Hi, is it ok for a chairperson to simply change a meeting format and do it "my way" (as it was said) even if there is a group conscious decided format?
hotrod said
Oct 10, 2012
Hi Welcome to Miracles in Progress
The answer to your question is NO . Tradition 2 clearly states this "Our Leaders are but trusted servants . They do not Govern" The Group Conscious Format must prevail .
Calling a Business Meeting immediately when this happens usually addresses the issue and does not permit it to continue. If the format was changed and no one objected then a Business Meeting should be called at the next meeting.
slogan_jim said
Oct 10, 2012
No that is not permitted.
Could you give us some more detail on what 'my way' entails? I ask because I have been to several different meetings and they all seem to follow the WSO format but there are little differences. For example, the order in which things are read. One group reads 'what do you think living is for' and I have never seen that before. Some groups read the daily entry from courage to change while others don't. My home group is an adult children group so we read the 20 questions and answer one. I have yet to see another group do that. However, none of these things would indicate any sort of dominance on behalf of the chairperson.
mydogisreallycute said
Oct 10, 2012
Thank you both!
Our women's meeting format is topic / discussion. The chairperson has 10 minutes to read from the literature of her choosing and share experience strength and hope on the topic. Then the meeting is opened for anyone to share on the topi. She likes it when we read from a book and pass it around sharing after each paragraph for the entire meeting. But she just did it and truthfully she let me know before hand. She didn't ask, just told me. Considering our main issue has been getting people to use the literature I missed the bigger picture that we were having a major format change without a vote. Week two happens and we have a seasoned member speak up and it became awkward and we had quick vote to change the topic for the week. (this is when the 'do it my way' language was used) I'm looking for ESH and soliciting advice on this as she has three more weeks. Not sure where my responsibility lies as I've been told (as has the gr) that we are keepers of the group conscience.
I've edited out the personality issues but I will say it was one of the best meetings and newer members shared with great depth and vulnerability. Hp?
DavidG said
Oct 10, 2012
Hmmm... the traditions work together.
Under Trad 4 each group is autonomous , up to a point.
I have been in alanon for 30 years now, Our local group
was in recess for 8 years and I went to a neighbouring community.
We revived our local group and go with what works. We have a different chair each week
and try to pass the task on for the forthcoming meeting. The chair can adopt any format they
see fit. We try to get a newcomer to chair as soon as they are ready.
If a change works for the group it sticks.
This works well for a small-town group with a limited number of members.
yours in ESH,
David.
hotrod said
Oct 11, 2012
Hi Again
Alanon groups are free to change the Format of the meeting as long as the format stays within alanon approved guidelines. The change must be done by group conscience.
At the Business Meeting
The topic should be introduced. The new change outlined then there should be a discussion by the members. Once the discussion is over Then a vote can take place. Majority rules.
In reading your post it sounds as if there are hidden motives for the change "To get people to use literature". That is not the purpose of meetings or alanon. We have given up trying to control others, and lead by example and suggestion.
The Traditions were developed because we are not all recovered and when given authority over the group we may tend to try to gain control. It is every member responsibility to guard the traditions of alanon so that the message is keep safe for everyone.
Good Luck You were wise to be concerned
mydogisreallycute said
Oct 11, 2012
Thank you for all the insights. I appreciate the advice. Just to clarify the meeting and it's functionality... Actually there is no hidden motive to get people to use the literature. It's been decided by group conscience to use the literature and pick a topic and share ESH for 8-10 minutes then open it up. Nothing hidden, all out in the open. In fact, that procedure is read at the beginning of the meeting.
So, I wanted to update the board: I've been speaking with some seasoned members who have pointed me in a loving direction that supports our primary purpose, uses communication, and shows great compassion. It's not about the procedure, which I get stuck on. It's about getting closer to hp and using the traditions and concepts. I'll give another update after some conversations.
DavidG said
Oct 11, 2012
Its great to get feedback! I do not believe Alanon is a franchise, exactly the same everywhere-
but we do expect the welcome and the encouragement to be the same.
As an individual I have had many moments, and groups have their moments of indecision too.
When visiting I expect to find these moments sometimes. They are important parts of growth.
"The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you..." each new member
is a treasure because it reflects back to us the person we know oursleves to be.
"participation is the key to harmony" [Concept 4,]
ODAT... DavidG.
mydogisreallycute said
May 27, 2017
WOW! I meant to reply to this like.... YEARS AGO!
So what happened was.... I called the chairperson referred to above. I had a handy list of bullet points because I was terrified of this type of confrontation. I said a quick prayer and dialed... She answered happily and we had a lovely chat. She started the conversation by saying, "You know, it seems like this meeting doesn't want my style!" Then she belly laughed. As did I. We discussed the framework in our group conscience and she elected to move on as she prefers a different way. (Luckily this area has a boatload of meetings.) We remain friends and enjoy each other's company in fellowship.
The meeting is still always back and forth on who follows what from the group conscience. Always a lesson about the traditions, communication, letting go, and detaching with love. All in All.... YES Business Meetings Business Meetings Business Meetings. Good suggestion and now that I've experienced more and more, I understand how loving and fair presenting business in business meetings is.
I'm so grateful to you for being here. I had forgotten all about these message boards. Just now, I was looking up something on my computer. I searched the term Group Conscious after having searched the correct spelling Group Conscience. I didn't find what I was looking for ... but here I am able to thank you all.
DavidG said
May 28, 2017
Oh my!
Nice to see this feedback, doglover!!! Betty is away at the moment- and I am sure she will be delighted to see to see your response when she gets back.
i responded to a conscience issue posting just before... tried to offer some ESH...
...I come from a small town right across the road. Outside of our group there was literally nowhere else to go. So we always had to make our peace- the best way we could. I have bin to Betty's home meeting in her home town- and this was a wonderful experience too...
We are all in this together...
thanks...
-D.
mydogisreallycute said
Jul 8, 2017
Hey David,Thought I'd just write this here. I was considering joining this Al-anon board. However, I've come to find I'm uncomfortable with the lack of security on the site and won't be able to stay. If it were HTTPS I would join in.
So sad, you all are doing great service here. Hoping for the best. :)
DavidG said
Jul 9, 2017
Hmmm--- tradition 4... My home group had a different chair at each meeting. The chair was decided from one meeting from the next.
A chair could alter the format if they wished. It was up to the chair of the following meeting to decide whether to retain the change. Or not.
Groups in the USA, Canada and Puerto Rico come under the WSO. Other nations not so- but, from what I can see- they all adhere to the
same basic principles. I live in one of those countries...
DavidG said
Jul 9, 2017
Thoughts... about the growth of groups... the two slogans spring to mind.
Progress not perfection, and How important is this?
Obviously, when something is out of whack- something needs to be done. If a member is facing a hurricane at home, and is chairing a meeting wrong- then I ask these questions. Sometimes a quiet word from a sponsor is all that is needed.
DavidG said
Jul 11, 2017
[Step 10.]
One place I missed out on- countries that come under the jurisdiction of Alanon WSO.
Hi, is it ok for a chairperson to simply change a meeting format and do it "my way" (as it was said) even if there is a group conscious decided format?
Hi Welcome to Miracles in Progress
The answer to your question is NO . Tradition 2 clearly states this "Our Leaders are but trusted servants . They do not Govern" The Group Conscious Format must prevail .
Calling a Business Meeting immediately when this happens usually addresses the issue and does not permit it to continue. If the format was changed and no one objected then a Business Meeting should be called at the next meeting.
Hmmm... the traditions work together.
Under Trad 4 each group is autonomous , up to a point.
I have been in alanon for 30 years now, Our local group
was in recess for 8 years and I went to a neighbouring community.
We revived our local group and go with what works. We have a different chair each week
and try to pass the task on for the forthcoming meeting. The chair can adopt any format they
see fit. We try to get a newcomer to chair as soon as they are ready.
If a change works for the group it sticks.
This works well for a small-town group with a limited number of members.
yours in ESH,
David.
Its great to get feedback! I do not believe Alanon is a franchise, exactly the same everywhere-
but we do expect the welcome and the encouragement to be the same.
As an individual I have had many moments, and groups have their moments of indecision too.
When visiting I expect to find these moments sometimes. They are important parts of growth.
"The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you..." each new member
is a treasure because it reflects back to us the person we know oursleves to be.
"participation is the key to harmony" [Concept 4,]
ODAT... DavidG.
So what happened was.... I called the chairperson referred to above. I had a handy list of bullet points because I was terrified of this type of confrontation. I said a quick prayer and dialed... She answered happily and we had a lovely chat. She started the conversation by saying, "You know, it seems like this meeting doesn't want my style!" Then she belly laughed. As did I. We discussed the framework in our group conscience and she elected to move on as she prefers a different way. (Luckily this area has a boatload of meetings.) We remain friends and enjoy each other's company in fellowship.
The meeting is still always back and forth on who follows what from the group conscience. Always a lesson about the traditions, communication, letting go, and detaching with love. All in All.... YES Business Meetings Business Meetings Business Meetings. Good suggestion and now that I've experienced more and more, I understand how loving and fair presenting business in business meetings is.
I'm so grateful to you for being here. I had forgotten all about these message boards. Just now, I was looking up something on my computer. I searched the term Group Conscious after having searched the correct spelling Group Conscience. I didn't find what I was looking for ... but here I am able to thank you all.
Oh my!
Nice to see this feedback, doglover!!! Betty is away at the moment- and I am sure she will be delighted to see to see your response when she gets back.
i responded to a conscience issue posting just before... tried to offer some ESH...
...I come from a small town right across the road. Outside of our group there was literally nowhere else to go. So we always had to make our peace- the best way we could. I have bin to Betty's home meeting in her home town- and this was a wonderful experience too...
We are all in this together...
thanks...
-D.
Hey David,Thought I'd just write this here. I was considering joining this Al-anon board. However, I've come to find I'm uncomfortable with the lack of security on the site and won't be able to stay. If it were HTTPS I would join in.
So sad, you all are doing great service here. Hoping for the best. :)
Hmmm--- tradition 4... My home group had a different chair at each meeting. The chair was decided from one meeting from the next.
A chair could alter the format if they wished. It was up to the chair of the following meeting to decide whether to retain the change. Or not.
Groups in the USA, Canada and Puerto Rico come under the WSO. Other nations not so- but, from what I can see- they all adhere to the
same basic principles. I live in one of those countries...
Thoughts... about the growth of groups... the two slogans spring to mind.
Progress not perfection, and How important is this?
Obviously, when something is out of whack- something needs to be done. If a member is facing a hurricane at home, and is chairing a meeting wrong- then I ask these questions. Sometimes a quiet word from a sponsor is all that is needed.
[Step 10.]
One place I missed out on- countries that come under the jurisdiction of Alanon WSO.
I missed out on Guam.