Hello Maria,

My daughter told me about that book. I do plan to read it when I have time but for now am wondering if you feel it is for all alanon people to read? Just looking for your own opnion. cdb :)

I also read this book a couple of months ago.  It was wonderful to me.  I posted here about it and received some negative posts about it.  I can understand that since this man, James chose not work work his recovery using the 12 steps.  However, it helped me understand addiction from an addicts point of view.  It also inspired me, maybe falsely, that a person can get clean and stay that way without the benefit of a program.  There is a second book that is a second part of his story.  This young man really struggled and now has 13 years clean.  It's a positive book regardless of whether or not this may be the site to tell others about it.  It's definately worth reading. I am getting ready to read it for a second time.

(((((((((((CB))))))))))),

You know what we say here "Take what you liked and leave the rest"  No everyone is always going to agree.  That's how we grow, by learning to agree to disagree in a mature, responsible way.

Regarding the book and my optimisism or naievete, if you will, I kept hoping and I kept reading that something would change and/or click within James.  And I was sad at the end to learn that it did not; however, I learned soooooooooooooooo much about the addictions and the battles that addicts suffer and that gave me such a different perspective that I never knew existed.  James may have made it but some of the others in the story did not without the 12 steps (I don't want to give away too much for those who are interested in reading it.)

I just know that I now have a very different opinion of addicts.  And I have such compassion for the parents of addicts and what it does to them.  And I thank God every single day of my life that thus far my children are clean.  Thank you, God.

I also have opinions about alcoholics too.  In my humble opinion (for whatever it is worth), AA teaches them how to not drink one day at a time.  And I have the highest respect for the battle they go through; however, one of the A's in my life does not attend Alanon.  He's been dry for 6 years and BOY DOES HE NEED ALANON.  See he's stopped drinking but his behaviors have not changed.  He can be obnoxious.  He has slowly but surely alienated some of my family due to his behaviors.  I invited him once to Al Anon and he said laughingly "I don't want to grow up."  Well, there it was.  I have in my groups "double winners" also and they are wonderful.  They have learned not to drink ODAT and now are learning how to grow up.  Some say double winners should not be in Al Anon.  I disagree.  I say that anyone willing to look at themselves and wanting to change behaviors that they learned growing up in an A home should come!  I welcome them with open arms.

Thanks for the question ((((((((((CB))))))))))).

Love ya,

Maria

Thanks so much for your replies,

My daughter said she had a hard time putting the book down but that there were parts that she had to put it down due to it reminding her of things in her life. She is a recoverying alcoholic/drug addict and she made it sound like the book spoke to her and gave her inspiration. I do plan on reading it now too. I see how AA and the 12 steps have helped my daughter learn and grow in her recovery and have helped her stay clean and sober. Students at our local high school are reading this book too right now and talking about it. I sure hope it helps them to stay away from drugs etc. or helps them in their recovery too. Again, ty for your input. cdb :)

CDB I read the book a year ago when my nephew was recovering from a drug addiction. I couldn't put the book down and it really helped me to see how an addicted person thinks and feels. I'have a very good friend who wants to borrow it from me and I can't let it go. I've turned her request to borrow mine two times now. This book really struck me and I plan to read it again when the time is right. I hope you get to it soon. whitie

ty whitie,

I was waiting for my daughter to let me read hers. But it sounds like I may have to order my own. My best friend's son was arrested today for drugs for second time :( He has been like a son to me. I am staying out of it which is tough. But will be available for any support my friend needs from me. It sounds like he may have to go to jail or prison :( Not a good time for my sweet/nice/kindhearted friend to have to go through all of this again. She sure could use prayers. Her name I will give here is Lu,,,Can't wait to read the book. cdb :) ((((((((whitie))))))