i am posting on another board now and we got into a discussion as to WHY we struggle so much with the "trust in god/hp" thingy...a lot of us felt forsaken during our childhoods.....i thought u guys may get something out of this......
hey all i just thought of this, as i was getting ready to stop my postings for today......when i sent my post "where was god during my hell???" and the resultant struggle with trusting in any hp, i got this FLASH!!! for all of us who wonder/ felt forsaken by our HP during our abuse....this is my take on WHAT happened!!!! take what U want...leave the rest!!!!!
maybe THIS is why_______
>>>>rosie>>>>just got this flash!!!! ok, so we are here under choice and free will....and our **god within** is really WITHIN us....so the perp attacks me... and DISconnects me from my own self...and that includes my god within, so i cannot FIND my hp...i am disconnected....(injury to the holy spirit???) anyway, becuz i am disconnected from my hp, THAT is why i **perceive** he/she/it has "abandoned" me during the abuse....when in fact i was DISconnected from me/ from my INNER higher power and thus unable to do what i had to do to tap into it......maybe that is what the bible means by the sin of "injury to the holy spirit" is unforgivable to the creator....becuz the child is LITERALLY separated from her god by this violent disconnecting by his/her attacker...... i was cut off from my own higher power.....now as i find ME, i can REconnect the lines that were cut so long ago.....the slogan "let it begin with me" REALLY rings true to me.......i have to find ME, B4 i can find a relationship with my INNER higher power.........i just flashed upon this....what do ya'll think????? AND when i think i can't find god, i find what i need in LOVE!!!!!
Christy said
Jan 16, 2006
Rosie,
Thanks for sharing that.
That's an interesting concept.
Many times people have wondered where HP is/was..Which reminds me of the "Footprints in the Sand poem".
Christy
Maria123 said
Jan 16, 2006
(((Rosie))),
I find that I feel my God had left me when I actually left myself, gave up on myself, or thought I was doomed to a life of gloom. When in fact my HP, whom I call God, never abandoned me. It was me forcing my will and not seeing the signs God gave me and not listening to the messages. For me, when life is going smooth, I know it's because I have given my control over to God. When I am struggling, it's because of some other person's will or my own.
Thanks for posting,
Maria123
The above is my adult version of life Rosie
As a child, we really are helpless and powerless and we rely on our parents or caretakers to take good care of us. Clearly many of our parents have failed us miserably. But today as an adult, I need to remember that I am not a victim any more. I am not that helpless child that was left to fend on her own. Today I DO HAVE POWER over myself and for that and this amazing program, I am grateful. I hope this helps. Maria
-- Edited by Maria123 at 13:01, 2006-01-16
jersey1 said
Jan 16, 2006
this isnt quite the forum for this as i will be talking about something other than an alanon issue but i wanted to reach out and identify with you.
i had a sexual assualt happen to me and i did infact disassociate from the world the occurance, my feelings and god.
i found that it was the only way i could process the information going into my mind all at once....its alot to go through in seconds of time and its like you just dont have enough time to process anytrhing you just want to survive it and make life normal again.
i applaud all your efforts to get these feelings out and to go through the process of sorting through the information that your mind coudnt handle at that exact moment(s)
god was there when he protected your mind by allowing you to deal with it in your time not the perps.
hang in there girl keep sharing and thanks.
-- Edited by jersey1 at 13:05, 2006-01-16
rosie light shines said
Jan 16, 2006
the reason why i offered this share on this forum is becuz i did grow up with my drunken mom...was married to an A....i have TWO brothers who are "A's" and they are IN my life, and this program helps me cope with them so much better....
and it was my mother's drinking that prevented her from protecting me of at least 6 years of assaults by my father.....i qualify for alanon becuz i was severaly impacted by alcholism...... my X with whom i split in may 200 was an A
i offered this becuz so many of us here had that evil happen to us....(you would be amazed how many of us here on this board, AND the AA board when through incest, as part of their alcoholic/ disfunctional home........
thank u ALL for your GR8 shares on this......this was a "flash" i had over the weekend, and i HAD to share it, cuz so many of us struggle with the "god stuff".....i thought this, even tho it is just my take, i really think this will help all of us with our struggles with hp, et al........thank u / rosie
Heather1 said
Jan 16, 2006
Thank you, Rosie. I really needed this post today. Many thanks for sharing.
Warm regards, Heather
kitty said
Jan 16, 2006
Wow! Rosie, thanks for sharing your spiritual growth... as we are all disconnected in one form or another through this terrible disease.
You & I have had lots of talk about HP ~ God/dess ~ it is a Blessing to see you reconnecting & I couldn't agree with your words/realisation more.
Thanks for sharing it!
love, -K
p.s. FYI ~ stats on rape are 1:4 women ~ that is what is reported, I can't imagine what the truth is. Many children are molested, raped & beaten to death by sick parents. I know many here at this Board that have been treated this way by their own families &/or grew up being molested.
Anyone can be raped at any time - there are a lot of violent ppl out there that commit these acts of hatred daily to strangers. I guess one of the posts above, struck a chord in me & I became a little angry - when I see elderly ppl getting raped, beaten in their own homes by crimminals daily on the news.
I'm sure I'm just being over-sensitive as usual.
-- Edited by kitty at 20:57, 2006-01-16
-- Edited by kitty at 22:09, 2006-01-16
bobump said
Jan 17, 2006
This is my 3rd try posting this ! arrrrrgh...darn internet
Wow Rosie,
Well I posted and it's lost.
I'm glad you took the time to post this here. I've always thought our lives were a combination of free will and fate. Then from some sharing by alanoners the concept of our HP wanting us to choose him(her) with our freewill was introduced to me. I've come to believe this.
I've never thought of it quite like you posted, but it makes so much sense, I wonder how I haven't. How can we expect ourselves to connect to our HP, when we can't connect with ourselves?
My A was sexually abused as a child. At risk of taking her inventory, I've seen that disconnect in herself as well. My wife does struggle once in awhile to try to find her HP but it's usually fleeting. I do feel so badly for her for what that abuse did to her. I think I thought at one time I could help her past it. I think I really thought I could 'fix' her. Just the thought of that makes me very sad. And in doing so I just contributed to her illnesses, fed my own, and modeled crap behaviors for my children. :
Thanks for sharing this thought w/ us Rosie.
Bob
i am posting on another board now and we got into a discussion as to WHY we struggle so much with the "trust in god/hp" thingy...a lot of us felt forsaken during our childhoods.....i thought u guys may get something out of this......
____________________________________________________
hey all i just thought of this, as i was getting ready to stop my postings for today......when i sent my post "where was god during my hell???" and the resultant struggle with trusting in any hp, i got this FLASH!!! for all of us who wonder/ felt forsaken by our HP during our abuse....this is my take on WHAT happened!!!! take what U want...leave the rest!!!!!
maybe THIS is why_______
>>>>rosie>>>>just got this flash!!!! ok, so we are here under choice and free will....and our **god within** is really WITHIN us....so the perp attacks me... and DISconnects me from my own self...and that includes my god within, so i cannot FIND my hp...i am disconnected....(injury to the holy spirit???) anyway, becuz i am disconnected from my hp, THAT is why i **perceive** he/she/it has "abandoned" me during the abuse....when in fact i was DISconnected from me/ from my INNER higher power and thus unable to do what i had to do to tap into it......maybe that is what the bible means by the sin of "injury to the holy spirit" is unforgivable to the creator....becuz the child is LITERALLY separated from her god by this violent disconnecting by his/her attacker...... i was cut off from my own higher power.....now as i find ME, i can REconnect the lines that were cut so long ago.....the slogan "let it begin with me" REALLY rings true to me.......i have to find ME, B4 i can find a relationship with my INNER higher power.........i just flashed upon this....what do ya'll think????? AND when i think i can't find god, i find what i need in LOVE!!!!!
(((Rosie))),
I find that I feel my God had left me when I actually left myself, gave up on myself, or thought I was doomed to a life of gloom. When in fact my HP, whom I call God, never abandoned me. It was me forcing my will and not seeing the signs God gave me and not listening to the messages. For me, when life is going smooth, I know it's because I have given my control over to God. When I am struggling, it's because of some other person's will or my own.
Thanks for posting,
Maria123
The above is my adult version of life Rosie
As a child, we really are helpless and powerless and we rely on our parents or caretakers to take good care of us. Clearly many of our parents have failed us miserably. But today as an adult, I need to remember that I am not a victim any more. I am not that helpless child that was left to fend on her own. Today I DO HAVE POWER over myself and for that and this amazing program, I am grateful. I hope this helps.
Maria
-- Edited by Maria123 at 13:01, 2006-01-16
-- Edited by jersey1 at 13:05, 2006-01-16
the reason why i offered this share on this forum is becuz i did grow up with my drunken mom...was married to an A....i have TWO brothers who are "A's" and they are IN my life, and this program helps me cope with them so much better....
and it was my mother's drinking that prevented her from protecting me of at least 6 years of assaults by my father.....i qualify for alanon becuz i was severaly impacted by alcholism......
my X with whom i split in may 200 was an A
i offered this becuz so many of us here had that evil happen to us....(you would be amazed how many of us here on this board, AND the AA board when through incest, as part of their alcoholic/ disfunctional home........
thank u ALL for your GR8 shares on this......this was a "flash" i had over the weekend, and i HAD to share it, cuz so many of us struggle with the "god stuff".....i thought this, even tho it is just my take, i really think this will help all of us with our struggles with hp, et al........thank u / rosie
Thank you, Rosie. I really needed this post today. Many thanks for sharing.
Warm regards, Heather
Wow! Rosie, thanks for sharing your spiritual growth... as we are all disconnected in one form or another through this terrible disease.
You & I have had lots of talk about HP ~ God/dess ~ it is a Blessing to see you reconnecting & I couldn't agree with your words/realisation more.
Thanks for sharing it!
love, -K
p.s. FYI ~ stats on rape are 1:4 women ~ that is what is reported, I can't imagine what the truth is. Many children are molested, raped & beaten to death by sick parents. I know many here at this Board that have been treated this way by their own families &/or grew up being molested.
Anyone can be raped at any time - there are a lot of violent ppl out there that commit these acts of hatred daily to strangers. I guess one of the posts above, struck a chord in me & I became a little angry - when I see elderly ppl getting raped, beaten in their own homes by crimminals daily on the news.
I'm sure I'm just being over-sensitive as usual.
-- Edited by kitty at 20:57, 2006-01-16
-- Edited by kitty at 22:09, 2006-01-16