yesterday i was going back and forth in my mind if i did the right things in asking my a to get out of my life. i definatly know i did make the right choice. today when i spoke to him i asked when he was coming to get his familie's gifts that were here and he just screamed at me the whole time and said he didnt care that we are done and didnt care if i won't take him back. so it was a huge slap in the face. i was being nice and calm until he said that. then when he was done yelling i lost it and screamed f you, you fuc$$en drunk!!! whoops. how do i not let him get to me. i know he wants me to react like that. how can i stop being manipulated by him. right now i really hate him

I have had many many many a screamathon with my current boyfriend.  I have had to learn how to detach, not obsess, deal with stuff one day at a time and work on myself.  I find taking care of myself very very very difficult. I work on my resentments all the time and find layers and layers and layers of them. I also work on ways to get less enmeshed which is pretty difficult. My family of origin is still totally enmeshed I must say.

Chaos and drama have been the way I have lived most of my life not living that way is my new goal.   It is every bit as good a goal as earning more money I have found.

Maresie.