The Al-Anon Gifts/ Promises - From Survival to Recovery (p269)
If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, our lives will be transformed. Members work their program by being willing to attend meetings on a regular basis, reading Al-Anon/Alateen literature, getting a sponsor, working toward applying the 12 Steps of recovery to their lives and by becoming involved in Al-Anon Service work as they begin to recover.
1. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential. 2. We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return. 3. Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth 4. Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents. 5. Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others. 6. We will begin to feel and will come to know the vastness of our emotions, but will not be slaves to them. 7. Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame. 8. As we gain the ability to forgive our families, the world, and ourselves our choices will expand. 9. With dignity we will stand for ourselves, but not against our fellows. 10. Serenity and peace will have meaning for us, as we allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with G-ds ease, balance, and grace. 11. No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in lifes paradox, mystery, and awe. 12. We will laugh more. 13. Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
Can we really grow to such proportions? Only if we accept life as a continuing process of maturation and evolution toward wholeness. Then we suddenly begin to notice these gifts appearing. We see them in those who walk beside us. Sometimes slowly or haltingly, occasionally in great bursts of brilliance, those who work The Steps change and grow toward light, toward health, and toward their Higher Power. Watching others, we realize this is also possible for us.
Will we ever arrive? Feel joyful all the time? Have no cruelty, tragedy, or injustice to face? Probably not, but we will acquire growing acceptance of our human fallibility, as well as greater love and tolerance for each other. Self-pity, resentment, martyrdom, rage, and depression will fade into memory. Community rather than loneliness will define our lives. We will know that we belong, we are welcome, we have something to contribute, and that is enough.
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hotrod said
Jan 17, 2013
Thank You for taking the time to post this Tigger
It is so very helpful and hopeful
Breakingfree said
Jan 18, 2013
I love it and live it! Thanks for this share!
Jen said
Jan 20, 2013
Thanks for posting them Tigger. I love the promises of Al-Anon and the ones for AA as well. I had been meaning to look them up again and here they are. Is that HP in action or what?
Natasha said
Feb 21, 2013
Thank you. Just what I needed to hear right now. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. I am so tired of feeling in such despair. I know there is hope. I just need to do the next right thing and turn my situation over to God.
Tairaruth said
Feb 21, 2013
I .. am not yet convinced that these will happen .. for me .. even though I have in the past. I am taking this as a very good indication that I need to get back into the program despite being so very busy with work and school. We are in the middle of reading week from school.. and yesterday I got to go to a meeting that I haven't been able to attend in a very long time. It felt good to be back in that room with all of the smiles and love and I can't wait until April when school is over with and hopefully I will be able to go back again more often.
I want to thank you for the promises.... even though right now, they appear so far beyond me .. I know that I am at the right place.
PP said
Feb 21, 2013
It felt good to read through these today
Sincerely said
Mar 27, 2013
Thanks for sharing, I needed to be reminded of these promises because right know, like Tairaruth, they seem far off to me.
I am going to pray to HP asking him to help me with these.
tortuga said
Mar 30, 2013
Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will grow naturally.... it's great to see it happen, it really give me hope to move on.... thanks to (((MIP)))
seacoast61 said
May 3, 2013
Although it may not be easy the slogans are very helpful. One Day At A Time
Wounds take time to heal
Dove said
May 30, 2013
New to Alanon as a member, but I've been lurking on boards and webpages for months. Thank you for posting this. And I'm very thankful to know that I'm not alone as I struggle with my husbands recovery. There is a plan, and promises as I work the plan. Thank you for your support and encouragment.
recoveryhope said
Jun 9, 2013
Thanks for sharing, Tigger. :)
I love reading the promises.
I believe the promises give hope to the newcomer and they remind folks already in the program changes that will occur if we continue to work our program. :)
FAITH1988 said
Jul 7, 2013
Thank you Tigger
Fear will be replaced by a faith.
{{Faith}}
SerenitySoon said
Jul 17, 2013
Thank you.
DebraAnnRegan said
Aug 6, 2013
Hi, I am newby and having a hard time dealing w my boyfriends disease. He was going for his 2nd pint of 151. Last year he drank 2 or 3 in two days and got violent and punched my son in the back of the head and pushed my daughter. Because of this I wasn't allowed to see my kids (teenagers) for a while. And now a year or so later, he is starting to drink more excessive again and its always my fault. I need help.
ConcernedMomma said
Sep 1, 2013
I love these and am convinced that if I continue to go to meetings and remind myself of these that it will help me tremendously. This has been a life saver for me so far. I am already looking at everything so differently.
MNmom said
Sep 3, 2013
I have been engaged to analcoholic for almost 5 years. We have 2 small children together and a home. He is functional in the way that he holds down a job. Other than that he is highly dysfunctional. I cannot leave my children alone with him when I work on Saturday's and I have to ask my parents to watch my kids. My parents are frustrated and tell me that they are enabling him to drink while I say my kids safety is the ultimate concern (they are 2 and 3)......He has gotten a DUI with my babies in the back seat of the car when they were only 6 months and 2 years old. I am forced to do all of the caregiving for our children while he sits in the basement and drinks, I cannot do anything other than watch my kids and go to work because I don't trust him. He acts as though he doesn't care about me what so ever, has called me horrible names, constantly criticizing me and complaining that I don't do enough, I don't pay enough bills, attached my appearance, when I was pregnant and developed acne and gained weight, he would call me names constantly. I am 120 pounds and feel fat and ugly because he will say it to me. We recently went to a wedding and he hit on other woman right in front of me---it is so awful. He has never told me he loves me, he has never shown any appreciation for me....I have made every single meal, changed every single diaper, dressed our kids every day, went to all doctor appointments alone, woke up with them every time, I feel like a single mother.
There are moments when we really do get along, it can change on the drop of a dime and he can be pleasant and sweet to me.
There are moments as well where we fight all day long from the time I get up til we go to bed. The fighting is more than ever lately.....I cannot financially make it without him but I don't want this for my kids.
I think of myself before I met him, a gorgeous, happy fun loving woman who wad independent, very picky about who I dated and I had the world at at my finger tips. I dream of "that fictional man" who I was waiting to sweep me off my feet, I want to be in love again and with som Now I can barely look in the mirror, I'm constantly worried, sad ....even attempted suicide last year.
I never thought this would be my life and even though I know somewhere I am still strong and I'm a good mom and I don't drink....I am stuck, alone and feel like I will be forever.
Butterfly1 said
Sep 17, 2013
Thank You !!!!!!! My first time reading the Al-anon Promises....WOW!!!
Shoeluvr said
Dec 2, 2013
Truly my HP brings before me exactly what I need each day. I just signed up to this board today. The promises remind me of how much freedom I have today because of this glorious program. Just like amends, gaining compassion for others I find is for me...I am the beneficiary of having compassion and tolerance for others...I become happy, joyous, and free! Thank you for sharing the promises.
Miamamamia said
Jan 20, 2014
thanks for sharing New to the group and new to Al-anon , I love it need to learn how to live it , I feel scared and alone, who I was i no longer am but who's to blame but myself
EveNYC said
Feb 8, 2014
Thanks for posting this. I have formatted the text and made a pdf for my wall. I printed it out on pink paper. If anyone wants the pdf I am attaching it.
Thank you for posting these. It's a very nice place to start this journey.
SunshineGirl said
May 16, 2014
An absolute joy to read. Thank you for posting this, Tigger.
I want to work towards and receive all these gifts.
NewMorning said
Aug 1, 2014
Good day,
I felt encouraged reading this post and the replies.
I am growing to and living with the mystery and joy of life.
Thank you all who risk and share your feelings, thoughts, and day to days.
tpotterf said
Nov 7, 2014
Thank you for posting this.
hopeful777 said
Dec 9, 2014
Wow always good to read, I need the reminders daily!
readysetgo said
Feb 26, 2015
First visit to this page, to any Al Anon forum - read this and I feel HUGGED with hope and understanding. Thru happy tears I read words of gifts greater than I could have ever dreamed. My cousin pointed me in this direction and from what I can tell, I have a lot of work ahead and much to gain...and a cousin to thank.
hotrod said
Feb 26, 2015
Great Tammy I am glad you are here and pray that you keep cominng back.
You are worth it.
Gracie02 said
Apr 9, 2015
I have been am dating an alcoholic for a year and when I read that your man does not tell you he loves you and constantly criticizes your appearance and tells you, you are overweight, I was stunned. I am living that life too. We do not have children or live together, but he won't admit he is an alcoholic and has a DUI that of course, is not his fault. He also has a disabling back injury and is taking pain pills with his alcohol.
When he met me. he thought I was just perfect. Now, I don't dress to please him, exercise enough and he doesn't like my cat or that I enjoy reading. We have known each other distantly for over 10 years.
I started Al Anon to fix him, but after only two months I see it is helping me. I am that strong courageous woman, I always have been, and by attending my meeting I want to recover. Slow moving, but there is no timeline. I am praying to my H.P., and feel and know I want that peace and serenity. I am trying to realize I cannot fix his addictions and that I am not giving up on me. I am the work in progress and am working on Letting go and letting God one day at a time. Thank you.
hotrod said
Apr 10, 2015
Welcome Gracie Keep showing up you are so worth it,
Damagedone said
Apr 18, 2015
I am willing to do this work. The past 4 years in my last relationship with my EX has messed me up. I think is my biography. Time to live for me now and not him. I still do love him and always, but I cannot change him. In the past, I went to one Ala-non meeting as well as AA meetings with him, but his sobriety never lasted long . In that Ala-non meeting, I learned the term codependent. Although, we are not together romantically anymore, we still remain in contact. He is in prison right now. Claims he has hit rock bottom. But I have heard that before.
-- Edited by Damagedone on Saturday 18th of April 2015 02:40:50 PM
LedfootJenny said
Jun 26, 2015
"We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. "
This promise keeps me focused and full of hope.
I will continue to look at me, my feels, actions, deficits and gifts so that I can understand more fully who I really am.
LedfootJenny said
Jun 26, 2015
LOL - sorry, I should state "this GIFT vs promise"
Silverbee said
Jul 1, 2015
Thanks so much for posting Tigger!
Broken513 said
Aug 18, 2015
Thank you! I am glad I read this post. I think I am right where I belong. I look forward to that day when it comes, to be able to breathe again!
Dave2554 said
Nov 17, 2015
I LOVE #5 ... 'Our lives no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others' ... I see this promise realized every time I attend a Face to Face meeting, or come to this board to read what all of you have come to share. How amazing is it, that despite all that we have gone through, that we are all able to come here, or go to meetings, and hear and share so much Experience, Strength and Hope!
cspwil said
Nov 17, 2015
such a good post. I am glad to read this to help remind me that this is a process and we do not have to lose ourselves because there is hope
mom 2 five said
Feb 21, 2016
Thank you for posting this. This is my first time reading the promises and I am so hopeful now. I know I found the right place, my HP let me here and this is where I need to be. Thank you
Iamhere said
Feb 21, 2016
mom 2 five - I am so happy that you are looking around and finding hope!!! (((Hugs)))
The Al-Anon Gifts/ Promises - From Survival to Recovery (p269)
If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, our lives will be transformed. Members work their program by being willing to attend meetings on a regular basis, reading Al-Anon/Alateen literature, getting a sponsor, working toward applying the 12 Steps of recovery to their lives and by becoming involved in Al-Anon Service work as they begin to recover.
1. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.
2. We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return.
3. Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth
4. Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.
5. Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others.
6. We will begin to feel and will come to know the vastness of our emotions, but will not be slaves to them.
7. Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame.
8. As we gain the ability to forgive our families, the world, and ourselves our choices will expand.
9. With dignity we will stand for ourselves, but not against our fellows.
10. Serenity and peace will have meaning for us, as we allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with G-ds ease, balance, and grace.
11. No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in lifes paradox, mystery, and awe.
12. We will laugh more.
13. Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
Can we really grow to such proportions? Only if we accept life as a continuing process of maturation and evolution toward wholeness. Then we suddenly begin to notice these gifts appearing. We see them in those who walk beside us. Sometimes slowly or haltingly, occasionally in great bursts of brilliance, those who work The Steps change and grow toward light, toward health, and toward their Higher Power. Watching others, we realize this is also possible for us.
Will we ever arrive? Feel joyful all the time? Have no cruelty, tragedy, or injustice to face? Probably not, but we will acquire growing acceptance of our human fallibility, as well as greater love and tolerance for each other. Self-pity, resentment, martyrdom, rage, and depression will fade into memory. Community rather than loneliness will define our lives. We will know that we belong, we are welcome, we have something to contribute, and that is enough.
-
Thank You for taking the time to post this Tigger
It is so very helpful and hopeful
Thank you. Just what I needed to hear right now. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. I am so tired of feeling in such despair. I know there is hope. I just need to do the next right thing and turn my situation over to God.
I .. am not yet convinced that these will happen .. for me .. even though I have in the past. I am taking this as a very good indication that I need to get back into the program despite being so very busy with work and school. We are in the middle of reading week from school.. and yesterday I got to go to a meeting that I haven't been able to attend in a very long time. It felt good to be back in that room with all of the smiles and love and I can't wait until April when school is over with and hopefully I will be able to go back again more often.
I want to thank you for the promises.... even though right now, they appear so far beyond me .. I know that I am at the right place.
I am going to pray to HP asking him to help me with these.
it's great to see it happen, it really give me hope to move on....
thanks to (((MIP)))
Although it may not be easy the slogans are very helpful. One Day At A Time
Wounds take time to heal
I love reading the promises.
I believe the promises give hope to the newcomer and they remind folks already in the program changes that will occur if we continue to work our program. :)
Fear will be replaced by a faith.
{{Faith}}
There are moments when we really do get along, it can change on the drop of a dime and he can be pleasant and sweet to me.
There are moments as well where we fight all day long from the time I get up til we go to bed. The fighting is more than ever lately.....I cannot financially make it without him but I don't want this for my kids.
I think of myself before I met him, a gorgeous, happy fun loving woman who wad independent, very picky about who I dated and I had the world at at my finger tips. I dream of "that fictional man" who I was waiting to sweep me off my feet, I want to be in love again and with som Now I can barely look in the mirror, I'm constantly worried, sad ....even attempted suicide last year.
I never thought this would be my life and even though I know somewhere I am still strong and I'm a good mom and I don't drink....I am stuck, alone and feel like I will be forever.
So good to read. Thank you for posting this.
Good day,
I felt encouraged reading this post and the replies.
I am growing to and living with the mystery and joy of life.
Thank you all who risk and share your feelings, thoughts, and day to days.
First visit to this page, to any Al Anon forum - read this and I feel HUGGED with hope and understanding. Thru happy tears I read words of gifts greater than I could have ever dreamed. My cousin pointed me in this direction and from what I can tell, I have a lot of work ahead and much to gain...and a cousin to thank.
You are worth it.
I have been am dating an alcoholic for a year and when I read that your man does not tell you he loves you and constantly criticizes your appearance and tells you, you are overweight, I was stunned. I am living that life too. We do not have children or live together, but he won't admit he is an alcoholic and has a DUI that of course, is not his fault. He also has a disabling back injury and is taking pain pills with his alcohol.
When he met me. he thought I was just perfect. Now, I don't dress to please him, exercise enough and he doesn't like my cat or that I enjoy reading. We have known each other distantly for over 10 years.
I started Al Anon to fix him, but after only two months I see it is helping me. I am that strong courageous woman, I always have been, and by attending my meeting I want to recover. Slow moving, but there is no timeline. I am praying to my H.P., and feel and know I want that peace and serenity. I am trying to realize I cannot fix his addictions and that I am not giving up on me. I am the work in progress and am working on Letting go and letting God one day at a time. Thank you.
I am willing to do this work. The past 4 years in my last relationship with my EX has messed me up. I think is my biography. Time to live for me now and not him. I still do love him and always, but I cannot change him. In the past, I went to one Ala-non meeting as well as AA meetings with him, but his sobriety never lasted long . In that Ala-non meeting, I learned the term codependent. Although, we are not together romantically anymore, we still remain in contact. He is in prison right now. Claims he has hit rock bottom. But I have heard that before.
-- Edited by Damagedone on Saturday 18th of April 2015 02:40:50 PM
This promise keeps me focused and full of hope.
I will continue to look at me, my feels, actions, deficits and gifts so that I can understand more fully who I really am.
Thank you! I am glad I read this post. I think I am right where I belong. I look forward to that day when it comes, to be able to breathe again!