I see more clearly how I have grown in the Al-Anon program as I recall my past behavior and my misunderstanding of the nature of alcoholism. I didnot know or believe that alcoholism is a disease. I truly believed that the alcoholic in my life couldcontrol or stop the drinking. Therefore I had difficulty in communicating with the alcoholic.Frequently we had serious disagreements resulting in physical injury to one or both of us.Fortunately a professional recommended Al- Anon to me. Sharing at meetings, as well studyingand applying the Al-Anon tools, has given me a firm understanding of alcoholism as a disease.
>>>>rosie>>>> i do see alcoholism as a disease now to be sure....a disease?? yeah, i can see it...but it is a CHOICE to pick up that first drink!!! the alkie has a CHOICE...they know what the stuff does to them/ makes them do, so they have a CHOICE...however i can show them compassion now becuz it is an addiction...just like my codependency...however i am in RECOVERY to overcome on a ONE day at a time basis, my addiction......the alkie CAN overcome it on a day to day basis with working the program AND giving up the ego over to their higher power......yes, i feel compassion, however the ones who don't WANT to or are WILLING to work the program???? well?? i am here....so if they CHOOSE to not work the program.....i let them GO!!!! detach....stay AWAY!!! NOONE is messing with MY recovery....i don't care HOW much i love the alkies in my family....they are NOT sabotaging my recovery......i will live and let live alright, but if i have to DETACH?? and stay physically away??? than i will.....i and my recovery come first......
I can seenow that my attitude toward the alcoholic wasseriously flawed. Understanding and accepting alcoholism as a disease helps me separate thedisease from the person, thus allowing me to have compassion for the alcoholic while setting lovingboundaries regarding unacceptable behavior. Thought for the DayUnderstanding alcoholism as a disease helps mehave compassion for the alcoholic and take care of myself at the same time."Specialists in the field of alcoholism regard it not as a moral weakness or sin, but as a complexdisease, perhaps part physical and part emotional."*Freedom From Despair*, p. 1 ----------
>>>>>>rosie>>>>> yes, i feel it is a disease..they drank, got hooked....i abused alcohol for a while to numb out my pain from my abuse/ acoa/ coda injuries...thank goodness, i never got physically hooked...mine was mental and emotional..the perp would come into my room and at age 13 he was plying me with screwdrivers (the thought of them now make me ill) so as to make me more "cooperative"..i found out at that early age, that it was a good way to "shut down---NOT feel---disassociate"...it "got me through his assaults" so, to endure my life of hell i DID abuse it...it numbed me...gave me escape from my hell....calmed my shattered nerves....helped me sleep/ escape from my hell......when i got into recovery??? the need to escape with drinking left on its own.....now i run to the program et al for my TREATMENT, not escape......i do have compassion for ANYone in the grips of the darkness....however, it is their choice if they want to surrender to the program or not....i chose to get recovery.....that doesn't make me "better" but i think life is a choice away......if someone refuses to help themself with this loving and good and effective program??? there isn't anything i can do but detach.....its their choice.....boundaries on unacceptable behaviour , yes....
>>>>rosie>>>>i set it BIG time with my oldest brother who hates me and SHOWS it to me each time i had to talk with him....he is the alkie NOT in recovery....SURE he "ok" and does NOT have a drinking problem... and he is putting ME down, becuz i erased the perp's name in a court of law to help me in my recovery!!!! HE looks down on ME!!!! now?? i look at him with pity, for he will keep his denial in the bottom of a beer bottle and he will keep making bad karma and i will recover.......its CHOICE.....i am afflicted with the disease of codependency, and i am DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT........i gues my point is, if i can do it, ANYone can....as severally messed up and sick as i was??? ANYone can heal in this program becuz i am healing and progressing.......
>>>rosie>>>i feel for ALL suffering on this earth.....but a LOT of it is CHOICE!!!! i had NO choice as a helpless child...i am NOT helpless now!! i can make CHOICES and i have!!! i choose recovery...i choose to overcome this ONE day at a time......
kitty said
Jan 6, 2006
Wow! (((((((((((Rosie))))))))))))))
I really relate to this post. We all struggle w/ it being a disease, guess cuz we are not afflicted w/ it & still it is hard to understand.
"it is their choice if they want to surrender to the program or not...."
This is a really interesting quote I don't know if everyone that is addicted is able to get to the point to make that choice or not. I mean many addicts/alcoholics even when they try & want recovery still relapse & never succeed. As they say in NA, the end up institutionalized, in jail or dead, a few recover.
All I know is I am afflicted with diverting from myself & not knowing how to love me. Especially concerning love affairs, I have always used that the most to recklessly abandon myself & feed into the martyrdom of a self sacrificing soul.
Well, I abandon myself no longer, I will not love others at the expense of myself any longer.
Thanks for this share, I thought it was great!
love, -K
rosie light shines said
Jan 6, 2006
kitty_____All I know is I am afflicted with diverting from myself & not knowing how to love me. Especially concerning love affairs, I have always used that the most to recklessly abandon myself & feed into the martyrdom of a self sacrificing soul.
________________________________________
rosie>>>>>>oh boy that was me, sooo coda!! i am kinda glad i am in my "man drought" becuz i am not sure what/how i would handle myself, i THINK i would take care of me , but maybe i need more work.......losing myself in a relationship....like getting absorbed by the man......i think i need to strengthen the growing relationship with me.......thanks for this, this really resonates with me....love / r
Hope for Today - January 6
I see more clearly how I have grown in the Al-Anon program as I recall my past behavior and my
misunderstanding of the nature of alcoholism. I didnot know or believe that alcoholism is a disease. I
truly believed that the alcoholic in my life couldcontrol or stop the drinking. Therefore I had
difficulty in communicating with the alcoholic.Frequently we had serious disagreements resulting
in physical injury to one or both of us.Fortunately a professional recommended Al-
Anon to me. Sharing at meetings, as well studyingand applying the Al-Anon tools, has given me a firm
understanding of alcoholism as a disease.
>>>>rosie>>>> i do see alcoholism as a disease now to be sure....a disease?? yeah, i can see it...but it is a CHOICE to pick up that first drink!!! the alkie has a CHOICE...they know what the stuff does to them/ makes them do, so they have a CHOICE...however i can show them compassion now becuz it is an addiction...just like my codependency...however i am in RECOVERY to overcome on a ONE day at a time basis, my addiction......the alkie CAN overcome it on a day to day basis with working the program AND giving up the ego over to their higher power......yes, i feel compassion, however the ones who don't WANT to or are WILLING to work the program???? well?? i am here....so if they CHOOSE to not work the program.....i let them GO!!!! detach....stay AWAY!!! NOONE is messing with MY recovery....i don't care HOW much i love the alkies in my family....they are NOT sabotaging my recovery......i will live and let live alright, but if i have to DETACH?? and stay physically away??? than i will.....i and my recovery come first......
I can seenow that my attitude toward the alcoholic wasseriously flawed. Understanding and accepting
alcoholism as a disease helps me separate thedisease from the person, thus allowing me to have
compassion for the alcoholic while setting lovingboundaries regarding unacceptable behavior.
Thought for the DayUnderstanding alcoholism as a disease helps mehave compassion for the alcoholic and take care of
myself at the same time."Specialists in the field of alcoholism regard it
not as a moral weakness or sin, but as a complexdisease, perhaps part physical and part
emotional."*Freedom From Despair*, p. 1
----------
>>>>>>rosie>>>>> yes, i feel it is a disease..they drank, got hooked....i abused alcohol for a while to numb out my pain from my abuse/ acoa/ coda injuries...thank goodness, i never got physically hooked...mine was mental and emotional..the perp would come into my room and at age 13 he was plying me with screwdrivers (the thought of them now make me ill) so as to make me more "cooperative"..i found out at that early age, that it was a good way to "shut down---NOT feel---disassociate"...it "got me through his assaults" so, to endure my life of hell i DID abuse it...it numbed me...gave me escape from my hell....calmed my shattered nerves....helped me sleep/ escape from my hell......when i got into recovery??? the need to escape with drinking left on its own.....now i run to the program et al for my TREATMENT, not escape......i do have compassion for ANYone in the grips of the darkness....however, it is their choice if they want to surrender to the program or not....i chose to get recovery.....that doesn't make me "better" but i think life is a choice away......if someone refuses to help themself with this loving and good and effective program??? there isn't anything i can do but detach.....its their choice.....boundaries on unacceptable behaviour , yes....
>>>>rosie>>>>i set it BIG time with my oldest brother who hates me and SHOWS it to me each time i had to talk with him....he is the alkie NOT in recovery....SURE he "ok" and does NOT have a drinking problem... and he is putting ME down, becuz i erased the perp's name in a court of law to help me in my recovery!!!! HE looks down on ME!!!! now?? i look at him with pity, for he will keep his denial in the bottom of a beer bottle and he will keep making bad karma and i will recover.......its CHOICE.....i am afflicted with the disease of codependency, and i am DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT........i gues my point is, if i can do it, ANYone can....as severally messed up and sick as i was??? ANYone can heal in this program becuz i am healing and progressing.......
>>>rosie>>>i feel for ALL suffering on this earth.....but a LOT of it is CHOICE!!!! i had NO choice as a helpless child...i am NOT helpless now!! i can make CHOICES and i have!!! i choose recovery...i choose to overcome this ONE day at a time......
Wow! (((((((((((Rosie))))))))))))))
I really relate to this post. We all struggle w/ it being a disease, guess cuz we are not afflicted w/ it & still it is hard to understand.
"it is their choice if they want to surrender to the program or not...."
This is a really interesting quote I don't know if everyone that is addicted is able to get to the point to make that choice or not. I mean many addicts/alcoholics even when they try & want recovery still relapse & never succeed. As they say in NA, the end up institutionalized, in jail or dead, a few recover.
All I know is I am afflicted with diverting from myself & not knowing how to love me. Especially concerning love affairs, I have always used that the most to recklessly abandon myself & feed into the martyrdom of a self sacrificing soul.
Well, I abandon myself no longer, I will not love others at the expense of myself any longer.
Thanks for this share, I thought it was great!
love, -K
kitty_____All I know is I am afflicted with diverting from myself & not knowing how to love me. Especially concerning love affairs, I have always used that the most to recklessly abandon myself & feed into the martyrdom of a self sacrificing soul.
________________________________________
rosie>>>>>>oh boy that was me, sooo coda!! i am kinda glad i am in my "man drought" becuz i am not sure what/how i would handle myself, i THINK i would take care of me , but maybe i need more work.......losing myself in a relationship....like getting absorbed by the man......i think i need to strengthen the growing relationship with me.......thanks for this, this really resonates with me....love / r