Rather than responding to a situation, I caught myself "reacting " to it--------just as I had before I came to alanon. My first thought was I had taken a gaint step backwards. Then I stopped I laughed when I realized what I was doing. My next thought was I had taken a giant leap forward because I had recognized what I was doing!!!!
This kind of thinking was like playing hopscotch. When I was balancing on one foot, I was back to my old self, but when I was standing with both feet on the ground, I wwas living the alanon program. Finding humor in my old reactions seemed funny, but I felt great knowing that I could change my attitude and I would be ok.
Barbara said
Jan 12, 2006
I often do this too. My first reaction is the old way but then I do finally realize what Im doing and start thinking of things in the AlAnon way. Something must be working - thanks
seachange said
Jan 12, 2006
Good going, Gardengal! I've often heard it said in Al-Anon meetings, that awareness is half the battle! And yes, it is funny when we catch ourselves hopping from one foot to the other, with one set of responses but with a whole new awareness of a different response as well. I'm looking forward to the day when the healthy response is so natural and easy that I don't even have to think about it! But I'll settle for some awareness ANY day over the automatic, pinball reactions I used to have to everything!
~seachange
bobump said
Jan 12, 2006
Ah yes, do I know this feeling. Also sometimes laughing at acting so insanely myself.
I think maybe I feel like I've taken a step few steps back because a month ago, I was catching myself as I was reacting or just after I reacted. Lately it seems to come a little later. It's not a total loss, cause pre-program I'd just be rightous and right and it really didn't matter how I reacted. LOL
It is a balancing act this life, but I guess sometimes we need to realize when the pendulum swings that way, it's a chance to grow more or grow again. Maybe my HP thought I needed a little more work in this area. LOL
Rather than responding to a situation, I caught myself "reacting " to it--------just as I had before I came to alanon. My first thought was I had taken a gaint step backwards. Then I stopped I laughed when I realized what I was doing. My next thought was I had taken a giant leap forward because I had recognized what I was doing!!!!
This kind of thinking was like playing hopscotch. When I was balancing on one foot, I was back to my old self, but when I was standing with both feet on the ground, I wwas living the alanon program. Finding humor in my old reactions seemed funny, but I felt great knowing that I could change my attitude and I would be ok.
I often do this too. My first reaction is the old way but then I do finally realize what Im doing and start thinking of things in the AlAnon way. Something must be working - thanks
Good going, Gardengal! I've often heard it said in Al-Anon meetings, that awareness is half the battle! And yes, it is funny when we catch ourselves hopping from one foot to the other, with one set of responses but with a whole new awareness of a different response as well. I'm looking forward to the day when the healthy response is so natural and easy that I don't even have to think about it! But I'll settle for some awareness ANY day over the automatic, pinball reactions I used to have to everything!
~seachange
Ah yes, do I know this feeling. Also sometimes laughing at acting so insanely myself.
I think maybe I feel like I've taken a step few steps back because a month ago, I was catching myself as I was reacting or just after I reacted. Lately it seems to come a little later. It's not a total loss, cause pre-program I'd just be rightous and right and it really didn't matter how I reacted. LOL
It is a balancing act this life, but I guess sometimes we need to realize when the pendulum swings that way, it's a chance to grow more or grow again. Maybe my HP thought I needed a little more work in this area. LOL
Thanks for the reminder GG.
Bob