I'm new here, I went to the 12 step forum and read step one, I get that I am powerless over my A's drinking but why am I powerless over the effect it has on me?  If I could change how the things he does and says while drinking effects me then maybe my life wouldn't feell like it's spinning out of control.  How do I work this program on line?  I feel totally exhausted, worn out and tired.  I want the old "me" back, the person I was before he entered my life, the emotional termoil he creates is destroying me, the constant critism is killing me, I realize he's sick but he's making me sick! And I'm taking it out on my kids, God help me, please!  Somebody?

(((alone))) im so glad you found us you are exactly where you need to be. come into the chatroom and we can help you with your questions. thats exactly it you are powerless. and this program does teach you to get the focus back on you and many here are married to active a's. hope to see you in chat

alone, I'm so glad you are here, and we are here for you. As we say at the end of alanon meetings, after awhile you may not like all of us but you will love us in a very special way. See if you can find a sponsor online, someone to help you work thru the steps. For me, it took awhile to get that I was powerless over the drinking and over my own reactions, my own illness. The program is a process. You are in the right place. It will take work on your part, but we are all here to help you, and we understand. Already you have a program, and it is making you ask new questions and wondering about things. That's the power of the program already! Keep coming back - it works, if you work it! mebjk

Welcome Alone, You have come to the right place to help you see the steps you can use to restore yourself back to sanity. The old you is still there, and the 12 steps are the keys to unlock that person whose has been protecting herself. Here you will find many stories that you can relate to and find comfort in. It is important to physically attend Al-anon meetings - there you will find comfort in actual persons who know exactly what you are going through. It will be very fruitfull to find a sponser with a voice, and spongy shoulders to cry on. Here is wonderful too; such supreme comfort and encouragement. Press on dear friend, and know that you are not alone, and you are not crazy. With Al-anon, and the willingness to work the program, you will find serenity, and so will your kids! ( my children are 4 and 8 right now, younger when I started - and they are no longer the victims to MY sickness) There is hope!!! You have a loving community here. Angie

Hello Alone, well your not alone anymore you found Al-Anon I hope u will find meetings in your area there u will find the support you need  and people who understand exactly how ufeel and offer solutions for the dilema u find yourself in.

Step one says that you are powerless over alcohol , not your own life , it does say that your life has become unmanagable and from your post that should be fairly clear. When we allow someone elses behavior  to control our lives , we need help. 

You say you want your life back  Al-Anon will  help you do that.  here is th e toll free number for meeting info in your area. 1-888-4alanon lines are open from 8am - pm monday thru friday . good luck and there is always hope don't give up on yourself yet .     Louise

Hi alone welcome.  You are not alone anymore you have just inherited an instant family here who will help guide you, pick you up when you are down and above all we will not judge you. I have been coming here since September last year and I am a lone al-anon member as there is nothing in my area.  Like you I wanted the answers all at once and the instant fix to everything.  Things will get better.  All of us still slip back into our old patterns, react to things that are better left sometimes but we acknowledge that we are not perfect. You have taken the first step by reaching out to others in the same boat.  Look back on some of the old posts you will probably recognize a lot of things that have been happening in your life that are common to all of us and just knowing that others can relate to it helps enormously.  Luv Leo xx

My boyfriend can be incredibly critical too. He exists in another world I have come to learn after being in this group.  I try not to enter his chaos which is like doing a dance to start with. After a while it becomes a place of peace.

Maresie.