loved that. thank you for your wise support. All i give is from hp. talks thru our hearts uno? Well I tell ya it is what I WENT thru. Yep every day has been a bit better, pain is less in every way. Got one of those memory foam neck pillows and finally slept. Kept warm soggy things on my neck, no not animal, gel packs...Though last night I was cuddling with Tavish my youngest Basset, and his long ears felt so warm I tucked one under my neck! My double recliner finally died. Could it be from pot bellied pigs climbing on it to sleep? And holding at least four dogs and me at one time while we watched tv? Or maybe it was when I allowed Estersue in, hey she was soooo dainty, and she tried to climb onto the chair with me....crunch. sigh. She is staying at 1100-1200 pounds now. She is cleaner than the hairy dogs i tell ya. Just causes damage just by barely bumping something... Well I found a very nice comfy blue single recliner at Goodwill, then found a neat pink one.So I push them close together so Tavish can hang over and be close. Eden is a stream bed right now. The streams coming down from the mountain are rushing and loud. They come to one pond in the pasture, a huge one, then to a pond outside my bedroom sliding door and deck then stream on to the big canal in front to the river. I love the sound.Wish I had ducks but my animals tend to want to be close, well along with the animal, comes the pooty, and I hate slippery decks.... (c: i always have to be so close to them that they want to be close to me. I did some dog rescue. Decided after people saying they would meet me to see them and not showing up, that I was done with that. I have lost a few small animals, old age. Gotta get strong. I have very, very old piggies My horse is 29. He is as bratty as ever about grabbing the feed sacks from me I feed the wild birds. Its so neat to hear them out there. IF I don't go and get the cat food I will be feeding them fresh birds.....well they will hunt them...oops I sit here and can see my bare maple tree. there are a zillion birds in it, all kinds there are birds on my porch too. The big ones yell at me to get their peanuts out there. Ya know I used to say if it were cancer making the A act so horrible I would stick it out. Not anymore. I gotta make sure I am as healthy as possible as I grow older. You younger ones, believe me when ya turn 50 things do change. Ya hurt more, you are more easily injured. I am blessed with looking younger than my years. Go carded for id to buy dinner wine in my early fourties.I am not kidding when I say, my gma did not look old until she turned 105. My aunt looks in her fifties and she is 80, my mom died at 64 and looked in her late fourties. not from makeup either, none of us wear it or wear much. Hardy farm ladies I guess. But inside tells another story for some of us. My bones are that of a 76 year old I guess. So no way am I going to allow anyone to hurt me. I got lotsa loving animals to take care of for at least fifteen years. My gma asked me if he was gone again? Told her, she said are you alone now? I said grama how can i be alone with nine dogs, twenty cats, twenty pot bellied pigs, one farm pig, one horse, three llamas, two guinea pigs, two goats one guinea man, four roosters, one hen, one FeeFee turkey pet rats, pet hamster.....wild birds.... And you guys are right, for me, I am out of the A crap. But I still need the support and still need to share and support. Alanon for me is a way of life. Well I let all the dogs out. let them in, and may i say they have a frigging doggy door to a nice clean pine shavings area!! Do they go out there, nooooooo rrrr then put two old bassets back up onto my bed, the rest are on blankets and chair and couch. my little yorkie/papillion rusty, who growled at the a all the time, is on me as usual he never leaves me, never. I should slip away for a bit, what else, to go get feed and cat food. (c: If you saw my house you would not know I have nine dogs. i mop at least once a day, and i wash walls and stuff too. I give them baths and groom them. I love it. exciting life eh? The world is a tough place, be easy on yourselves please. remember the disease in your loved ones is always striving to bring you down. It taks a lot of work to build yourself up all the time. But ya gotta do it. Is it worth it? It is up to each of us individually. All i can say about my situation is I am glad it is over. much love to you all debilyn in oregon

my dogs and cats are very naughty too. I think the love for our animals is one of the reasons i stay. Right now I can't work out a way to keep them if I split up from the A. but I am sure in time I will or God will show me a way.  I dont' doubt the A is on his way down somewhere. His health is going, he is body is going his mind is going.  I do  not need to be around him as he goes under and I sure as hell know his mother isn't going to do it but that doesn't mean I have to sacrifice myself for him.  I can get angry at his mother all I want but the fact is that doesn't mean I should stay with him because she was never a mother to him. I never had a mother either and no one is staying with me as a result of that.

Maresie.

Mare, yes hp will show you how. pray for help and do the footwork. I had to live in my barn in the bunk room for a few months. But it was well worth it. Every experience is worth it, the harder the experience the more I have learned. So put the A in hp's hands, and you take care of you and critters. I keep praying for another animal nut like me for a room mate. That might be an answer for you. Find a room mate and get your own place there are lots of options. love,debilyn

My dear Debilyn,  I haven't been in here for ages, nor have I posted for quite a while but something told me to check in just now and there I saw you had posted 44 secs previously and you are still on line as I write this.  Amazing to know we are at this moment both sitting at our computers, so many many miles apart but together in spirit.

I also read your penultimate post and I'm sorry to hear things have been bad for you but it was wonderful to read your positivity and strength.  You really are an inspiration to us all.  I love to hear about your animals and your home -- so different from my lifestyle.  I am definitely a 'townie' and a scardey cat when it comes to being in the countryside at night.  But I am so lucky to be able to count you as one of my friends.  I was feeling a bit 'wobbly' and tearful today but you reminded me that we must take care of ourselves, stay healthy to stay strong. 

I shall pray we find peace of mind and courage in the coming year.  You are a very special lady Debilyn.   with love,     Sheila

Doggy rescue, huh?  Would ya like a non-housebroken purebred Chinese Crested Powderpuff extremely loving goofball of a dog?  (His birthdate is November 8, 2003, so he's just over 2 years old)  heehee  Seriously, this is oldest son's dog and he has decided that he just doesn't have the time needed for Denny and is looking for a good home for him where he can be cared for properly.  He has AKC papers for him.  I was thinking of looking online for a breeder/rescuer who might take him, just kinda leery cause I wouldn't know how they might treat him.  Would you know of anyone?

Debilyn:Well there is the kicker because we have pets together and I would not leave my pets with him. His answer to the dogs having house problems is not to feed them.  I would not be able to leave them with him long term. His freeloading narcissistic pals would be in here in a minute. And one toxic rodent hates cats so he would let my cats out and he already let the dogs out numerous times.  So I am stuck.  Maybe I should come room mate with you.  I could bring my dogs, stick my stuff in storage and tell him sayanara. Of  course I have to do some other stuff like save up money for the insurance for the truck, get my own license and stuff like that but I had not thought about living with an animal crazy like myself as of yet. That would be like a gift from heaven wouldn't it?

 

maresie.

Hi chicken its me again just checking in to see you are okay.  I too am an animal lover and an old girl like you (will be 48 next year 2006). I live in a country town in Western Australia.  Yesterday you would have loved it here there were three emu babies walking down the main street they were so cute.  I keep promising Aron I will send her photos and haven't got around to it yet.  When I do I will email some to you as well.  I am not the best photographer so anything could happen. Thinking of you and hoping 2006 is the start of new beginnings for you and yours.  Luv Leo xx