One of the members asked (ordered..lol) me to post my share from last night in hopes that it may show others "how Alanon works" Detachment: I didn't understand detachment at all when I first heard it. I thought it meant "ignore". But detachment with love? After all my A had done to me was even more difficult to grasp. There's lots of water under that bridge and the river flowed full with resentment. In the beginning in order to detach I would just leave my house. I didn't really isolate myself before Alanon, I just didn't put myself out there. I didn't think I had anything to do, and I didn't at the time. While detaching and leaving..I kinda ran out of places to go. I attended f2f meetings on a regular basis but that was about it. Thru f2f, I got a sponsor, I then started meeting at her house once a week. Slowly, I made a few friends thru my f2f, one I really enjoyed. We started doing things together, having dinner, meeting to walk our dogs etc. I recently got a Jack Russell Terror (not terrior) that I am going to take to obedience shool. All of a sudden, I'm really busy!! I have to be places! I have these weekly appointments and am having to juggle all the normal errands. It struck me the other day that I'm so busy I rarely need to detach anymore. DUH!! that's why they tell you to get busy, get out there, do something! When I was first told to get busy..I wasn't in a very good place so I thought yeah right, then what? When I was leaving all the time in the early days, I would only be on the pity pot and pissed off because I had to leave my home. Today..Alanon has filled a void. It offered me a place to go, a wonderful sponsor and a very good friend that calls me on a whim and says "hey, wanna come with me"?. None of the things that I do would have ever happened had I not got in to program. Detaching is so much easier if your life is full. My mind isn't on the A. I feel much differently about myself now when A is drunk. I'm not on the pity pot, I'm having fun!! Who woulda ever thunk it??? Not me! done :) Christy

THANK YOU in just a few paragraphs I understood something I will take with me the rest of my life....if this makes any sense. I have been doing just that and I do feel so much better about me and my life...just me trying to complicate it (the good recovering A that I am). so far in here your discriptions of us A are accurate (for those who arent) Just wanted to say that I could be real selfish and make all sorts of promises but the fact is I had to want to change to work the program, and get honest. If anything, today not only did I get the jist of alanon I got to read some of the pain in your lives due to alcoholism and I pray for you all...you all will be helping me stay sober by reminding me what i used to be...(the person i never want be again.) contingant of course of my spiritual matainance. thank-you all for your true feelings and sharing

Hi Cristy,

A heartfelt THANK YOU from me to you and whoever ordered the share

I have been having trouble with the love aspect of detaching, it'll take time and it sure is nice to hear from people who have found ways of making it easier.

Jennifer

Christy,

Your post really spoke to me and helped me "get" detachment much more fully than I have before. Thanks for sharing!

BlueCloud

This share reminds me of one of our Al-Anon books

When I Got Busy I Got Better

what stands out in relevance to your share is
Replacing Isolation with Community page 12
and
A Lesson in Detachment page 26
In fact the whole book is a great read
Thank you for posting this

I was at the meeting when you shared and I am so glad you posted it here.

It helped me then and it is blessing me again.

Thanks,

Doxie

Christy: what wonderful esh. I shall try to put some of your esh into actions. Thank you.

Maresie.