One of the most beneficial things I have learned from my Al-Anon experience is to be consistent in my thoughts, words, and actions. In my alcoholic home, I learned to mask uncomfortable situations with words and actions I thought would promote harmony. I have since learned that agreeing with others simply to keep peace causes me to be resentful. As difficult as it may be, today I won't automatically concur with the thoughts and opinions of others. If I have a different point of view, I express it, then let go of the other's reaction. I practice "Live and Let Live" and "Let Go and Let God." To be consistent, I need to know what I believe. The Al-Anon program, especially through the Steps, helps me to gain clarity for myself. Such clear understanding helps me be consistent in what I think, say, and do and sustains my serenity. Consistency helps me to practice "Keep It Simple" and saves me from the need to second-guess myself. It helps me to identify boundaries. Consistency helps me to remain true to myself. Thought for the Day Al-Anon offers me the skills I need to define and express my beliefs without diminishing the integrity of others. ". . . Unity really starts within me. I think of it as a feeling of 'getting things together' inside my own head." *Alateen--a day at a time*, p. 217
>>>>>rosie....i am teaching my self consistency in my SLOWING down....staying in the NOW....not rushing through the present moment......be the SAME in my healthy approaches to things.........i used to do that too, agreeing with the devil to keep him calm, and OFF our backs.....i sold my soul to keep from being attacked....i had to make amends to me for it..........TODAY i have my own beliefs, adn i do NOT sell them out.....i take what works and i LEAVE the rest......if i have a diferent take, i say it, than let it go.....what ever the other feels about it is not my business.......to be consistent, i need to know ME...and i am doing that.......i am working on the basics of my life....keeping it VERY simple as i train me NEW and HEALTHY ways to think /act/ behave/ to BE.......and being TRUE TO ME!!!!!
Robinks said
Dec 28, 2005
Rosie - I still agree with others just to keep the peace, that is a habit that is so hard to break. Then later I get resentful. I hate that.
bobump said
Dec 28, 2005
Agreeing for the sake of harmony. Ugh, did I need to read this.
One other thing about the post struck me. You mentioned slowing down. For some reason I thought of my umpiring training. It's amazing at how much my umpiring can help me out in other aspects of my life. LOL
What is the point of this basebal diversion in the dearth of December?
There are two immediate things we learn as new umpires. We need to stop and set. We can't properly see the entire play if our eyes, our camera is moving. And the one of the biggest mistakes that new umpires make is in timing. When we don't take time to slow down and witness the entire play, we end up anticipating the outcome. We make poor judgements.
Sound familiar?
I think next time I'm taking a step or two back in my program, I'm going to go back to my basic umpiring training and slow down, witness everything that is happening around me, before I make a decision.
Bobump.
rosie light shines said
Dec 28, 2005
hey bobump...i LOVE the idea of the "umpire training" to SLOW down , witness the ENTIRE play....that is so true!!!! ...thank you for the great analogy ...i am going to think of an umpire, when i am rushing and "not witnessing the entire play or FEELING it"....thanks, rosie
rosie light shines said
Dec 28, 2005
yeah, robin, i can sooo relate to the "keeping of the peace".... "go along to avoid argument".....i am soo glad for this program, it has really helped me be "true to myself".....oh sometimes it gets scary to have a diferent "take" but i do it....and NO resentments.....thanks robin for making me remember how i used to be and how much i have changed.......but like you said its hard to break and i have to constantly watch myself becuz i am not fully trained at it........
Hope for Today - December 28
One of the most beneficial things I have learned from my Al-Anon experience is to be consistent in my thoughts, words, and actions. In my alcoholic home, I learned to mask uncomfortable situations with words and actions I thought would promote harmony. I have since learned that agreeing with others simply to keep peace causes me to be resentful. As difficult as it may be, today I won't automatically concur with the thoughts and opinions of others. If I have a different point of view, I express it, then let go of the other's reaction. I practice "Live and Let Live" and "Let Go and Let God." To be consistent, I need to know what I believe. The Al-Anon program, especially through the Steps, helps me to gain clarity for myself. Such clear understanding helps me be consistent in what I think, say, and do and sustains my serenity. Consistency helps me to practice "Keep It Simple" and saves me from the need to second-guess myself. It helps me to identify boundaries. Consistency helps me to remain true to myself. Thought for the Day Al-Anon offers me the skills I need to define and express my beliefs without diminishing the integrity of others. ". . . Unity really starts within me. I think of it as a feeling of 'getting things together' inside my own head." *Alateen--a day at a time*, p. 217
>>>>>rosie....i am teaching my self consistency in my SLOWING down....staying in the NOW....not rushing through the present moment......be the SAME in my healthy approaches to things.........i used to do that too, agreeing with the devil to keep him calm, and OFF our backs.....i sold my soul to keep from being attacked....i had to make amends to me for it..........TODAY i have my own beliefs, adn i do NOT sell them out.....i take what works and i LEAVE the rest......if i have a diferent take, i say it, than let it go.....what ever the other feels about it is not my business.......to be consistent, i need to know ME...and i am doing that.......i am working on the basics of my life....keeping it VERY simple as i train me NEW and HEALTHY ways to think /act/ behave/ to BE.......and being TRUE TO ME!!!!!
yeah, robin, i can sooo relate to the "keeping of the peace".... "go along to avoid argument".....i am soo glad for this program, it has really helped me be "true to myself".....oh sometimes it gets scary to have a diferent "take" but i do it....and NO resentments.....thanks robin for making me remember how i used to be and how much i have changed.......but like you said its hard to break and i have to constantly watch myself becuz i am not fully trained at it........