Me and my A husband have been seperated almost 3 weeks.He moved out,took all his personal stuff.We have 4 kids and all he has given me is 100$ I changed the locks on the door because while I`m at work he gets into the house and takes stuff.Well,now he`s actually breaking in to get stuff.Took his car out of the garage..it`s worth atleast 10,000$ and put the title in a friends name..so I have no claim.This is a 3rd car that he sunk all his money that was left over from drinking into.Now he wants to come take our big screen tv and I said No.so he is going to have the police come here so he can get it. Does he have that right? Just to take whatever he wants out of a house where his 4 kids live and he is not supporting any of them? I`m very angry over this..any info would be helpful. Thanks
elizabeth said
Jan 15, 2006
my answer to you allison is get a lawyer and quick.
Cilla said
Jan 15, 2006
(((((Allison)))))
If you cannot afford an attorney at this time, even if just for legal separation papers, the my suggestion would be for you to go to the child support department of the county that you live in and file for child support (this should be at no cost to you, which is how it is in the county that I live in)... it will take a bit longer for the child support to begin but is still better than not being able to do nothing at all. My second suggestion would be to take pictures of all possessions the two of you own together as well as things that you yourself own. Also if you can remember when the car was originally put into his name and you can prove that he put the car into somebody elses name you might be able to recoup some of that as well, at least eventually. I would also suggest that you keep in mind that you are dealing with the disease and not a rational person, this makes it necessary to do what it takes to keep yourself protected, yet, it is also necessary to understand and accept that there are things (possessions) that would rightly belong to him as well... martial assets as such. The courts don't really look at who spent the most or who wasted the most, assets are what they are at the time of the divorce. Most importantly take the time to take care of yourself in order to be the support for your children. Sometimes the way the disease takes control, we are the only support they have.
My Blessings to You!
Cilla
Jennifer said
Jan 15, 2006
Hi Allison,
It could be different in every state, county or city even but when I checked here, whoever left was allowed to take thier personal possessions, and only other items if the spouse agreed. Just a suggestion ... if at all possible video tape or take pictures of (or at least document maybe with a witness) the items in your home. Keep a record of what is missing, even the money from the sale of his car could possibly be divided equally if it was sold while the seperation process is in place. You may not end up with the money but it could come in handy to have those figures when/if it comes time to split up the assets/debts. There may be a legal aid in your area that could help give you the proper guidelines of how to document what is going on. I know I was told to write everything that happened or anything I noticed had been taken, the more information you have to work with the better.
I hope you find a place of peace to take care of yourself as often as you can, you're in my prayers.
Jennifer
marmare said
Jan 16, 2006
Legal seperation and restraining order.
Hugs Mary
KathyS said
Jan 17, 2006
Each state has different laws pertaining to matters such as these. I know here in Fla once any legal separation or divorce proceeding has been started neither party can sell or remove anything from the home other than personal belongings such as clothes etc. Is it possible to get an order of protection against him? This would bar him from entering the house, from harrassing you or from even contacting you if that's what you request. It will also give you the ability to get immediate temporary custody of the kids and child support ordered until a court date can be set. If you do this and he doesn't abide by it, it is considered contempt of court and he can be arrested. There is usally a small fee for an order of protection but the fee can be waived if you claim you can't afford it right now. When the court date comes if the order remains and the judge feels you are entitled to keep an order of protection active against him, then the fees become HIS responsibility. You can also file for child support legally without have to pay anything. There is so much that can be done without an attorney. You just have to put a little time in at the law library to find out what is available to you.
I can certainly understand your frustration not knowing what will be missing from your home every day. That is no way to have to live. In order to protect yourself financially and legally a paper trail has to be started with law enforcement and the courts. It's in your best interest. Do what you have to to protect yourself and your kids.
Me and my A husband have been seperated almost 3 weeks.He moved out,took all his personal stuff.We have 4 kids and all he has given me is 100$ I changed the locks on the door because while I`m at work he gets into the house and takes stuff.Well,now he`s actually breaking in to get stuff.Took his car out of the garage..it`s worth atleast 10,000$ and put the title in a friends name..so I have no claim.This is a 3rd car that he sunk all his money that was left over from drinking into.Now he wants to come take our big screen tv and I said No.so he is going to have the police come here so he can get it. Does he have that right? Just to take whatever he wants out of a house where his 4 kids live and he is not supporting any of them? I`m very angry over this..any info would be helpful. Thanks
(((((Allison)))))
If you cannot afford an attorney at this time, even if just for legal separation papers, the my suggestion would be for you to go to the child support department of the county that you live in and file for child support (this should be at no cost to you, which is how it is in the county that I live in)... it will take a bit longer for the child support to begin but is still better than not being able to do nothing at all. My second suggestion would be to take pictures of all possessions the two of you own together as well as things that you yourself own. Also if you can remember when the car was originally put into his name and you can prove that he put the car into somebody elses name you might be able to recoup some of that as well, at least eventually. I would also suggest that you keep in mind that you are dealing with the disease and not a rational person, this makes it necessary to do what it takes to keep yourself protected, yet, it is also necessary to understand and accept that there are things (possessions) that would rightly belong to him as well... martial assets as such. The courts don't really look at who spent the most or who wasted the most, assets are what they are at the time of the divorce. Most importantly take the time to take care of yourself in order to be the support for your children. Sometimes the way the disease takes control, we are the only support they have.
My Blessings to You!
Cilla
Hi Allison,
It could be different in every state, county or city even but when I checked here, whoever left was allowed to take thier personal possessions, and only other items if the spouse agreed. Just a suggestion ... if at all possible video tape or take pictures of (or at least document maybe with a witness) the items in your home. Keep a record of what is missing, even the money from the sale of his car could possibly be divided equally if it was sold while the seperation process is in place. You may not end up with the money but it could come in handy to have those figures when/if it comes time to split up the assets/debts. There may be a legal aid in your area that could help give you the proper guidelines of how to document what is going on. I know I was told to write everything that happened or anything I noticed had been taken, the more information you have to work with the better.
I hope you find a place of peace to take care of yourself as often as you can, you're in my prayers.
Jennifer
Legal seperation and restraining order.
Hugs Mary
Each state has different laws pertaining to matters such as these. I know here in Fla once any legal separation or divorce proceeding has been started neither party can sell or remove anything from the home other than personal belongings such as clothes etc. Is it possible to get an order of protection against him? This would bar him from entering the house, from harrassing you or from even contacting you if that's what you request. It will also give you the ability to get immediate temporary custody of the kids and child support ordered until a court date can be set. If you do this and he doesn't abide by it, it is considered contempt of court and he can be arrested. There is usally a small fee for an order of protection but the fee can be waived if you claim you can't afford it right now. When the court date comes if the order remains and the judge feels you are entitled to keep an order of protection active against him, then the fees become HIS responsibility. You can also file for child support legally without have to pay anything. There is so much that can be done without an attorney. You just have to put a little time in at the law library to find out what is available to you.
I can certainly understand your frustration not knowing what will be missing from your home every day. That is no way to have to live. In order to protect yourself financially and legally a paper trail has to be started with law enforcement and the courts. It's in your best interest. Do what you have to to protect yourself and your kids.