My spouse is attempting for help, a few meetings, counseling, yet drinking at the same time.  Althought he has considerably cut down.  He's admitted he has a problem, but hasn't decided to completely forever give it up. 

I'm not perfect, & when I try a diet, or to change a bad behavior, I too slip into old ways.  How do I try to understand what I don't understand?  If I'm correcting myself in bad behaviours & I slip up, I would want some compassion as I try to regain my correct path.  I would want encouragement, support, & understanding of my slip ups.  Yet I'm having trouble trying to give him the encouragement, support & understanding he may want or need during his slip ups.  Any thoughts?

I just wanted to say that I think that it's great that you would consider feeling compassion for your A during his recovery.  I have been so wrapped up in me and the kids that I haven't cared if he suffered.  I couldn't understand his slip ups...  I figured if he cared anything about me or our children then he wouldn't slip up.  Actually I thought that if we were more important to him, then he never would have put himself in that kind of situation.  BUT, I've never turned it around on myself.  There are many things that I am trying to work on in my recovery and I slip up constantly..  Judging people seems to be the main one that comes back to bite me!

I am new to the program, I am learning that I am 'co-dependent'.  I think compassion is probably something that I used to classify it as with my A, but really it was denial.  I have done a lot of healing in the past year, the anger is finally beginning to subside, so maybe I can start giving this compassion thing a try where he is concerned.

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice... I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes.

So glad you are here and so glad for the honesty in your share. One image that came to my mind as I read your post is that we cannot give from an empty cup. If we are empty, there is nothing left to give. We have gone dry. As a codependent living with an active alcoholic, it is no wonder you are empty. You need to be filled up. There is nothing that you need to do perfectly. All you have to do is to show up for yourself right now: here, at face to face meetings, making program phone calls, in the chat room for fellowship and meetings. Thank you for being here. Your being here is part of my getting filled so that I can give love. blessings, mebjk

Read the Big Book of AA.  The words on those pages are what gave me the ability to have compassion for my addict/husband.