On the 21st of December, I went to court, along with my A, and divorced him. We will stay together as partners,hopefully for life, but I feel so relieved now that I will no longer be financially responsible for his actions. He is sober now, but I know that sooner or later he will take a three-day binge again. He always does. I give him a year at the outside, and BAM!! I took back my maiden name, and the property settlement was easy as the house belongs to me, he has his income and I have mine. We split the other assets right down the middle, and we have no debts. PHEW!! What a relief. Now I can love this wonderful, elegant, happy, funny, loving, kind man without fear. This is the ultimate detachment!! I am not recommending this for anyone else, but I think it will work for me.
..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ ..·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ...·´ Diva-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*
Maria123 said
Dec 31, 2005
(((((Diva))))))),
I hear that sense of relief that you feel. Wow, what a great example of detaching with love.
Happy New Year,
Maria
kitty said
Dec 31, 2005
Congradulations! and Yes! what a relief not to be financially responsible for someone else if they cause major damage. If this is the thing that allows you to be set free, I commend you & wish you all of the best.
love, -K
Karilynn said
Dec 31, 2005
Diva,
Wow! How brave was that of you. You go girl! I like the fact that you sound at peace with your decision which is huge. I wish the two of you a long, happy life together. Live it the way you and your want to. I'm so proud of you!
Live strong,
Karilynn
kathykelly said
Dec 31, 2005
You sound at peace and that is so great. I'm sure this brings a great deal of relief and removes the anxiety of what might happen that you would otherwise risk being financially responsible for. It is so good to do such big things for yourself. The best thing is, what we do for ourselves toward being healthy and safe usually affects others in a positive way, if not by forcing accountability then by being a good example.
david62 said
Dec 31, 2005
Wow ((((Diva))))!
What an interesting solution and example of detachment with love! Definately a different solution to an all too common problem of being legally responsible for some of the actions the a's in our lives might take. Certainly reinforces that you are taking care of you first, while at the same time giving your relationship a whole new life by setting you free from some of the fear it was causing for you.
It might not work for everybody, but sounds like a great solution for you!
I wish you and your "significant other" a Happy Shiny New Year filled with many Blessings and Joy!
David
gardengal said
Dec 31, 2005
Wow is all I can say........what a thought,,, what an idea,,and to follow through with such a solution to the "problem". I have read alot of your postings and as always find something very interesting and positive in what you post....Thanks for sharing,,,,,,gardengal
tea2 said
Dec 31, 2005
(((Diva))) I too understand the relief you feel at the end of the divorce, the finality of it. I too took my maiden name back. I have been reading your posts -but really had no idea you were going thru this at this time. So nice to hear you are detached with love -starting The New Year as the new you, on your terms. Lots of well wishes now and always, Tracey
-- Edited by tea2 at 13:29, 2005-12-31
Diva said
Dec 31, 2005
After this post I have received several responses as well as several private messages. Your response has been 100% positive! Thank you all for not only taking the time to say a few words, but for making them so kind and understanding. There comes a time when we do what we must to insure our own survival. The peace I feel is not to be described.
Not all of you will agree with this move on my part, and I appreciate and respect your right to disagree. At the end of the day, we are all in this together, and I love being a part of the family on this board.
I want to wish each of you a Happy New Year from the bottom of my heart. And remember, while I sometimes sound harsh and shockingly to the point, I respond out of true caring and love.
Diva
WakingUp said
Dec 31, 2005
Diva, that's what I call a creative solution to taking good financial care of yourself. WTG!
nikkilou said
Dec 31, 2005
Diva,
I'm so proud of you. If my A slips I will do the same thing. We have talked about it.I will not be put though the hell of wondering is everything o.k. Will I have to pay for his mistakes. I do Love him with all my heart and he is a good guy. He is sober but if he slips I have told him I can not be held responsible for his actions. Best of luck I hope it works eaqch me posted. I'm glad someone else thinks the way I do.
NIKKILOU
leo said
Jan 1, 2006
Diva what struck me about your post was the love you still have and the empowerment you have just given yourself by taking back your maiden name. Have a great 2006 together. Luv Leo xx
Jeannie said
Jan 2, 2006
(((Diva))))
Wow! Now that is detaching with love.
I wish you both all the best in your new ways. You sound great!
(((((Diva))))))),
I hear that sense of relief that you feel. Wow, what a great example of detaching with love.
Happy New Year,
Maria
Congradulations! and Yes! what a relief not to be financially responsible for someone else if they cause major damage. If this is the thing that allows you to be set free, I commend you & wish you all of the best.
love, -K
(((Diva)))
I too understand the relief you feel at the end of the divorce, the finality of it. I too took my maiden name back. I have been reading your posts -but really had no idea you were going thru this at this time.
So nice to hear you are detached with love -starting The New Year as the new you, on your terms.
Lots of well wishes now and always, Tracey
-- Edited by tea2 at 13:29, 2005-12-31
Diva,
I'm so proud of you. If my A slips I will do the same thing. We have talked about it.I will not be put though the hell of wondering is everything o.k. Will I have to pay for his mistakes. I do Love him with all my heart and he is a good guy. He is sober but if he slips I have told him I can not be held responsible for his actions. Best of luck I hope it works eaqch me posted. I'm glad someone else thinks the way I do.
NIKKILOU
(((Diva))))
Wow! Now that is detaching with love.
I wish you both all the best in your new ways. You sound great!
We all have to do what workd for us.
Happy New Year.
Love jeannie