Good afternoon everyone.  My first visit here was a couple of days ago and I have been looking forward to returning......and here I am.  My father is still in the hospital, but I have spoken with him over the past couple of days and visited him today to drop off some of his personal belongings (my mom is protesting for some reason that we can't figure out).  While at the hospital visiting, I spoke with my father about his addiction and I have faith in him to know that he will, eventually, turn himself around.  As I said before, it's not my father I am having issues with, it's my mother.  While speaking with him, we began to discuss my mother and I told him of an incident about 8 years ago where I contacted my pharmacy and doctor's office (speaking with the nurse practioner) in regards to my mother stealing my pills that I was taking for my endometriosis.  When I talked to them both, the doctors office said they would speak with her and she is no longer allowed to get any of my prescriptions from that pharmacy (I've moved since, so it really doesn't apply any longer), but you get where I'm going with all of this.  I'm not even sure if what I did this time was right, but it felt right to me so I went ahead with it (and I discussed this with my father today, also).  I called the nurse practioner again (thankfully she remembered me) and spoke with her in regards to my concerns with my mom, her pills, her alcohol consumption and her mental status.  I told her I was concerned with the fact that on top of all of the pills my mom is taking (and she is abusing them), she is drinking with them, sometimes too much, and that I am having a hard time in talking to her about it.  She said that she was planning on calling my mom in anyway in regards to some issues, but she is very, very glad that I brought this information to her because it will change a lot about how she is going to handle the situation.  I told her that if she needed to, she can tell my mom that I called in with this info....because at that point, I just didn't care anymore about my mom getting mad at me....I thought I was doing the right thing and would chance her getting mad at me....I can deal with it.  At the hospital, my dad told me that 3 years ago, my mom admitted to him that she has a problem with pills, but hasn't said a thing since then...SO, I feel a lot better knowing that at one point, she did admit it.  But, no longer.  I know that I cannot change anything, nor can I cure anything, but I have come to a realization that I must better myself and learn how to talk to my mom without arguing or yelling because it solves nothing.  So, I have looked around my area and found some al-anon meetings at a local church and both my sister and I are planning on attending.  I have not spoken with my mom in 2 days, but I feel better.  In the end, I do not want to be any 'less close' with my mom, but things have to change, and I hope she realizes that in the near future.  AH!  A lot off of my chest!  Now, it's just trying to convince my mother that I am NOT taking her granddaughter away from her, nor am I holding my daughter over her head (my mom is very immature and you have to talk to her like a child, which I cannot do any longer)....it takes SO much now NOT to get angry when you talk to her.  If anyone's seen Malcolm in the Middle, if you saw the episode where they go to a pyschiatrist to get help with Reese and the doctor says, "I've been practicing for a very long time, I'm sure I've heard it all...." and then is beside herself when she finds out what Reese had done.......if you were to have a conversation with my mom, you would feel exactly like the doctor did!  If I can't get back online, everyone, please have a nice weekend and I look forward to next week! 

Dear Daddyslilgirl, Good to hear from you again. I am glad you have found f2f meetings and plan to attend - they have been of great help and comfort to me. It sounds like you have reached a turning point, it is so true, what you said about nothing changing if nobody changes. For a very long time, I had a problem with denial, and honesty. I hid what was going on (or so I thought, lol, most people had a good idea) - also, I would "cover up", that is, lie, for members of my family. Now that I have practised the program (not perfectly, but I try), honesty comes top of my list. I have found myself making excuses for being late, the train, etc, now I pull myself up and admit - I should have left earlier. You have been open and honest with both parents, I think that will stand you in good stead as you reach out and find your own recovery. Working this program is not always easy - I have discovered things about myself that I do not particularly like, but, we are not perfect, I can work on them. Please keep us updated on the boards, or in the chat room, welcome to the fellowship of alanon, good luck, Lots of love, Flora xxxx