ok well one of my friend'd mother is a drug addict, and she had just recently (like a week ago) got out of rehab she graduated and everything, and the DAY she got out, she went and did drugs and got arrested, and is now either looking at 5 years in prison or one year in jail and one year on probation... I know what she is going through, for I have been in a similar situation, I have talked to her a little bit, but what exactly do I say to her...she is a good friend of mine... and I want to help, but I have no idea what else to say I told her to come and talk if she needed, but idk, n e ideas on what to say?

Joycie, My first thought was "Wow! That woman's HP means business"!! If the Mom is getting in trouble right out of rehab, then maybe the best thing that could have happened... did. I hope she too recognizes it. The Mother must walk her own path and your friend has no control over what she does or the consequences. Does your friend go to Alanon? You can comfort, but she is the one that has been affected by her Mother's disease and needs to heal. In Alanon she'll learn that she has choices, she doesn't have to stay sucked in to the disease. If she hasn't gone, maybe you could go together. Sometimes the first Alanon meeting feels like "home", for others it takes a few meetings to understand what is going on and how it works. The important thing is to keep going back. Christy

Hi - suggest and perhaps go with your friend to an Al-Anon or Naranon meeting , she will find her answers there and people like herself  who have been where she's at. Your friend is lucky to have a friend who understands. You are very close to the situation and maybe she just ins't hearing you perhaps others will be able to get thru to her.    good luck  Louise

 

Joycie, I feel your pain.  It's so hard to watch.  I know we're not supposed to give advice, but our 12th step is really about spreading the word about the program; just letting your friend know that there is help out there, and that she is not alone could be the best gift you can give her.  If she is not ready or willing, just be there for her.  Let her know you understand, and will listen any time she needs you.  I think of what she's going through (what so many of us have gone through) as stages of grief.  When my dad (not an A) died, the most wonderful experiences that I had were when my best friend just sat next to me on the couch with her head on my shoulder while we watched TV.  You don't always have to say anything.  Just let her know you're there.  You both have my prayers.