I found this site a few days ago and thought it would be good to become a member.
My name is Erin, I am 28. I have been married to an alcoholic for nearly 7 years. We have 2 children, boys aged 5 and 2. In between our boys we had a little girl who was stillborn at full term. During that time my husband was sober for 2 years.
When my husband drinks he can't stop and ends up in detox. This time he ended up in intensive care on life-support. I really thought he was going to die. Thankfully he has recovered and is resting at home now.
I don't know what is going to happen. Each time he drinks I think it's going to be the last but it never ends.
rosie light shines said
Dec 16, 2005
rinny , hi welcome to the group
one thing i learned with my "A" (now divorced) was i didn't CAUSE it.......i couldn't ever CONTROL it.....and i definitely was not going to CURE it..........i practice that lesson i learned here in group on my 2 "A" brothers whom i love...one of them ends up in detox, seizures, the works!! 2 years ago i thought he was a "gonner"......i guess it ends when they either die or the pain gets BAD enough to drive them into recovery
in the meantime???? i take care of me...work on me....focus on me and by doing so, i have discovered that taking care of me/ my recovery is a FULL time job, and i don't have time to put my "hands on" anyone elses business.....i love my brothers, i accept them and i keep a "hands off" policy.....it is THEIR karma THEIR life journey , they may have been my playmates and best friends growing up and STILL are my buddies, but the bottom line???? i am powerless over their drinking if that is what they want to do..................keep sharing with us, and get a sponser soon as you can, if you don't already have one, grab all the literature you can that is conference approved or at least supported on the 12STEPS ......books on codependence i would suggest as well......and get to as many meets as you can.......and peace be with you, rosie
megan said
Dec 16, 2005
Hi Rinny and welcome to alanon
This program is for you to help you cope.
(((Rinny))) - hugs
keep coming back
Picowitch said
Dec 16, 2005
Welcome rinny
you're in the right place - and if you get half the support out of this site that I have experienced, you will be well on your way, it is full of very wonderful, caring people.
HOpe to see you in the chatroom some time
leo said
Dec 17, 2005
Hi Rinny,
Gee you have had a lot to cope with in your 28 years. Time now to take care of you and your lovely kids. Your husband is the only person who can decide when and if he wishes to stop drinking. If he gets sick it is a consequence of his own actions. I suppose you have been down the same path as many of us checking for bottles, watering them down etc. None of it helps. Start with the 3 c's and work from there. We are always here for you and this board will become like a second family to you in fact probably more in tune and understanding than our blood relatives sometimes. Welcome from Australia. Here for you anytime. LUv Leo xx
Rinny said
Dec 17, 2005
Thank-you for your replies.
For along time I thought that I could control his drinking and when he picked up I blamed myself. I started to go to Al-Anon but I couldn't keep going because of my children. At first I kept his drinking a secret from everyone, I even lied to his boss for not turning up for work. But in the end people found out, and he couldn't work anymore.
There were 2 years where everything was great and I thought he would never drink again. We saved up for a deposit on a house and he got another job. But then he picked up and we lost our house. There were so many times I wanted to leave him but there was always something that held me back.
I have lost count of how many times he has been in detox, and this time last year he was in a rehab. Each time it just gets worse. On 30th Nov he took an overdose and was on life-support for 6 days, when he woke up he was delirius, he slowly got better and then came home on 13th Dec.
He is going back to the same rehab on the 22nd Dec. I'm glad for him to go, even though I will miss him for Christmas at least I know where he will be. Sometimes he goes missing for days on end, and he hasn't been with me for other Christmas's.
I believe in God and I believe He has helped me get through. I am a very quiet and shy person, lots of people say they don't know how I put up with him, but I do somehow. I just want him to stay sober and be the man I married. I wish that there was a cure, but I have accepted that there is not and I am just learning how to deal with things the way they are.
I found this site a few days ago and thought it would be good to become a member.
My name is Erin, I am 28. I have been married to an alcoholic for nearly 7 years. We have 2 children, boys aged 5 and 2. In between our boys we had a little girl who was stillborn at full term. During that time my husband was sober for 2 years.
When my husband drinks he can't stop and ends up in detox. This time he ended up in intensive care on life-support. I really thought he was going to die. Thankfully he has recovered and is resting at home now.
I don't know what is going to happen. Each time he drinks I think it's going to be the last but it never ends.
rinny , hi welcome to the group
one thing i learned with my "A" (now divorced) was i didn't CAUSE it.......i couldn't ever CONTROL it.....and i definitely was not going to CURE it..........i practice that lesson i learned here in group on my 2 "A" brothers whom i love...one of them ends up in detox, seizures, the works!! 2 years ago i thought he was a "gonner"......i guess it ends when they either die or the pain gets BAD enough to drive them into recovery
in the meantime???? i take care of me...work on me....focus on me and by doing so, i have discovered that taking care of me/ my recovery is a FULL time job, and i don't have time to put my "hands on" anyone elses business.....i love my brothers, i accept them and i keep a "hands off" policy.....it is THEIR karma THEIR life journey , they may have been my playmates and best friends growing up and STILL are my buddies, but the bottom line???? i am powerless over their drinking if that is what they want to do..................keep sharing with us, and get a sponser soon as you can, if you don't already have one, grab all the literature you can that is conference approved or at least supported on the 12STEPS ......books on codependence i would suggest as well......and get to as many meets as you can.......and peace be with you, rosie
Hi Rinny and welcome to alanon
This program is for you to help you cope.
(((Rinny))) - hugs
keep coming back
Welcome rinny
you're in the right place - and if you get half the support out of this site that I have experienced, you will be well on your way, it is full of very wonderful, caring people.
HOpe to see you in the chatroom some time
Hi Rinny,
Gee you have had a lot to cope with in your 28 years. Time now to take care of you and your lovely kids. Your husband is the only person who can decide when and if he wishes to stop drinking. If he gets sick it is a consequence of his own actions. I suppose you have been down the same path as many of us checking for bottles, watering them down etc. None of it helps. Start with the 3 c's and work from there. We are always here for you and this board will become like a second family to you in fact probably more in tune and understanding than our blood relatives sometimes. Welcome from Australia. Here for you anytime. LUv Leo xx
Thank-you for your replies.
For along time I thought that I could control his drinking and when he picked up I blamed myself. I started to go to Al-Anon but I couldn't keep going because of my children. At first I kept his drinking a secret from everyone, I even lied to his boss for not turning up for work. But in the end people found out, and he couldn't work anymore.
There were 2 years where everything was great and I thought he would never drink again. We saved up for a deposit on a house and he got another job. But then he picked up and we lost our house. There were so many times I wanted to leave him but there was always something that held me back.
I have lost count of how many times he has been in detox, and this time last year he was in a rehab. Each time it just gets worse. On 30th Nov he took an overdose and was on life-support for 6 days, when he woke up he was delirius, he slowly got better and then came home on 13th Dec.
He is going back to the same rehab on the 22nd Dec. I'm glad for him to go, even though I will miss him for Christmas at least I know where he will be. Sometimes he goes missing for days on end, and he hasn't been with me for other Christmas's.
I believe in God and I believe He has helped me get through. I am a very quiet and shy person, lots of people say they don't know how I put up with him, but I do somehow. I just want him to stay sober and be the man I married. I wish that there was a cure, but I have accepted that there is not and I am just learning how to deal with things the way they are.