-take a long walk/run). also, it sounds kind of corney, but i put a sign up on my door. when i need alone time (& my hubbie can watch our little ones), i put a "do ont disturb" sign on the door. sometimes all you need is a few minutes of quiet. this works for me, hope it works for you.
flintfeet
Michelle--loved your post!! That is so my life!! Barely do I ever get 2 minutes of uninterrupted time! My a does a wonderful phone thing--when I'm on the phone, he picks up another extension in the house and just says whatever comes to mind or what ever he feels like talking about to whoever I'm talking to. (My sister's husband always has to be incuded in her phone conversations as well and he isn't even an a).
Unfortunately the only time I have to myself is first thing in the morning getting ready for work before I have to wake up everyone else--I don't even like mornings!!--But it's the only quiet time I get and to get time that I would really enjoy I would need to get up even earlier, and so far I'm just not willing to do that!
Good luck!
Dawn
Yup, can understand that! A few years back there was myself, my husband (pretending to be in recovery), four children (1 mine and 3 ours), another student that was living with us in order to graduate from school and lastly, my mother in law (whom I still sponsor in the program today). I believe that made 8 of us. Add that to a dog, a few cats, birds, fish, etc... mice?
I learned that in order to have privacy, it was my responsibility to communicate that first and foremost I need x amount of time to myself in order to do whatever it was that I needed to to at that moment, and that unless there was an absolute true emergency I wouldn't be available. Then, if any of the above required something from me, I would gently (after much practice) remind them that I would be with them at a designated time. That was one boundry that I became good at and do respect others when it is necessary for them as well. I'm glad that I learned that as today part of my job allows me to work at my office at home, so it is already accepted that mom has to concentrate. (Especially when my fibro is in a flare). So... yes, it is easy to become exasperated, a bit more difficult to begin to set the boundaries necessary for us to function a bit better, however, not impossible!
Best of Luck to you!
Luv
Cilla
My A used to come in to watch what I was typing and reading. He'd walk behind me and look over my shoulder. He is not very knowledgeable abotu computers so I figured a great way to get him off my back. I'd open a very casual site such as recipes. I'd minimize it to the botom. Then if he walked in the room I'd click it up and it replaced the recovery site I was reading.
I can understand your vent. I totally relate to how paranoid and nosey they can be.
Take care of yourself.
LIN